A Companion, A Friend 



We recently added Tuesdays With Morrie to our video library. The movie stars Jack Lemmon portraying Morrie Schwartz. It is based on the true-life story of Schwartz, a professor dying of ALS. There are many lessons which Schwartz teaches but two of them resonate truths which I have come to know in the past seven months. Morrie says, "When you know how to die, you know how to live." And at one point in the movie he notes that you must give to your community.

On December 10, 2003 I celebrated my 61st birthday. Diana, Parrish, and Bonnie were there in the hospital room. Diana's cousin Gary came to see me on his lunch hour. My dear friend Louis drove through the snow to visit. So much love gathered in that room. Also that morning two men in "white jackets" so to speak paid their respects. They delivered their gifts of chemotherapy and death. I found it impossible to accept either of their offerings.

I did have to look at them however. I had to face them. I had to understand them. Finally everyone left the hospital for the day. I was alone with Barnaby the Bear and my morphine pump. I asked myself what I was to do to make the doctor's announcement of death acceptable to Diana. I saw no answer. I asked how can I leave something that will fill her life for the next 25-30 years or more? I saw no answer. Diana has never worked outside her home. She loves it and she loves to care for her family. She is a very private person who has always had unconditional love for those about her. So how could I supply her in my absence? No answer came. I then asked what does Diana love besides her home and family? That was when our beautiful companion deCoucy spoke to me. I saw his devoted face, felt his warm, large body in my arms and he said, "My Woman Dog loves animals." Yes. Oh yes. It was on that evening that I began formulating my plan.

I did not understand then that I had taken the first step in knowing how to die. Nor did I know that my thoughts were moving me to an understanding of how to live. One of the great lessons which Diana and I have come to learn in the passing of these "interesting" months is that we must give to our beloved community from which we have received so much in the past 25 years. And that is what our focus together will be in our years ahead. How blessed we were to have been able to share ten wonderful years with deCoucy. He changed our lives completely. For those who have had such a relationship, you understand what we feel. He was our companion. He was our friend. He was All.

 
Death ends a life, not a relationship.
- Morrie Schwartz






deCoucy
August 25, 1993 - July 26, 2003 
 

Posted: Mon - July 26, 2004 at 06:40 AM        

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