Guest Blogger Bird



In an effort to save my sanity this week, I've handed the blog reins over to a friend, name withheld to protect the snarky.

"What Were They Thinking?"

OK, in the aftermath of the great Snapple disaster of 2005 in New York City , my mind has turned to weighty thoughts about good intentions gone horribly astray.

Specifically, how big a favor are you doing a new writer when you compare them to a big gun author?

Let's go to the Land of Make Believe with our two authors--fictional ones just to protect both the innocent and the guilty. Susie Newbie's first book has just hit the stands. In the initial buzz of interest, since it is a pretty gosh darn good book, eager reviewers try to give it a shortcut boost to success by saying "Newbie's book is just like the books written by Ima Cultural Icon."

Sounds good at first but it has more ways to backfire than a Plymouth with a wonky carburetor. I'll spell out the ones that leap to my mind. I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader to expound on the straggler blunders that showed up after I wrapped up this little note.

First, why are you assuming that I am a fan of Icon and her work? If I am, that's fine. I might stroll down to the local book hyper-mega-mini-mart for a latte, a roast free-range-beef sandwich on artisan rye, a how to teach yourself to juggle kit, and, oh yeah, a copy of Newbie's book.

But wait, there's more. You knew that. Wipe that smug look off your face.

If I don't like Icon's books, you have just damned the innocent Ms. Newbie with your oh-so- faint praise. If I wouldn't touch an Icon book with a ten-foot Handy Dandy Eensy Weensy Booklight®, there's no way that I am going to be motivated to try out the Newbie until giant popsicles spontaneously freeze in Manhattan in June. I'll stay home and deny the book hyper-mega-mini-mart my hard earned cash and pull one of my old faves by Sheez Neverletmedown off the shelf. Poor Newbie! Stabbed in the back by the well-meaning.

Second, when you tell me that the Newbie is just like the Icon, what are you telling me if I've never even read an Icon? Zip, nada, zilch, the big goose egg, nil, zero, nothing. I read a lot but even I can't read everything. "This book is just as good as the tenth volume of Buck Broadshoulders's Boondoggle in Botswana." Comprehension fades. Relevance lost. Eyes glazing over. Help me! Mommy!

How about a real recommendation? "Newbie's book touched me. I loved riding along with a heroine that I couldn't stop rooting for. This book is a tour-de-force of the {Insert favorite here} genre. Polly Protagonist didn't just sit there waiting for Linc Loveinterest to save the day. She kicked butt, took names, and saved them both as well as the planet from the highly personalized yet still bent on world-domination schemes of the I-love-to-hate-her Vera Vile. I couldn't put this book down because of the depth of emotion shown by all the characters and the breadth of a plot that included disarming the warheads of ICBMs in space and saving a cute tabby kitten from a tree. And that wasn't even the climax! I was on the edge of my seat until this book knocked me off it. I loved this book and I think you ought to look for it next time you leave your own book-lined suburban cave."

THAT'S heap-big praise!

Now, tell me. You can be honest. What ARE you thinking? Yeah, obviously I was going for the laugh but what ELSE are you thinking?

Yours truly,

A Little Bird on Tambo's Shoulder

Posted: Wed - June 22, 2005 at 03:15 PM         |

©