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2006 June 6th Tuesday 01:49PDT
Superman or Green Lantern ain't got a-nothin' on me
Thursday morning (June 1st) our internet connection strangely stopped working. Some websites and online services continued as normal, but many (such as Yahoo, IMDB, and several others which i tried to use) simply could not be reached. Our ISP (Avvanta.com) posted this on their website:
Global Crossing Outages posted by admin at 10:42am
Beginning at about 7:00am Pacific time, Global Crossing, one of Avvanta's upstream connections to the Internet, has been experiencing large outages in California. A large number of sites use this path for access and has been causing some sites to be unreachable sporadically. Many sites have been routed around the affected routers, both by Global and by Avvanta using alternative routes. Global Crossing is aware of the issue and is working to restore service to full capacity.
That's the second time in less than two weeks that our service has been messed up by Global Crossing. This is irritating, but mostly i suppose because i've been accustomed to such fine, spotless, uninterrupted service during the previous year, so that's the only reason i mention it. Compared to when we used to have Comcast Cable (previously AT&T Broadband) the DSL is a zillion times more reliable.
While our internet connection was kaput i took a short nap, then finished reading a book given to me by my friend Travis: the novel Hocus Pocus by Kurt Vonnegut. This is the umpteenth long work of literature by Vonnegut which i've read in my life, in addition to quite a few of his short stories. While i read this book little by little, just a few chapters at a time, over the past however many months, it evoked emotions in me. It made me laugh out loud a few times, and silently a hundred. It made me share a few short passages out loud with Tony. It made me cry several times. Most of Vonnegut's novels have that effect. I was introduced to a short story (Harrison Bergeron) when i was only eleven or twelve years old, by a teacher at Milton Junior High School who gave half a dozen of her advanced students some interesting extra curriculum outside of the regular class assignments. Then my English teacher for three years at Milton Senior High School (the fabulously intelligent and stimulating Mr Jim Murphy) introduced me to Cat's Cradle, Player Piano, Slaughterhouse Five and other novels written by this clever humanist whom i admire deeply. Twenty years later i've honestly lost count of how many of his books have enriched me. I don't agree with every sentiment expressed by his protagonists, i have different opinions on many issues he raises, but overall i do tend to appreciate and share most of his ideas. I've never been able to express notions-- complex or simple-- with the pithy wit and dazzling charm he employs. Wouldn't it be wonderful if i had some kind of talent as magnificent as that possessed by the heroes i admire? Sometimes i feel envy.
Thursday evening was mostly rainy. When our ISP was back to normal i played on my iMac for hours, enjoying time with my friends in the Lion's Lair. I fell asleep some time after 20:00PDT and rested for more than fourteen hours.
Friday June 2nd during that long time in bed i had a number of silly dreams. In one dream i am being visited by Shawn and other friends. Somehow it seems that Shawn never actually died; instead he has merely moved far away and has no telephone so i can't reach him, but he promises to come and visit occasionally. He seems a little sad, but his friend Brad and i are trying to cheer him up. Then i have to go back to work at Verizon. I try to work for the duration of an afternoon but i feel so exhausted and incompetent, i think i'm not really getting anything useful accomplished. I'm looking through paperwork in a filing cabinet for IBEW unionized employees, searching for the name of some man who's going to help me; perhaps he will replace me, then i'll be able to go home. I just want to go home. So now i'm walking home, but i'm somewhere in Essex Junction, Vermont, and i think i'm losing my way. I'm at the northeast corner of the intersection of Susie Wilson Road and Route 15, not far from the beginning of Pine Street, and i've wandered off the side of the road down into the grassy ditch. It has rained and is soaking wet here in the tall grass. White Birch trees with a few mushrooms growing from their bark are leaning at angles. It's cold. I think i've lost my shoes. Then i'm in a different place, i'm in Milton, Vermont. I'm a teenager again and i'm working at my job at René's store. I'm in the walk-in cooler, sorting cases of beverages in stacks of cardboard boxes, and i'm so tired... but none of these dreams ever seemed to have any point after my eyes opened. My mind is even more irrational when unconscious than when i'm awake.
I went into Tony's room and found him still asleep in his bed, so i cuddled up against him for a couple minutes, then left him alone again. I quietly went about the kitchen making coffee, washing the Brita filtration system, and boiling more water to disinfect then cool for later. Happy tunes from The Spirit of KJAZ [open link in an MP3 stream player] were entertaining as i sipped my Arabica beverage with cream, saccharine, and sugar.
Friday evening i played MahJong with my buddies in the Lion's Lair. I was proud to win a hand which had never before been demonstrated on the Yahoo advanced tables: i arranged 5Faan with KFC~mixed~suits, all~chows, all~hidden, OwnFlower&Ownseason, by Self~Pick. This was the first time my friends took a snapshot of a KFC~all~chow hand with 5F, so it is now shown in the Hall Of Fame, and i added it to my MahJong Photo Albums. I also put the excerpt on my new anemology5 profile which i was using. Anemology is the study of the wind =:-)
It often seems like i play much better while i'm really stoned. I suspect that being very relaxed and in a happy mood can influence my behaviors and ludic opinions. While i was high on THC i made dinner with Tony. In a little soybean oil we cooked ground beef, refried beans, green bell pepper, fresh tomatoes, zucchini, black olives, diced carrot, minced garlic, chili sauce, cumin, sage, and cayenne. This was served on Jiffy corn bread which was easy to bake while preparing the other ingredients. Then we topped our servings with shredded cheddar cheese and diced green onions. Afterwards we enjoyed mugs of Red Rose tea with brown sugar and soymilk, then had cherry pie for dessert.
Saturday June 3rd at noon i took my usual heap of pills, then refilled the compartments of my weekly planner. Sweet music played on the Radio Elektro[u]nique stream from Limbik Frequencies. A few sailboats and fishing boats were out on the Bay in the sunshine. The parking spaces of North State Street filled up with cars as an estate sale was held at the Crow's Nest condominums across from our apartment building on the cliffs hanging over the sea.
I was listening to the Illinois Street Lounge when i heard Mel Tormé singing "Sunshine Superman". I believe the song was originally by Donovan, but Mel's cover really showed off how fun the 'Velvet Fog' can be-- his range isn't the broadest, but he makes every note seductive and playful.
Sunshine came softly through my a-window today
Could've tripped out easy a-but I've a-changed my ways
It'll take time, I know it but in a while
You're gonna be mine, I know it, we'll do it in style
'Cause I made my mind up you're going to be mine
I'll tell you right now
Any trick in the book now, baby, all that I can find
Everybody's hustlin' just to have a little scene
When I say we'll be cool I think that you know what I mean
We stood on a beach at sunset, do you remember when?
I know a beach where, baby, a-it never ends
When you've made your mind up forever to be mine
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
I'll pick up your hand and slowly blow your little mind
'Cause I made my mind up you're going to be mine
I'll tell you right now
Any trick in the book now, baby, all that I can find
Superman or Green Lantern ain't got a-nothin' on me
I can make like a turtle and dive for your pearls in the sea, yeah!
A you-you-you can just sit there a-thinking on your velvet throne
'bout all the rainbows a-you can a-have for your own
When you've made your mind up forever to be mine
I'll pick up your hand and slowly blow your little mind
When you've made your mind up forever to be mine
I'll pick up your hand
I'll pick up your hand
I also heard a fabulous Brazilian number on The Spirit of KJAZ featuring the vocals of sassy Sarah Vaughan. She always gives me an imaginary smile and wink.
I had insomnia all evening. Saturday night while Tony was sleeping i was really horny so i masturbated for quite a while, then took a long shower. After shaving, brushing my teeth, and washing my glasses i felt so refreshed. When he woke up after midnight (Sunday morning June 4th) he was in the mood to be productive so he went up and down the stairs repeatedly to the laundry room with loads of sheets, towels, curtains, and his clothing. The snail-mail contained statements from my Medicare HMO indicating how many thousands of dollars they'd paid toward my pharmacy bills so far this year, and how many thousands of dollars my physician, laboratory, and respiratory treatments had cost. Sadly this is all status quo, and i'm actually relatively healthy so far during 2006, so i can just imagine how exorbitant the bills will inevitably be when i have more serious AIDS-related issues again. I'd been awake continuously since around noon on Friday, and it was a bit weird to see the arrival of dawn Sunday while still drifting along. It was raining steadily as i put the curtains back in the windows fifty feet above North State Street.
I had a navel orange and peanut butter on toasted whole-grain bread, then i shared a banana with Tony. As the rainy morning grew very foggy we had our usual coffee, and i added some vanilla and spices to the grinds. The Groove Salad stream from SomaFM was a sweet and mellow accompaniment to the spring mists flowing in from the northern Pacific. THC inspired me to bake a pastrami sandwich with Cheddar and Parmesan cheeses, peppers and onions, ketchup, black pepper, and garlic powder; then i added Romaine lettuce when it came out of the oven. Sailboats tooled around Bellingham Bay all day despite the drizzle and occasional banks of fog. Tony napped behind me as i played on my iMac in the evening. When i finally went to sleep after midnight i'd been awake for about two and a half days continuously.
When i got up Monday (June 5th) at 18:15PDT, the eighteen hours of sleep helped me feel much better. I fiddled around on my computer, then made some coffee and ate a banana while listening to luscious and sweet sounds of the Cocteau Twins. I was a few hours late taking my pills, but that's no big deal. Later Tony got up and i baked us some sandwiches with lots of vegetables, cheese, and pastrami, plus we had some carrot sticks, and pickles. An old mix from the BetaLounge archives by Jonah Sharp (SpaceTime Continuum) played on the stereo. Then i listened to Midnight's Children by Saafi Brothers.
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