A need and desire for privacy
In the 1970's Harry Chapin rose to fame
as a composer/singer. Many of you will recall his song
Cat's in the
Cradle. On one of his
albums was another some entitled
Changes.
Part of the refrain says, And
all those changes keep on changing, and the good old days they say they're gone,
but sometimes I think that only changes going on are the changes going on in
me.
As we age we have a tendency to speak of "the good old days" when things were "better". I've always been cautions not to get into that mode of thinking for I think it cheats me out of seeing the beauty of today and the special quality of this moment. Just the same, things do change around us as well as within us
In the late 1940's I recall the street where my family lived. In the summertime parents and grand-parents gathered on their front porches as the children played in the yards. inside those houses there were no television sets. The absence of television created a different social atmosphere.
While those of all ages had the opportunity to exchange thoughts with their peers, I remember another part of the evening. After the children were called in and readied for sweet dreams things changes, at least in my home.
My bedroom was on the west side of the house and I recall lying in my bed looking out the window to the back yard. Once the sun had slipped completely over the horizon my father could be found sitting alone in the darkness. he had had his visit out on the front porch, had gone over the topics of the day, now it was his time to be alone.
From this perspective in my life, I believe he spent those hours sorting things out, reflecting on his life - thinking about his place in this world. What is important to me is that i know he had a need and a desire for privacy. I've written previously about seeing him from my upstairs window at night in another house. There also he sat, in the same lawn chair with Miss Melody, our cat, on his lap. Sorting things out.
Perhaps some would call his time of "sorting" a time of meditation. One of our books contains a photograph of a bearded man in a white robe who is sitting across legged meditating in the middle of a busy Los Angeles street. Beneath this photograph are the words,
Peace in the midst of life's confusions and the expression of that peace in our everyday lives. Each of us has a need for privacy and I believe we all desire it.
When we first moved to our home nearly a quarter of a century ago we found ourselves in a busy place. Do you recall what downtown El Dorado Springs was like twenty-five years ago? There were three grocery stores; two family clothing stores; two dress shops; a full line variety store; three barber shops; two auto supply stored; two full line pharmacies with counters (who will ever forget the unbelievable milk shakes and malts which were served there?); two hotels (yes, the Wayside Inn was still open and rented by the night and by the week); a full line appliance store; a real estate agency; four insurance agencies; a laundromat; two restaurants; John and Walt Smith's weekly newspaper; and of course, the only bank in town.
Of the businesses currently in the original business district of El Dorado Springs only five were here when we moved here and only two of them, Jackson's Western Auto and Rabe's Furniture are still in business under the same family ownership. All those changes keep on changing.
When we first arrived on the scene I would assume that in any given week nearly everyone in El Dorado Springs and the rural area made it to this original business district at least once a week. Parking spaces were dear and hard to come by.
Therefore, if Diana and I had had a great need and desire to live in privacy, this certainly wasn't the place for us to locate. Moving here from rural El Dorado Springs proved to be an exciting experience. Wow, what went on night and day downtown in those days was pretty entertaining! We loved being in the midst of the hustle and bustle. It was like having the excitement of a large city flavored with the quaintness of a small town.
Nearly a quarter of a century later, things have changed. Fewer businesses are here; you can always find a parking space and with few exceptions do you find any crowds. So privacy, if needed or desired, is easier to come by these days.
In truth, of course, privacy is not something granted to you by another person, nor does any person have the ability to withdraw your privacy. Privacy is found within you. You must seep it in your day; on one gives it to you, no one takes it away from you.
Sometimes I think the only changes going on are the changes going on in me.
--Harry Chapin
As we age we have a tendency to speak of "the good old days" when things were "better". I've always been cautions not to get into that mode of thinking for I think it cheats me out of seeing the beauty of today and the special quality of this moment. Just the same, things do change around us as well as within us
In the late 1940's I recall the street where my family lived. In the summertime parents and grand-parents gathered on their front porches as the children played in the yards. inside those houses there were no television sets. The absence of television created a different social atmosphere.
While those of all ages had the opportunity to exchange thoughts with their peers, I remember another part of the evening. After the children were called in and readied for sweet dreams things changes, at least in my home.
My bedroom was on the west side of the house and I recall lying in my bed looking out the window to the back yard. Once the sun had slipped completely over the horizon my father could be found sitting alone in the darkness. he had had his visit out on the front porch, had gone over the topics of the day, now it was his time to be alone.
From this perspective in my life, I believe he spent those hours sorting things out, reflecting on his life - thinking about his place in this world. What is important to me is that i know he had a need and a desire for privacy. I've written previously about seeing him from my upstairs window at night in another house. There also he sat, in the same lawn chair with Miss Melody, our cat, on his lap. Sorting things out.
Perhaps some would call his time of "sorting" a time of meditation. One of our books contains a photograph of a bearded man in a white robe who is sitting across legged meditating in the middle of a busy Los Angeles street. Beneath this photograph are the words,
Peace in the midst of life's confusions and the expression of that peace in our everyday lives. Each of us has a need for privacy and I believe we all desire it.
When we first moved to our home nearly a quarter of a century ago we found ourselves in a busy place. Do you recall what downtown El Dorado Springs was like twenty-five years ago? There were three grocery stores; two family clothing stores; two dress shops; a full line variety store; three barber shops; two auto supply stored; two full line pharmacies with counters (who will ever forget the unbelievable milk shakes and malts which were served there?); two hotels (yes, the Wayside Inn was still open and rented by the night and by the week); a full line appliance store; a real estate agency; four insurance agencies; a laundromat; two restaurants; John and Walt Smith's weekly newspaper; and of course, the only bank in town.
Of the businesses currently in the original business district of El Dorado Springs only five were here when we moved here and only two of them, Jackson's Western Auto and Rabe's Furniture are still in business under the same family ownership. All those changes keep on changing.
When we first arrived on the scene I would assume that in any given week nearly everyone in El Dorado Springs and the rural area made it to this original business district at least once a week. Parking spaces were dear and hard to come by.
Therefore, if Diana and I had had a great need and desire to live in privacy, this certainly wasn't the place for us to locate. Moving here from rural El Dorado Springs proved to be an exciting experience. Wow, what went on night and day downtown in those days was pretty entertaining! We loved being in the midst of the hustle and bustle. It was like having the excitement of a large city flavored with the quaintness of a small town.
Nearly a quarter of a century later, things have changed. Fewer businesses are here; you can always find a parking space and with few exceptions do you find any crowds. So privacy, if needed or desired, is easier to come by these days.
In truth, of course, privacy is not something granted to you by another person, nor does any person have the ability to withdraw your privacy. Privacy is found within you. You must seep it in your day; on one gives it to you, no one takes it away from you.
Sometimes I think the only changes going on are the changes going on in me.
--Harry Chapin
Posted: Thu - January 5, 2006 at 06:56 PM
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"Chance favors only the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur
"Art arises from basic needs-a strong need to express and celebrate our everyday events.
In a museum most people spend less than twenty seconds looking at a work of art."
"Art arises from basic needs-a strong need to express and celebrate our everyday events.
In a museum most people spend less than twenty seconds looking at a work of art."
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Published On: Jan 05, 2006 06:57 PM
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Published On: Jan 05, 2006 06:57 PM