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2004 August 25th Wednesday 17:51PDT - Originality

Monday night, i spoke with Kenny on the phone, when he returned to Boston after his week in Dallas. It was nice to hear him again. Then Tony got up from his nap, and we had a good laugh when he showed me an excerpt from the diary of Evelyn Waugh. I listened to Macro Dub Infection, volumes I and II as i spent time online. As i sat near the window, i saw the occasional headlamp of a train near the mouth of the Nooksack River. The lights on the barge at the pier and all the other glitter of the buildings in Squalicum Harbor were visible along the waterfront of the city. The air was too cloudy for me to be able to see the lights of the ski resorts in British Columbia, nor even the transmission towers atop Orca's Island. Despite the reduced visibility, i do love the way this weather feels, with the occasional afternoon sprinkles and morning fog.

I lied down on Tony's bed relatively early, and slept for a long time. Late Tuesday morning, i got up and made coffee, took a shower, made phone calls to schedule future medical appointments and referrals, then went out to do my errands. I went to the Post Office downtown and mailed a CD to Kelly. I went to the Bellingham Grocery Outlet and bought lots of soda pop and a few snacks. I went to Rite-Aid and picked up five prescription medications. I went to Saint Joseph's Hospital for my monthly visit to Respiratory Therapy. The pressurized medical air tube accidentally popped off the aerosolization equipment twice while i was getting the Pentamadine sprayed into my lungs, but i was able to reattach it easily enough, and completed the therapy in the usual amount of time. Then i went to the CostCutter supermarket in Sunset Square and found some dairy products, and some Melitta #6 cone filters to fit my coffee-making funnel equipment. (Everybody else that i know seems to use an automatic coffee-maker; i am apparently one of the very few people around here who prefers the old 'manually pour the water through the filter oneself' technique.) Then i drove to Arby's and picked up some lunch for Tony and myself. I brought everything home, unloaded all the groceries from the truck, carrying everything in several trips up the stairs as the rain continued to fall heavily, and found that Tony was making a salad.

The Pentamadine makes me extra nauseous, although i'm not sure whether there's a psychosomatic element to the situation, or if it's purely an issue of aftertaste when the mist has finished coating my lungs. A piece of sugarless chewing gum quickly masked the flavor, and i took Marinol as soon as i got home. Then i actually had an appetite for all the fast food. After we enjoyed our meal, Tony lied on my bed with the intention of watching some television. He had been awake since the previous night, so he was tired, and was soon snoring behind me as i sat at my desk.

The rain and clouds blanketed the city in the evening, and the sun was unseen as it set. Sporadic showers continued to spray against the window occasionally, and there were few vessels travelling across the Bay. The gigantic Horizon Expedition had returned to Bellingham, and once again was moored at the pier near Georgia-Pacific's property. It's a massive ship which had been in this harbor for repairs a few months ago. I wondered whether they returned because the previous work had been shoddy, or whether this was just routine scheduled maintenance. It dominates our section of the waterfront, tall as a ten-story building, and it is supposedly the maximum size for a cargo ship which can squeeze through the Panama Canal, or so i've been told. It had been sold to the Carlyle Group, the cabal which is run partly by the Bushes and Bin Ladens, among other nefarious supervillains.

Tony took a nap for a few hours on my bed, then he woke up and we watched our videotape: The Venture Brothers, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. At 05:00PDT, while it was still dark except for the city's lights reflecting on the Bay, i went to bed. I woke up at 11:00PDT, and Tony was still next to me, watching television. I made coffee with organic almond extract, vanillin, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, star anise, and nutmeg. I played 3Fan Mah Jong with some buddies for much of the early afternoon. The mist and rainshowers continued sporadically, and the soft grey light was soothing. I rearranged the positions of various images and links on my webpages; nothing was deleted, i merely moved things around. I listened to Andrea Parker, Photek, and Melting Euphoria.

I got a headache in the mid-afternoon, despite my dose of Marinol, and didn't feel like eating. But i was unworried, because i had certainly consumed enough calories during the previous couple days. I spent some time writing, editing a blend of fictional ideas and real memories, trying to make pieces of a story fit together. Every once in a while, i would stop and just watch the G-Force Visualizer for iTunes, as this felt relaxing, and i enjoyed seeing images by Stevee Postman blended into the musical patterns. His beautiful artwork reminded me of some of the emotions and impressions of past psychedelic experiences, transcendent times i had spent with Shawn, with Tony, or by myself. I admire his talent. When presented with inspirational masterpieces by people like Stevee, Susan Seddon Boulet, and the musicians who bring joy and ecstasy into my life, it often makes me wonder whether i could have any ability which might be developed to such an extent. I question whether i've ever been at all creative, or whether i have mostly been reacting to my environment rather than inventing myself with any originality.



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