This weekend I had company over to the house. She and I had dinner, drank some wine, watched movies, and basically had a good time. The next morning I woke up and fixed pancakes with banana chunks (Mmmm, 'naners), fresh fruit, juice, and coffee. After breakfast she drove home where we were going to meet up in a couple of hours. Walking her out the front door, four pamphlets that had been left in my doorjamb fell edge first onto my welcome mat. Picking them up, I placed them on the dining room table and proceeded to pick up and wash the breakfast dishes. Glancing down at the pamphlets, I couldn’t help but notice the faux $1,000,000 bill. Picking it up and flipping it around, I read the following quote scrawled around it’s edge:

“The million dollar question: Will you go to Heaven? Here’s a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God’s name in vain? Jesus said, “Whoever looks upon a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already with her in his heart.” Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgement Day? If you have done those things God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in hell.”

It was after reading this that I became a bit concerned. Was somebody spying on me? Had they seen what I was up to last night? Were tiny pinhole cameras secreted away high up in dark, long-forgotten corners of my house? Was a shadow society watching what I did in the bathroom via strategically placed military surplus orbiting geosynchronous infrared camera satellites? Does God really hate me? From the foyer, to the loggia, and back to the lanai, was this a house of ill repute? Was I really condemned to suffer for the petty human sin of lust? Was this a case of a vengeful God wanting retribution, or was this simply a case of the right flyer in the wrong place at the right time?

Of course, there’s always the possibility that this situation is being overblown and treated as fodder by a paranoid, delusional blogger desperate for fresh material…