"Jack's Exciting Adventure"

T'was in the year two thousand ten
or thereabouts
We were riding out on a jolly vacation
with faither and mither
Of course we were only boys
my brothers and I
We watched a video
to help the time go by

By jingo that was fun
There in the station wagon
Wot a ripping yarn

I came across the file the other day
Now that I'm retired nothing much happens to me

Jack's Exciting Adventure
He's one of the wonder boys
On the trial of pirate treasure
with all of the bestest toys

Yo, ho, ho, Shiver me timbers
We sail the main tonight
Let all the ladies lock their doors
and good people shake in fright

From Genoa to Montego Bay
There's nowhere a greater sight
then the clever and crafty pirate Jack

Yo, ho, ho blow the man down
Hoist the Jolly Roger high
Tell the citizens of every town
to surrender their gold or die

Follow me boys, all ye who be brave ,
there's no better life says I,
then with the clever and crafty pirate Jack

Each time I am caught
I act so distraught
and offer to retire

For, you understand
o'er sea or on the land
there's no greater lier

They sent me to the gallows
a dozen times or more
each time I was resurrected
even greater then before

For the judge he is no fool
He likes his jelly roll
and the hangman's hood is black
yes, it's black as coal
but not as black as my soul

Jack's Exciting Adventure
He's one of the wonder boys
On the trial of pirate treasure
with all of the bestest toys

I recline in silk and sable
and dine from plate of gold
I have everything I want
Everything can be sold

I wink and smile and they can't resist
Countless women I have kissed
In the fog and in the mist
we sport and play

I make love to them
and in the morning I'm on my way
Here's a little secret then
They like me better that way.

For the world loves a rascal
He's the one who charms
The banker in his high estate
The madmen in the funny farms

And the world loves a winner
and cares not how he wins
Let the virgins count my virtues
Let the angels count my sins

Citizens rejoice
I hear your voice
and do what you don't dare
Aye, thar's a biddle divil there
But you don't really care
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Citizens, come now
Farmer leave your plow
A new world is about to dawn
Work is done, the parties on
Good times will be had by everyone
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Jack's Exciting Adventure
He's one of the wonder boys
On the trial of pirate treasure
with all of the bestest toys

Well. well, well Well I grow old
That was a tale That was well told
with lots of killing action and lot's of fun
Too bad, I guess That now it's done

You who hear this song
Do you really think
All that's gold does glitter
or all that rots does stink?

Outside the air is dark
And ninety nine degrees
I'm covered here in blankets
yet I can't help but freeze

You love le' raconteur
One with more then he needs
better a heart of solid stone
then a pitifull one that bleeds

So ever the pirates among us
are captured and then set free
For the devil he whispers in your mind
"You're no better then me"

Jack's Exciting Adventure
He's one of the wonder boys
On the trial of pirate treasure
with all of the bestest toys