In this take-off of The Iron Chef, Craft Corner Deathmatch pits two contestants against one another as they make crafts based on a given theme and supplied with materials that can come from either the corner craft shop or the corner of a homeless shelter. The contestants are given 10 minutes to make their crafts while being verbally abused by the belligerent host whose tongue-in-cheek ribbing of the contestants flusters them as they furiously struggle to come up with a crafting idea that fulfills the given theme for that round. The crowd chants "Craft! Craft! Craft!" as the contestants run around the studio picking up underwear, clay, garbage and glitter that soon will be fashioned into "quality" crafting items. At the end of each 10 minute crafting session the results are judged by three women who don't necessarily have a crafting background, but they more than make up for that with a serious lack of personality. These three judges rate the crafts on a scale of one to ten. After two rounds of guerrilla crafting the scores are added up (scores based on a 10-point system encompassing "utility, creativity, and utility") with the winning bored housewife moving on to the final craft-off against the dangerous Craft Lady of Steel who makes her entrance though a tunnel of vertigo-inducing lighting effects accompanied by high-energy music (imagine the NFL gang-tackling a fashion show and you get the idea). The CLoS dresses in stiff silver outfits, she never smiles, and she always seems to be annoyed that she's being forced to waste her time with these hacks they call "contestants". Her take-no-prisoners attitude makes a great straight-man to the wise cracking host who takes great pleasure in mocking her. Never before have ribbons, hot glue and rivets ever looked so intimidating.

Host: "It's all I can do to keep them from ripping each other to shreads and making necklaces out of each others bones!"

A bit of history about the Craft Lady Of Steel: Costume designer Jocelyn Worrall (Brooklyn, NY) has worked in New York City at a number of theatres, including Chashama Inc., Theater for the New City, St. Mark's Ontological Theatre and P.S. 122. Her designs have also been seen in feature films and commercials. In addition, she has worked as a designer in the textile industry, developing woven fabrics for both clothing and interiors. (tgc.org)

If you're interested in obtaining tickets for a live TV taping of CCD, you can try calling 1-888-220-2190 or email audience@idiotboxproductions.com. I'm not sure when their taping schedule is, but I guess it can't hurt to ask if you're really hard up to be part of the studio audience.

Curious about Amber? Read her fascinating and highly detailed bio here.

I guess it's true that if you throw enough crap on the television, eventually something will stick. I'm disgusted with myself for being suckered into watching this garbage. To atone, I'll throw Fight Club into the DVD player, hit "repeat" and dive into a twelve pack of Karl Strauss Amber Lager. In Tyler we trust...


"Use this crap! We placed it here for YOU!"


"Craft! Craft! Craft!"


The Craft Lady Of Steel (Jocelyn Worralll) makes her dramatic entrance...


"...and she made her coat out of the skins of fallen competitors!"