TUCSON, ARIZ | The Girl Scouts of America announced today its organizational support for Islamic Jihad, in light of months-long outbreaks of violence between Israel and the Palestinians, culminating in an Israeli re-occupation of key West Bank cities.

"The Girl Scouts of America declares its unequivocal support for Islamic Jihad, for the right of legitimate protest, and we call upon the Zionist entity to halt its aggressive and excessive use of force against the peace-loving peoples of occupied Palestine," Tamara Johnson, head of the southwestern chapter of the Girl Scouts stated at a noonday press conference.

Ms. Johnson also stated that effective immediately, 10 percent of all proceeds from the sale of Girl Scout cookies would be channeled to Islamic Jihad and other Arab charities in the West Bank and Gaza. "With nearly $3 billion in annual aid to Israel by the United States, our small contribution to Palestinian justice is a drop in the bucket," stated Ms. Johnson during the press conference. "This aid represents the long-standing committment of the Girl Scouts to social justice for all oppressed peoples of the world."

Reaction to the Girl Scouts announcement was greeted with enthusiasm throughout the Arab world. Jamilah El-Aziz, a 12-year old schoolgirl in Gaza, ulullated with heartfelt joy at the news: "Allahu akbar! God is great! Our hearts belong to the Girl Scouts!" she shouted. Her 7-year old brother Jibreel also beamed proudly. "We are so grateful to the Girl Scouts, even if they don't veil and are infidels," he said.

The State Department had no comment.