The NAACP released a report on former President Bill Clinton's activities for the first year out of office and determined that he still remains America's first black president.

"Mr. Clinton opened his primary office in Harlem, where he coordinates all of his post-Presidential activites," stated D'uane S'mith, "a move that set him far apart from either Democractic and certainly Republican predecessors. He was even stopped by the po-lice because he fit the profile, which further proves that he still is black."

The report noted that Mr. Clinton still remains very popular with the general public at large, and with the black community in particular, although he did decline four percentage points with Jewish girls aged 21-29.

Mr. Clinton's recent speeches concerning AIDS at the AIDS Conference in Barcelona (which is in Spain, a country in Europe) this year was received extraordinarily, as was an impromptu rapping session after his speech with the hot, hot, hot German rap trio Raüs Juden, Raüs. When asked about their name, the group responded: "It's not anti-Semitic, y'know what I'm saying? It's like, you know, word, dope-ass slang for saying, get out Jews...on the dance floor. Y'know what I'm saying, bitch?"

The report noted that many American blacks felt that Clinton had been railroaded by the Whitewater investigation and the Lewinsky affair that eventually found the former president fighting for his political life in an impeachment trial. As noted social scientist and Harvard ethics professor Rupert McSowen said, "Many African-Americans saw the System going after one man for what many considered an indiscretion. The president liked pussy. He thought about pussy, he talked about pussy, and got some pussy. The witch-hunt into his private life left many African-Americans to view the Republicans as uptight honky motherfuckers who couldn't get no pussy and was pissed about it."

Mr. Clinton's public relations team had no comment to the report.