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2005 January 25th Tuesday 20:53PST - Amplified

On Thursday the 20th, i stayed in bed until about 13:00PST. The mailman delivered my SPEY (Super Premium End of Year) package from Goats.com, which included a fantastic new T-shirt. It sported the logo of the International League Of Pedants ("Accuracy Over Tact"!). In the afternoon, there was a knock at the door: the delivery person from DHL Express. He brought the package which Kenny had sent from Massachusetts: several new porno videos, a couple boxes of my favorite Vermont maple cookies, and a humongous inflatable dildo. The dildo was so large, i was uncertain whether i'd ever be able to handle it up my ass, but i was definitely happy to try.

After thoroughly douching in the evening until my ass was squeaky clean, i played with many toys. I began with the Bronze Silicone Plug (#38). Then i used Kong (#15) for a while. Kenny had given me this Kong dildo a couple years ago, and i was fantasizing about using it on him again, as we'd done on his previous visits. This turned me on, and i progressed to the next fun item: Shawn'sDong (#17). I worked up a sweat while i was bouncing on this fantastic item. It seemed that i grew tired rather soon, and didn't have as much energy as i'd wished, but i continued anyway. The next item i used was Bam (#4), and i really slammed myself forcefully on almost all of his length, really opening myself tremendously. After that, i felt like i could attempt the new jumbo inflatable toy which Kenny had sent.

While it was deflated, i was gradually able to get about ninety percent of it into my ass. It was partially folded and scrunched up, but it still seemed quite huge. When i attempted to inflate it, i was only able to retain about two-thirds of it inside myself, and it kept sliding out as i squeezed the pump and made it grow wider. I enjoyed wrestling with it extensively, until my fingers were tired from trying to manipulate it in my anus, and i was sweating profusely as i rolled around on the sheets, giving it my best effort. When it was fully inflated, it would not stay in my ass, and i finally gave up. But i'll keep trying again on future occasions.

I watched one of the new porno videos from Kenny, Toys4Ass, an extremely hot German erotic production featuring gorgeous models who were as talented as they were beautiful. I retrieved my Inflatable Vibrating Buttplug (#27) from the toybox, worked it all the way into my rectum until it was embedded past the end of the base, and only the hose and cord were hanging out of my ass. When it was fully inflated and the vibrations were at maximum, it was a mind-blowing bit of fun. At the same time, i worked the Bronze Silicone into my ass, and the simultaneous double stretching pushed me over the edge. I orgasmed forcefully, and then pulled the Bronze back out of my super-stretched ass. It was sort of difficult to get the vibrating buttplug to come back out, even after it was deflated, but after a minute i succeeded. Then i slipped the Bronze back into my happy butt, where it stayed put for a while and i took a break. On the stereo, i listened to albums by Emergency Broadcast Network, Orbital, and David Toop.

I rested and watched more porn, then felt like i had the strength to do some more bouncing. So i rode on Shawn'sDong again for a while. Then i took some of my favorite bondage headgear and encased my head in leather, with an inflatable rubber gag stuffed in my mouth until it nearly blocked my throat. Over all the leather straps of the head-harness and locking O-ring gag, i pulled the leather hood tightly, laced it and locked it. Then i put the big Remulak plug (#44) up my ass and masturbated to another orgasm. After removing the buttplug and undoing all the headgear, i took another break. I left the Bronze Silicone up my ass and finished watching Toys4Ass. Then i washed all the dildos in the kitchen sink and put away most of the toys.

I began watching another one of the new videos: Dildo Action Club from Catalina productions. Despite my fatigue, i was still very horny. So i fetched my locking buttplug harness which has a clever arrangement of leather straps and steel buckles, which i used to secure the Purple Silicone Buttplug (#39) up my ass, making it impossible to remove. I wore my raunchy yellow jockstrap over all this, and lied on the bed, wondering whether it would be possible to fall asleep with the smooth toy stuck in my rectum. After viewing several scenes from Dildo Action Club, i turned the VCR and television off, and relaxed in the dark, rubbing my dick and flexing my ass-muscles on the purple toy. Unable to resist my lustful urges, i retrieved the headgear again. A few minutes later, i had the head-harness and inflatable butterfly gag locked over my face again, along with the padded velcro blindfold. I had an old pair of cotton underwear which my friend Jace had given to me years ago: i bunched them up over my face, feeling their softness as i lied there, fantasizing about him and some other old friends. The buttplug felt exquisite, the headgear was holding the gag in place as i choked myself with it, and i squeezed my cock until i orgasmed again, my head spinning in a dreamworld of memories blended with impossible ideas involving so many of the hot men i've known.

After removing the head-harness and gag, i unlocked the buttplug-harness and was finally able to slide the purple buttplug back out of my ass. I cleaned up the toys and was ready to go to sleep on my bed, but i began thinking about Tony who was asleep in his room. I gathered my pillows and a sheet, and went quietly into his quarters, lying down next to him. He awoke, and i told him about what i had been doing, and i described the super hot German video to him. He got a big boner, and slid his yummy uncircumcised cock up my ass. He fucked me sideways until he squirted his cum into me, and it ran out between my ass-cheeks. I fell asleep then for a few hours. I awoke a couple times during the morning, but kept going back to sleep. I remembered part of a dream:

I'm in the back seat of a vehicle, a couple friends are in front, and we are parked at a gas station somewhere near the Fanny Allen Hospital in Colchester, Vermont, next to the cemetery. Another vehicle, a large station-wagon with fake wood paneling, is pulling into the parking lot, and it slides on snow and ice and bangs our car. The damage is not extensive, but i hear a crunching and scraping sound of metal on metal. There are four white guys in the station-wagon, redneck bubbas who are armed. From a distance it appears that they have Massachusetts license plates, white background with red lettering. But up close, i see that they don't have proper plates, instead theirs say something like "Free Men of Montana". They are apparently some kind of separatist gun-toting nutjob survivalists. They laugh at the damage they have caused, and drive away. A police officer arrives, and she is wearing a uniform which looks sort of like the khaki outfits of the California Highway Patrol that i'd seen on television. The policewoman is writing down everyone's statements, and when she starts talking to me and asking me questions, i realize that she is not a stranger. Somehow i recognize her as a friend of my little sister Amanda. I think maybe her name is Carrie, she might be one of the people who went to Milton High School with my little sister. I realize that if i say anything about Amanda or her husband Terry, then this police officer will go back and repeat my words to them. So i decide i must be careful what i say, using tact and avoiding mentioning anything that might be unpleasant. I try to make only polite comments about Amanda and Terry, because i don't want to antagonize them, i don't want gossip to be repeated to them which might be unflattering. I just want to get along with everyone.

I woke up and it was already 14:15PST; most of the daylight was fading away, and the afternoon was quite cloudy. I told Tony about my dream as we snuggled against each other. While i rubbed my ass against his crotch, he got another erection, and began fucking me again. It felt so good having his cock in my ass, there was pre-cum leaking out of the tip of my dick. As i sighed and moaned, he pistoned my hole for a while, until he blew another load of jizz into me, and it ran out over my ass-cheeks again. We wiped up and rose from his bed, then had our coffee. On the stereo, i listened to some old albums by Talking Heads, David Byrne, and Brian Eno, as i spent a while reading, writing, and relaxing.

Although the evening was completely overcast, the clouds were at a high altitude. So i was able to see all the ski areas in British Columbia, as they twinkled between seventy and one hundred kilometers away. The Canadian news had mentioned that the ski resorts were closed for the season already. Apparently, they'd received more than thirty centimeters of rain during the previous few days, and all the snow had been washed away. From our vantage, we could discern that the white glaciers on the mountaintops had receded considerably. The news also told of massive landslides which had destroyed homes, killed residents, and rendered some roads impassable. Fortunately for us, the flooding was not severe down here in the coastal lowlands of Whatcom County. The Nooksack and other local rivers had spilled over their banks in a few places, but it had only affected some pastures and farmland, and none of the residents in this part of Washington had been displaced. This extremely warm wet weather came after our remarkably cold icy spell a couple weeks ago; January is one of the more variable months in this region.

Kenny called Friday night (the 21st) and we had a friendly chat, giving me an opportunity to thank him for all the wonderful presents. Then Tony and i showered and dressed and went out for a late dinner at Shari's in Meridian Village. With Marinol stimulating my appetite, i ate a tremendous amount of fattening food. In addition to a variety of fried appetizers (mozzarella sticks, onion rings, chicken strips, jumbo prawns, and baked potato skins with cheese and barbecued chicken and bacon bits) i had a garlic mushroom swiss cheese bacon burger and seasoned fries. When we arrived home after midnight, i managed to eat some ice cream and cookies.

We were asleep around 05:00PST Saturday morning (the 22nd), and didn't get out of bed until after 16:30PST. After eleven hours of rest, i felt like i'd recovered from the exertion of the previous few days. Although i didn't really do anything terribly strenuous-- certainly nothing that could be described as very "athletic"-- i had been somewhat low on energy. After some coffee, i telephoned the pharmacy and confirmed that five of my prescriptions were ready for me to collect. When i went out to Rite-Aid, i also stopped at Papa Murphy's and picked up a pizza. We baked it while we were watching some videotaped programs. We viewed The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and i noticed that it actually presented more journalistic fact-finding during the course of a few jokes than one could find during an entire evening of watching cable "news" channels. Then we enjoyed Royal Candian Air Farce, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, and Just For Laughs.

I slept until almost 10:00PST on Sunday morning (the 23rd). Then the red helicopter circled around a couple times, disappearing in the direction of the Whatcom Waterway. Some very small birds were hopping and flitting through the tops of the trees along the shore. It seems that they've returned early; i wouldn't expect them until the end of February, but this year's unusually warm weather may have been affecting their migration. Tony and i enjoyed our coffee, then we watched our videotape of Saturday Night Live. At mid-afternoon, Tony took a nap; i spent a long time douching repeatedly, while listening to the fantastic two-disc set of The Altogether by Orbital. Out on the Bay, seven or eight trees had been washed from along the Nooksack River and Whatcom Creek during the recent flooding rains, and were now bobbing on the surface of the sea, carried by the tides toward the shore. This happens occasionally, especially during the winter and early spring. I snacked on some Cascade yogurt, and a Jonagold apple; then later, i had some vegetable juice and some whole-grain crackers with peanut butter. For extra nutrients and minerals, i sipped a big mug of miso broth with dulse, kelp, mirin, ginger, safflower oil, shoyu, lemongrass; and took my usual multivitamins with anti-oxidants.

After many enemas, i took a shower and was squeaky clean. While i finished watching Dildo Action Club, i began playing with some of my toys. My first warm-up item was the Clone (#14). Then i probed a bit more deeply with the Black Rubber Penis Plug (#25). It was fun to slide this all the way in and out as fast as i could handle; the stimulation caused little drops of piss and pre-cum to spatter from the tip of my cock. When i felt ready for some wider stretching, i used Shawn'sDong (#17) for a while. Using his suction-cup base, i stuck him to the smooth fiberglass wall in my shower, and rode him all the way down to his 'scrotum'. This felt so good, it was really turning me on as i gyrated back and forth, engulfing his length, dripping with pleasure. Then i went to the kitchen and brewed a cup of oolong tea, which was tasty and contained a little caffeine. In addition to Marinol and the pharmaceuticals i consume every day, i had a couple extra capsules of yohimbe extract, and also some kava kava.

The next dildo upon which i exercised vigorously was BlackThor (#6). As my ass slid up and down his dark shaft, i savored his veiny, porous, squeezable texture. Oliver Lieb used the name "The Ambush" and recorded an album by that same title. As i listened to this excellent production of entrancing polyrhythmic percussion, electronic melodies, and sparse bits of harmonious voices, i played with Spelunker (#19). After reaming myself in a few positions with these wide rubber dongs, i progressed to the next toy which stuffed me even more: Bam (#4). My black leather four-snap cock-ring and one-snap scrotum-stretcher provided continuous stimulation to my genitals as i had them fastened tightly, making my slightly swollen dick and balls stick out from my trimmed crotch.

While watching another new porno which was a gift from Kenny (Strong-Armed-1), i rolled around atop the old sheets which were covering my bed, probing and pumping my ass with all these different dildos in turn. The next album on the iTunes playlist flowed magically from the stereo-surround speakers: Beaucoup Fish by Underworld; its thunderous, pulsating tunes were perfect accompaniment to my bouncing exertions. The video made me extra horny as i squeezed my penis and humped my ass onto Spelunker, whose suction-cup affixed him to the smooth brown board against the wall behind the bed. A towel was wedged between the board and the wall to prevent any thumping from being heard by our neighbors; i tried to keep my ecstatic cries and moans to a minimal volume. A couple sniffs from a fresh bottle of Rush poppers led me to a burst of enthusiasm. As i slammed my ass down the length of Spelunker and i felt the texture of his surface with the insides of my colon, i had to stop touching my crotch in order to avoid passing the point of no return on the way to an orgasm. However, the dildo hammered my insides and forced ejaculatory fluids to squirt from my cock. One, two, three blobs landed on the sheets; i froze, trying to remain motionless and refraining from a climax.

I slid myself off the dildo, scooped up the white gobs with a few fingers and tasted my snooge. It was warm and slippery on my tongue, familiar yet always varying from one day to the next. I caught my breath for a minute as i marveled at the talented performers in the porn. When i felt that i had the energy to bounce rapidly again, i squatted over Bam and carefully, luxuriously, intently stuffed him up my ass. Concentrating on deep breathing and gently flexing joints and muscles all over my body as i did a strange charmed dance in that spot, i wriggled in time with the music, making my motions smaller and smaller until i was nearly holding still.

Carefully inhaling a deep whiff from the bottle of poppers as i balanced in this squatting position, i closed my eyes, then twisted the cap closed again. Reaching around behind myself with my left hand, i gripped Bam's big base against the bed, and wrapped the fingers of my right hand around my genitalia. Starting with only tiny movements, i rocked and bounced to the rhythms swirling around me. In the darkness of my imagination, i was touching my mind to the teledildonic spirits of many friends: Pasha, Kenny, Tony, that Brian, Shawn, Josh, that other Brian, and so many more. Crowds of past and present lovers danced and sang powerfully in my daydream, while i pumped a bit faster, gradually accelerating my thrusts up and down the tremendously thick purplish-brown toy. Swooning with lust, tripping on cannabinoids and herbs from around the globe, i felt the climax returning. It had been less than ten minutes since the first blobs, but i knew much more was ready to erupt.

"Shudder/King of Snake" was Underworld's song pulsing from the loudspeakers as the sexy male vocalist spit out the lyrics; the artists were Karl Hyde, Darren Emerson, and Richard Smith, trance producers extraordinaire. Jaw clenched but lips open, eyes squinched shut in a crazed grimace of dionysian triumph, i hopped and hammered Bam into myself, trying to reach some inner point which ignited in an imaginary explosion of shocks and squirts. Groaning to the rhythm of my deep thrusts, i squeezed my dick and felt the ejaculation bursting forth as though from a multitude of overjoyed sparkling areas inside my body. Although intensely focused, i can't really describe what i was thinking, because my thoughts were irrational despite their clarity. The sensations were heightened by good chemistry and amplified by a fabulous mood, and i realized that another half-dozen squirts of semen had launched from my cock, landing on the damp sheets in front of me.

I wrenched myself off Bam with a whimper, and quickly unsnapped the leather straps around my cock and balls. Collapsing with exhaustion and satisfaction, i smeared my face against the cum, licking some up as i slurped and panted, feeling my heartbeat gradually descending from its crescendo. When i'd had a couple minutes to recover my senses, i took the Black Rubber Penis Plug (#25) and slid it all the way back into my happy ass. Then i put on my raunchy yellow jockstrap. Sitting on a paper towel atop an old terrycloth beach towel, i parked myself in the chair at my desk and typed this description of the exquisite toys and excited activities which had so fantastically aligned on this magical evening.

Although much of my enthusiasm could be ascribed to caffeine and other drugs, i felt that my energetic state was mainly a result of my healthy frame of mind and an exceptionally strong physical state on this night. These little episodes seem to be quite few and far between, whereas a decade ago i was always this energetic. Now that i'm thirty-four years old and i've been coping with the AIDS virus since before i turned twenty, i often find myself whistfully wishing for those powers of my youth. In my greedy fashion arising from lust for these most cherished parts of my life, it seems that i'm always longing for more hours of sex, more days of exercise. But despite the vast gap between my wishes and my actual successes, i am very content. I am happy to yearn.

Exhausted but still purring, i washed all my toys in the kitchen sink. I had wrung every possible bit of physical activity from the weekend. It was with great satisfaction that i'd spent all my stamina, engaged in these dildonic passions. Dubnobasswithmyheadman was the next album by Underworld which i heard as i lied down to sleep. It was just past midnight, and i drifted away to dreamworlds while fantasizing whimsically of sexy men who were the friendliest fuckers, fisters, and wizards of teledildonix.

After a brief nap, i awoke and found that i was still horny. I decided to play with the Inflatable Vibrating Buttplug (#27) once again. Casually lounging on the bed, i lubed its stretchable rubber surface and slipped it into my ass. As i expanded and deflated it repeatedly, i also toyed with the adjustable speed dial, enjoying the different sensations as it shook at various rates. Masturbating and daydreaming, high and happy, i paused and went back to the toybox to retrieve the Black Rubber Penis Plug. Carefully working its tip in alongside the deflated vibrator, i was able to achieve this double penetration that i love so much. When i re-inflated the vibrator and cranked it up again, the stimulation was intense, and i soon ejaculated again. Immediately, i had to deflate and deactivate the vibrator, as it was so overwhelming. Then i slid the Penis Plug back out, and then removed the deflated buttplug. As i washed my toys, i chatted with Tony. We had some snacks, including more of the maple cookies which Kenny had sent us.

Tony retired to his room and watched some television, while i twiddled on my iMac. When i was ready to go back to sleep, i lied down with him on his bed. We slept all morning, and his snoring awoke me a few times. I didn't get up until 15:14PST-- i looked at the clock and saw that the time was "Pi" (3.14). As Tony continued to snooze, i made my coffee, took my medications, and then watched the Bay. The long angled beams of diminishing daylight made a lovely ambiance as the sun was setting beyond the southwest corner of our building, behind the San Juan Islands. In a few weeks, it would be high enough to clear the edge of the roof in the afternoons again. I watched a tugboat drag a huge barge in front of South Hill, and then they turned one hundred eighty degrees and floated backwards into the shipping channel, coming to a stop at the international pier. I listened to a delightful album by Pizzicato Five: The Fifth Release From Matador.

After dark, i borrowed Tony's truck and drove to the Haggen at Barkley Village to check their sushi. It was already mostly picked over (just after 7p.m.) so i departed empty-handed and went to the Haggen in Sehome Village instead. Their sushi selection was excellent, so i chose some raw tuna and a variety of nigiri rolls with shellfish, roe, inari, and vegetables. While i was in their Asian Express, i selected a couple vegetable egg rolls, a couple pork egg rolls, and some deep-fried boneless chicken with sweet and sour sauce. Then i went to the deli and found a couple of twice-baked stuffed potatoes with cheddar, parmesan, and bacon bits. They also had some lovely meat loaf, so i took a couple pounds with traditional tomato sauce topping and a couple pounds with carmelized onions. Obviously my dietary choices are influenced by the drugs i take.

I brought everything home to share with Tony. I ate my egg rolls and some chicken, but then i felt rather ill and too tired to eat any more, so i saved everything in the refrigerator for later. I took some more marinol and watched television with Tony. We enjoyed a new episode of Rick Mercer's Monday Report. Then we viewed our videotape of Malcolm In The Middle. After that, i felt like eating again, so i had half of the sushi. Then we lied down on my bed, and i was so exhausted, i fell asleep quite early. Several times, i was awakened by cramps in my feet; i also noticed the bruises from Erythema Nodosum were becoming more pronounced again. There might now be permanent discoloration of some regions near my toes and ankles, where the capillaries have broken so many times.

I woke up around noon on Tuesday the 25th, and called the Respiratory Therapy department at Saint Joseph's Hospital to confirm i'd be in for my Pentamadine that afternoon. I brewed a pot of coffee and added some Pasano's sugar-free raspberry syrup. As i slowly woke up and the caffeine worked its magic, i took my medications, read my e-mail, and browsed some webcomics. Then i took a shower; while in front of the bathroom mirror, i noticed that my skin was becoming irrirated above my right eye again, but it didn't seem severe enough to warrant the application of the Triamcinalone steroids. I also found that a half-dozen blemishes on my right leg were persisting, although they did not seem to be quite the same as the splotches caused by E Nodosum. I've become accustomed to my body's gradually increasing decrepitude, and it doesn't bother me so much anymore. Perhaps this is how my elderly relatives have been feeling during their seventies and eighties.

After i got dressed in a clean pair of jeans and my new International League of Pedants T-shirt, i drove to the PeaceHealth facilities and spent a while inhaling my monthly aerosolized antibiotics. I counted as i sucked on the ventilation tube: one hundred seventy-eight breaths in twenty-one minutes, until the last traces of aqueous solution had been misted into my lungs. The nauseating taste lingered after i departed and drove home, so i brushed my teeth again. Then i took some Marinol and it made me hungry; i took one of the twice-baked potatoes from the fridge, plus a couple slabs from the meatloaves, heated them in a pan in the oven, and had some lunch after 4:20p.m., while the sun was setting.



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