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2006 June 7th Wednesday 21:22PDT
my purpose in life
Tuesday (June 6th) i drank tea with Tony, brushed my teeth, took a shower, and douched my ass thoroughly with my personal plumbing attachment. I lubed my hole with generic vaseline while cleaning, then smeared generic K-Y gel on my toys to improve insertion. My first penetrative pleasure device was the Black Rubber Penis Plug (#25). Then i affixed ShawnsDong (#17) to the fiberglass wall in the shower and backed onto him. I rode him for a while until my ass felt totally opened up and ready for anything. Stoned on Marinol, energized by caffeine, enhanced by kavalactones, and yohimbe, i was in a great mood. Satisfied that my reamings had verified the impeccable cleanliness of my colon, i adjourned to the northwest room where i have a happy playspace.
I ate a banana, drank some lite cran-raspberry juice, and took all my usual medications. I think it's good to have a small amount of something healthy to eat in order to have lots of energy for exercise. Most days i feel too lethargic to do much physically, but there are times when i'm very motivated. Some of the motivation is simply a matter of being extremely horny, and also it helps to have lots of extra rest (i'd slept many more hours than usual during the previous day). So Tuesday was definitely a day when i was revved up. On the stereo surround system i played music by MixMaster Morris: the Dangerous Drums Berlin session. My asshole was well lubricated with Slam Dunk cream. I retrieved Thor (#6) from the toybox and proceeded to slide seven or eight inches of him into my ass, then i rode up and down happily exercising all the muscles in my legs, lower back, and ass.
After shoving Thor and ShawnsDong up my ass repeatedly while pushing the Black Penis Plug down my throat for fun, i took a little break. Washing the grease off my hands and arms, i went to the kitchen and shared a navel orange with Tony. Then the album Mirror System began to play. I especially enjoy the Flex-e-fun track with guest Alex Patterson of The Orb. I took my special dildo Bam (#4) from the toybox and devoted myself to him for the next hour.
I have a wooden plank which has been sanded smooth on one side and coated with latex paint. I wedged this board between the wall and the side of the bed, putting an old towel behind it to stop it from knocking noisily against the wall. The bed had been covered with layers of plastic sheets, then old terrycloth towels, then cotton sheets, to keep any semen, piss, sweat and grease from penetrating to the clean furniture underneath. Bam's suction-cup base is very strong, so i affixed him to the board and he stuck out from the wall, hanging about twenty-five centimeters above the bed. Then i got on my hands and knees and backed up onto him. I squeezed a large old pillow up under my stomach for support and found myself in a perfectly comfortable position for riding my awesome toy as i listened to Mirror System. Once in a while i would inhale a whiff from a bottle of poppers, making my ass muscles relax even more as my head spun in the acrid, dizzy, sexy ambience. Shoving myself back and forth, i humped on Bam and was penetrated seven or eight inches deep as rapidly as i could manage. I took occasional breaks, switching for a few minutes to squatting positions in which i stood Bam upright and lowered myself onto him. By frequently shifting my exercises i avoided fatigue in any particular muscles or joints, prolonging my ability to bounce gleefully on my toys. Bam fits my ass so perfectly, there were times when i backed against him as he hung from the wall, and he filled me up inside with such magnificent pleasure, i just never wanted to have to take him out of myself, ever!
The next album was Baggage by Dubtribe Sound System. This is a continuous mix of some very uptempo and uplifting songs by Sunshine and Moonbeam. The next toy which i utilized was the largest of my new black polyvinyl dildos: the Heavens (#53). The Heavens is the largest of the six new smooth ribbed items i acquired this year, and it's sort of hard to use in sideways positions. It tends to work best standing perfectly upright, as i squatted over it and lowered myself in a sort of 'frog' position to accept its first three or four segments in my happy asshole. Then i made rapid joyful jacking motions using the strength of my upper legs and hips to slam myself up and down on the pointy penetrator as i listened to the fast-paced music and worked up quite a sweat.
Eventually i needed another rest, so i washed the grease off my arms and sat at my computer; my chair was covered by an old towel because my body was coated with quite a bit of lubricants and perspiration. I sipped some sugar-free cola as i was reading and writing. When the next musical selection began, i was ready for more action. The Naxos Siesta 2002 session from MixMaster Morris was a lovely, trippy, playful blend of ambient melodies and rhythms, with many samples of voices, singers, speakers, and ludic nonsense twirled into the dreamy blend. I picked up my friend, The World's Largest Vibrating Rubber Dong (#10) and returned to the bed.
As i romped ecstatically with TWLVRD the bewitching music elevated my mood ever higher. Now and then i would take a sniff from the bottle of poppers, then viciously cram as much as nine inches of the incredible vibrator up my ass. The best position for penetration with this toy was kneeling with him behind me, wedged between my feet for stability, as i pushed his head through my sphincter and slid downward. Then i humped up and down at the highest speed the muscles in my hips could manage. I frequently yanked myself all the way up and off the top, moaning and luxuriating in the sensation of having my anus stretched wide open by his great flared head; then i would shove him back in as quickly as possible, grunting and sweating. These penetrations literally forced the piss out of me from time to time, as drops of urine and pre-cum flung from the tip of my cock, and sticky tendrils sometimes dripped while i lost myself mindlessly further and further into the harmonious layers of music and lust.
I'm so happy to be able to know my purpose in life, if i am supposed to have one. For many years, ever since i was quite young, i've enjoyed a variety of sexual activity, especially rectal penetration with large objects. Many things make me horny, make me hard, make me cum... but if i had to specify what it is that i'm doing with my life, i would probably say that dildosexuality is my most important personal preoccupation.
I have numerous different kinks, and i focus on a variety of pleasures all the time. But the activities which make me feel motivated to get the best exercise, to really try to optimize the shape of my body, are usually dildosexual.
Fooling around with Bam, TWLVRD, and The Heavens, hopping on one toy then another, i cavorted until muscles and joints everywhere in my body began to tire, even ache a tiny bit. I wore down a set of four "double-AA" batteries in the giant vibrator as its buzzing grew slightly softer and slower while the music played on. Drugged, horny, felix ludic, i listened to the voices in MixMaster Morris' Naxos Siesta 2002 audio creation while stuffing my ass.
...'cause you feel like you might wanna scream...
...when you hear the thunder...
Sit beside the breakfast table and think about your troubles.
Pour yourself a cup of tea and think about the bubbles.
You can take your teardrops and drop them in a teacup
Take them down to the riverside and throw them over the side
to be swept up by a current then taken to the ocean
to be eaten by some fishes who are eaten by some fishes
and swallowed by a whale who grew so old he decomposed.
He died and left his body to the bottom of the ocean
Now everybody knows if everybody decomposes
the basic elements are given back to the ocean
and the seed does what it oughta' and soon the salty water
'cause it tastes just like a teardrop
and it comes out of a faucet
[and it pours into a teapot]
which is just about to bubble
Now, think about your trouble...
We begin to journey
across the endless space and time
We begin to journey
across the endless space and time
We begin to journey
Universe... a different time...
releasing... a peace of mind...
I pledge allegiance to the funk... of the Universal Unfolding
that I may be free to express myself... to the fullest
Grant me that I may inherit from you... an abundance
of Love, Peace, Joy, and Happiness.
It's time that we make a change,
a change for the Spirtual Oneness.
Don't you wanna be one, don't you wanna be, don't wanna be One
with the Spirit?
I mean, that is the purpose of life, didn't you know?
Find the Spirit,
connect yourself within
then all of life's problems will come to an end.
The voices speak loud, no you're not crazy, no you're not losing you're mind...
that's right... it's called a Spritual Oneness, baby!
Connect! Get tight!
Star light, Star bright, how I wish tonight
that all the people of the world would unite and take flight
in your Universal unfolding
spread your wings and fly
spread your wings and fly
fly away!
fly away!
in a Universal Unfolding...
Spread your wings and fly
So take it easy, easy, easy, real easy
Make it mellow, make it mellow...
fly away!
Make it mellow
in your Universal Unfolding
Make it mellow
in your Universal Unfolding
I pledge allegiance to the funk... of the Universal Unfolding
that I may be free to express myself... to the fullest
Grant me that I may inherit from you... an abundance
of Love, Peace, Joy, and Happiness.
Heaving myself on The World's Largest Vibrating Rubber Dong, squeezing my cock and balls, my jizz flew all over the sheets. I finally yanked the Dong out of my ass and threw myself down to the bed, licking up my semen and smearing my face in it. Then i got up and went to Tony's room, laughing and showing him how my face smelled like fresh cumjuices. He let me fondle his sensational pair of orbs in his scrotum, and blew me kisses. We told each other "I love you," and we always feel it sincerely whenever a variation of those words are uttered or signaled by those kiss-kiss gesticulations. I am so lucky, i know some of the sexiest people in the world, and they treat me like some kind of lover, a lover of mutual orgasmic pleasures, a lover of many delights. I turned on my Yahoo Messenger webcam using my primary Adults~Only teledi1d0nix profile, but my Yahoo buddies and my iChat buddies were all away, so i didn't spend much time at the desk.
Although i felt rather physically exhausted, i was still horny (as always) so i picked up my newest dildo of all, the Siren mega-dong. I took him to the bed, pushed more Slam Dunk into my ass, and smeared liquid-K-Y over the black toy's surface. Kneeling over him, i pushed down harder and harder until his super-wide head finally popped through my anus, making me squeal at the moment of maximum dilation. Once his head was inside my rectum his shaft slid more easily, until i finally had about nine inches of this monster embedded in my butt. The stuffing was so incredibly stimulating it was almost making my head spin with a strange sort of overwhelmed feeling, as though i were rendered completely scatter-brained and unable to think straight because of the way he totally dominated my senses. I unscrewed the cap on the bottle of poppers and inhaled a big lungful, holding my breath and feeling myself calm slightly. I took a couple more hits then closed the bottle and put it aside. I became so relaxed, my head seemed to clear.
There was only one thing to do. It was so simple. My purpose was so definite.
Lifting myself up and down as i kneeled on the bed with the giant black MegaDong impaling me as deeply as physically possible, i steadied the Siren with my right hand at his base between my feet, while i squeezed my cock and balls with my left hand. Then i rode him forcefully, grunting and panting, slamming myself with every last bit of strength to take him as far into my body, my mind, my spirit as ever i could.
Eventually i was really running out of steam, so i switched to a reclining position against the pillows beside the wall. I continued to keep the Siren seven or eight inches inside my ass as i lied back, letting my breathing slow down, stretching my legs out. As i became more calm, i thought about some of the kinky games i like to play by myself. In the crate below the shelf next to the bedside i keep various sexual toys such as my ultimate padded leather hood, cock-rings, matching sets of small padlocks with keys, et cetera. While still retaining the megadong in my butt, i leaned over the side of the bed and retrieved several devices, arraying them around myself as i sat there below some of my posters by Susan Seddon Boulet. Occasionally i like to play by myself with some bondage gear such as that diabolical hood, fooling around with breath control, sensory deprivation, and nearly hallucinatory experiences. I've actually had some instances which were sort of like LSD flashback kinds of moments, when i felt much higher than i would have thought possible given my moderate intake of substances like THC. It seems there are endorphins and other factors which amplify and intensify some of my solitary kinky activities, and i've noted sensations of building-up and coming-down which are probably related to various neurochemical levels.
On this particular Tuesday evening i had one of those incidents in which the drugs, libido, music, emotions, sensations, hardware, and all ingredients coalesced into another imaginary encounter with fantasy men of my daydreams. But this incident was far more vivid than most, as though my senses were lying to me, as though i were truly physically feeling, smelling, seeing things which could not possibly be there, but i experienced them and knew them. I knew him.
Chin to Chin
There was a queer dildonysiac from Vermont
whose sexy new megadong enchanted him to want
fucking big toys jammed with zeal
in his superstar ass with a squeal
while the Siren's song in magic dreams did haunt.
There was a sexy man from Essex Junction.
His phantasm had a sorcerous function:
He seemed to touch me chin to chin
while i (sensory-deprived, seeking within)
imagined his spirit visiting my rambunction.
There was a hood with a gag inside; i struggled to breathe.
Poppers, heart pounding, jizz did seethe--
there was a weird imagined moment
in which sex eudaemons could foment
a reunion with the ghost i couldn't believe.
There was no way out but through spasm,
i didn't resist the phantasm;
i heaved, gurgled, and choked;
our sex wizardry invoked:
the cum, tears, snot, and orgasm!
There was a point beyond panic or fears;
Shawn's dead, now gone four long years
but phantasies soothed me
while big dildos moved me--
our love rejoiced in triumphant tears.
There was fun with sex toys, love drugs, dildonix,
lubes creamy white, rubber dongs vinyl onyx.
Emotions transmute loss and lust,
thus dionysiacs dancing we must
kiss eudeamons' passion in secret psionics.
There was a scare, the leather hood brought always high panic;
Pan, Dionysius, Cernunnos-- we get frantic.
It thrills me beyond freaky
dimensions so peaky
i'd surrender, for whimsies necromantic.
There was an idea revealed by the ghost visitor,
but could the dreams withstand an actual inquisitor?
Imaginary psionic sex
is the only way the eudaemon expects
us to reach nirvana, sans inhibitors.
There was no way in the real world
which our faerie plans could be unfurled--
Hooray! We conjure alien dreams
where always life or death seems
to spiral infinitely, muladhara uncurled.
There was no brave nor foolish choice
in response to the Siren's voice.
Survival instinct prevailed,
Shawn departed, my straits entailed
life preservation, lust release-- rejoice!
There was only more time ahead
for me to daydream instead
of chin to chin
(psionics within)
and survive, endure beyond, be not dead.
There was a laughing singer who almost snared me,
the Siren called and nearly dared me
to gamble my breath and life
on teledildonix quite rife
with crazy lust for a man who shared me.
There was a force named Shawn (the eudaemon)--
he filled my brain and ass, we squeezed out semen.
We sputtered, choked, and silently giggled,
to the precipitous edge of life we wriggled;
either side of death we remained still two free men.
After the megadong was yanked free of my ass and i spent several minutes removing the hood, i noticed the additional gobs of semen where i was sitting. I saw a large heron land on a log of the breakwater at the foot of South Hill a few minutes after sunset. In the twilight the birds and breezes were barely audible. I think i heard two firecracker noises in the neighborhood. The Canadian mountains stood out against the partly cloudy sky. I washed all my toys thoroughly and left them to dry on a tray upon the shelf below the open window, then i washed my body and hair during a long thorough shower. I brushed my teeth, washed both my pairs of eyeglasses, tidied the apartment a little as all the bondage gear and other stuff went back to their resting places, then i shared another navel orange with Tony. I was so exhausted, but the caffeine, THC, and nutritional intake had helped me to achieve sufficient exercise. The date which could be written 6/6/6 was one of the most pleasurable Tuesdays i'd experienced in months, perhaps years.
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