The Easy Way 



A few months before our son was born we moved to a new house. We were excited about getting it fixed just right. The nursery was a priority to us and involved purchasing all the furniture and items necessary to make "his" room just perfect.

Along with that room we were setting the rest of the house in order. Among the things I had when we got married was a decorative corner screen for the living room. It was living worn with use, so we decided to refinish it.

My father-in-law had a large shop with many tools and much knowledge acquired through many years of home remodeling, so I knew the perfect place to take the screen was to his house!

We came to visit over the July 4th holiday. The screen was taken to the patio and Diana and I began to remove the old finish. We didn't ask advice, as we didn't want to interrupt his planned project of the weekend. We simply got the materials we thought would accomplish what we wanted to do and went to work.

My father-in-law made several trips from the shop to the house. He never said anything, just kelp looking over at us as we worked. Finally, after about an hour, he stopped and asked, "Would you like an easier way to do that?" Our reply was a resounding "yes" as we weren't getting anywhere too fast with the method we were using.

He said for us to come to the shop and he'd see what he had. At his work bench he found two tools and demonstrated what to do with them. We went back to work and in a very short time, with the right tools, we were finished with our job.

I have often thought of that incident over the past thirty years. I remember thinking at the time, "Well, if there was a easier way, why didn't he say something sooner!" I let go of that thought rather quickly at the time, but have returned to it many times.

Prior to going to work we could have asked his advice. We didn't do this because he had something he was working on and we knew he wanted to get it finished that weekend.

He knew what we were planning to do while we were there and he could have suggested the best way, the easy way to accomplish our project. But he didn't.

Over the many wonderful years that I was able to share with this man I learned that he often would do things in the way he did that July 4th weekend long ago. I came to believe that it was his way of being a good teacher. We were allowed to think about our task, then set about to do it in the manner which we thought would be most effective, and then he would offer us a hint about an easier way to do the job.

I learned to appreciate that about him. He allowed us to learn from our experiences. We need to go about the job sometimes from a challenging approach. if you never know that approach, you just might not appreciated being able to do the job an easier way.

His method also had another benefit. As time went along, we began to question our approach, our plan. We began to ask ourselves what might be the easier way to do the job at hand.

I believe that is the lesson he really wanted to teach us. He wanted us to think through the task on our own. He wanted us to develop our abilities and to be more independent.

To be sure, he was always there and we are certain that he enjoyed offering advice and lending a hand when needed.

Several years later we built a greenhouse. By this time I had become somewhat more skilled in ability and had learned the lessons which he had taught. We mixed our concrete footing, place the anchor bolts, built the walls and set them in place. We patched the used fiberglass panels which he had found for us, cut them and nailed them to our newly painted studs. We put in the windows and hung the door. We did it ourselves. But without a doubt he had helped us gain both the experience and confidence needed to do the job the easy way.

My father-in-law was a wise teacher. He knew that sometimes the difficult approach to problem solving becomes the best way to find the easy solution.

(written August 12, 1999) 

Posted: Thu - December 29, 2005 at 06:32 PM        

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