The TMJ self-hypnosis CD instructions recommend 30 days of use. I've been using it for nearly three weeks now, and some interesting things have been happening.

• Yes, the TMJ itself is being relieved. Not totally, not all at once, but the popping in my jaw (I was so used to it that I hardly noticed it) has almost stopped. The nearly constant congestion on the right side of my face (where the grinding mostly happened) has eased. The sinus headaches are almost gone (again, something to which I'd become so accustomed that I really didn't notice it unless my head felt like it was exploding.)
• Tension and anxiety are lower. Not that I don't have episodes of them (witness recent posts!) but when I do, I'm aware of it as I wasn't before.
• One unintended consequence of this: I've had incidents in which I've acted out at work. Bad. Very bad. I don't get angry or yell; instead I behave like an eight-year-old terrified of abuse (duh.) I've broken into tears in public, and, er, disposed of evidence of errors on my part. Now, I'm both adult and very clever, and when I cover up errors they stay covered... simply by correcting them VERY quietly. But - it would be better if I owned up. It wouldn't feed the anxiety nor reinforce the behavior. I've had almost out-of-body experiences as it felt as if I was standing aside and watching someone else cry or get replacement documents on the QT from the Shipping Dept.
  
  Evidently, this behavior is what I was pushing down with the teeth grinding.

OK, I can see now at least one reason why this doesn't work for everyone -- if you're not willing to deal with this crap, it is much easier to toss the CD, say it didn't work, and go back to old habits. I would prefer not to deal (obviously -- or I wouldn't have been grinding my teeth at night in the first place) but I do have tools. I've been calling people in recovery a lot more often. I'm gradually getting over the idea that every tiny mistake I might make is worthy of a major beating.

Nonetheless there have been times in the past 3 weeks I just wanted to toss the CD, say it didn't work, and go back to old habits. But -- given the choice of learning to not behave like an abused 8-year-old, or ending up back in the emergency room with a high fever from a sinus infection traceable directly to TMJ -- I'm learning to deal.

That said, I'm hesitating on ordering the weight control CDs. I'm not sure I'm ready to find out what I'm hiding under all this fat.