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Here are some things I'd like you to know about my ministry and role as a wedding officiant.
My ministry is to all people—you don't need to be of my religious tradition to request my services. You are encouraged to participate in planning your wedding ceremony. I will give you a copy of my wedding planning guide. It includes many choices of readings, vows and prayers. You may choose those which best convey your deepest feelings and beliefs. You are also welcome to suggest ideas of your own. Together, we'll create a beautiful and memorable wedding ceremony. I will give you a bound copy of your unique ceremony following the wedding.
Weddings are about relationships--that's why it's important for us to spend time together before your wedding day. Your ceremony will be more personal if we know one another. And our relationship can continue as long as you like. Many couples stay in touch with me after their wedding. I enjoy seeing photos of their babies, ministering to them in times of need, and officiating when they decide to renew their wedding vows.
Just to let you know something about me...I married my wife, Susan, in 1972. We have two grown children. I was ordained to the Christian ministry in 1976, after completing college (B.S.), graduate school (M.A.), and theological seminary (M.Div.). For eight years I served as a campus minister, first at Colorado State University, then at Western Washington University. I moved to San Diego in 1984, established a marriage and family counseling practice, and founded the Center for Marriage, which provides counseling, educational programs and referrals for couples. In addition to my counseling ministry, I am active in church leadership. Several years ago I served (part-time) as Minister of Pioneer Church in San Diego (now Pioneer Ocean View Church after merging with another congregation). If you are looking for a wedding site, the church has a contemporary chapel with walled garden and an outdoor hilltop site with a panoramic view of Mission Bay and the Pacific Ocean. For information go to Weddings at Bay Vista.
My religious tradition is called the United Church of Christ (UCC). The roots of the UCC go back to the Mayflower and the Pilgrims who came to America in 1620, seeking religious freedom. The early Congregationalists, as they were called, were independent-minded people; they gave birth to Constitutional liberty in this country. They were also strong believers in education, establishing many colleges; Harvard was the first Congregational college. Over the years, the Congregational Church merged with other like-minded Christian denominations, eventually becoming the United Church of Christ in 1957. The UCC has a rich tradition of freethinking, seeking unity within diversity, and expressing faith through commitment to peace and social justice.
More information is provided below. If you have questions, or would like to meet, please give me a call at (858) 755-3519 or e-mail me at meineke@centerformarriage.com.
Fees and Services
Fees and Services
Fees for weddings
and premarital counseling are based on the amount of time required to
provide those services. Special arrangements are possible in cases of
financial hardship.
Wedding Ceremony
This service includes time for us to meet and get acquainted (usually two 90 minute meetings); a printed guide to help you plan your ceremony; consultation time to work out the details of your ceremony; preparation of a printed and bound copy of your ceremony; travel to and from your wedding site; and time spent at your wedding site. The fee for this service is five hundred dollars.
Fees may be higher if the ceremony site is more than 25 miles away or if your ceremony requires more than the typical amount of planning time. This fee may also be reduced if your wedding requires less than the typical amount of time.
Premarital Counseling
As an ordained minister and licensed marriage and family therapist, I want to help couples get the best possible start in their married lives. Your wedding celebration will be over in a day, but your marriage relationship is meant to last a lifetime. Studies demonstrate that premarital counseling can improve communication and reduce the chances of divorce. I have been providing premarital counseling to couples for over 30 years and use the most thoroughly proven methods. If you would like premarital counseling, I would be happy to provide it. New insights and skills will help you build a happy and lasting marriage.
Premarital counseling includes four 90 minute sessions, a computer scored questionnaire, and a follow up session six months after the wedding. Premarital counseling is for couples of all ages and marital histories. The fee for premarital counseling alone is six hundred dollars (plus thirty dollars for test scoring); however, if you would like me to provide premarital counseling and perform your wedding ceremony, the combined fee for both services is eight hundred fifty dollars (plus thirty dollars for test scoring). I hope this significant discount encourages more couples to prepare for their marriage, not just for their wedding.
Questions and Answers
Questions and Answers
What do we need to do to make our marriage legal?
You must get a California Marriage License from the office of the San Diego Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk (up to 90 days before the wedding). Bring your license to the wedding. To learn more about license requirements, contact the office of the San Diego Assessor/Recorder/County Clerk: San Diego (619) 237-0502, San Marcos (760) 940-6868, Kearny Mesa (858) 505-6262, Chula Vista (619) 498-2200, El Cajon (619) 401-5700.
What is the legal responsibility of the minister?
Although the primary role of the minister is spiritual rather than legal, I will need to sign your marriage license and return it to the San Diego Recorder/County Clerk for processing. A few weeks after the wedding, you may request a certified copy of your license, just to make sure it was properly recorded; certified copies are available from the San Diego Recorder/County Clerk. Call the information line for details.
We just want a simple ceremony. Why do we need to meet twice before the wedding?
Weddings are about relationships. I am only comfortable performing a wedding if I have a relationship with the bride and groom. Meeting with you gives me an opportunity to know you. Our conversations will also give you the opportunity to know me as someone who cares about your marriage, not just your wedding ceremony.
I would like the ceremony to be meaningful for you. Because we may not share the same religious backgrounds, I need your input. Our conversations and the ceremony planning guide make it possible to create a ceremony which reflects your deepest feelings, beliefs and commitments.
Why do clergy charge fees to perform weddings?
Long ago, most clergy were supported entirely by the people in their congregations; they were given a place to live, and provided with other life essentials. Back then, when a minister performed a wedding for a member of his congregation, he was usually given a small gift as a token of appreciation. Nowadays, clergy are often asked to perform weddings for people who aren't part of their support system.
Like many clergy, I am responsible for generating the funds needed to support my ministry and my family. As much as I enjoy performing weddings, I could not take time for weddings unless they provided some income. The fees I charge are based on the amount of time I typically spend meeting with couples, planning, preparing and performing the ceremony, and traveling to and from the wedding site. In most cases, this involves more than six hours of my professional time and committing weekend hours many months in advance.
What is the appropriate time to pay the clergy fee?
Traditionally, on the day of the wedding, the best man or groom discreetly hands the minister an envelope containing a check or cash.
I encourage couples to pay the clergy fee at a less hectic time. Most couples pay my fee when we meet to plan their ceremony. Keep in mind that clergy are not businessmen; most will feel uncomfortable if you hand them cash or write them a check in the presence of others.
Do clergy attend rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions?
A rehearsal conducted by the minister is not necessary unless you are having a very formal church-style wedding. Although it is always a gracious gesture to invite the minister to your "rehearsal" dinner, most clergy will politely decline unless they are personal friends of the family. Clergy are usually invited to the wedding reception.
Most of the weddings I perform are on weekends. Weekends are also when I'm best able to spend time with my own family. As much as I enjoy meeting the families and friends of the couples I marry, I usually don't stay at wedding receptions more than an hour; this allows me to spend more weekend time with my own family. Before finalizing any reception plans which would require a seat reservation or meal for me, please check to see if I have time to stay for that portion of the reception.