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(sung/said to the tune of "The Christmas Song")

Chipmunks roasting in a forest fire
Smoke fumes seeping through the door
Siren blare, as the firemen fly
And air so dense I'm on the floor.

Everybody knows, a dry leaf and a cigarette
Helps to make the forest bright,
Tater tots, in my fridge are aglow
I doubt that I will sleep tonight

I know that help is on its way
They'll find me fast and get me out far, far away.
But here the air's so thick, I wonder why.
You see my house has caught and I'm going to fry.

And so I'm offering this simple prayer
To God to help and see me through.
If He don't, then you'll know that I've died,
Merry Christmas to you!