Overthrown (Crack!fic)
By
Marian Mendez
A friend mentioned wanting to encourage 'crack!fic' (stories that, while
good, are so strange you wonder if the writer was on crack at the time) and
this... sort of... popped up in my mind. The character started talking to
me and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it... so if the Crackficathon
happens I'll have to write something else for it.
The interviewer was careful not to sigh as the next person came in and sat
in the chair in front of his desk, forms clutched in her hands. She was obviously
a Delta, and in this post-revolutionary age, likely to take offense at any
perceived slight from an Alpha.
She was painfully clean (as most Deltas were now that the water restrictions
for their classes were lifted) and not unattractive - if gamines appealed
to you. They did, rather, to him, but inter-class relations were even more
sensitive in sexual matters, so he was careful not to comment on her thick,
wavy, chestnut hair, or her really quite fine, long-lashed, large hazel eyes,
or her delicately pale complexion, or her very kissable mouth. He shifted
in his seat and concentrated on her long nose and the calculating look in
her eyes. "Yes, well, you've come about the reward for information leading
to the discovery of the person who overthrew the Federation?"
"No." She shook her head firmly. "I'm here to collect the reward for doing
it. Overthrowing it, I mean." She grinned brilliantly, and the interviewer
forgot all about her nose.
"Ah..." He cleared his throat and shuffled some papers to cover his confusion. "You fought in the resistance?"
She laughed. "Do I look daft?"
"Well, then you were an undercover agent for the Federation and changed sides?"
Her smile vanished and she looked suddenly fierce. "One thing I am is loyal,
and don't you mistake it! If I'd ever joined either of you lot, I'd have
stayed the course."
"Umm... well, why don't you just tell me in your own words, and I'll pass
the information on to my superiors." He began to wonder if she was armed.
Wouldn't put it past a Delta to be carrying a kni... umm...no, mustn't think
classist any more. He got his data-pad and triggered it to record. "Start
with your name and residence or place we can leave a message, so we can get
back to you."
"My name's no matter. I was an orphan, and they changed it on me. I didn't
like what they gave me, so I changed it back again when I found out what
it was, after all the records were unsealed last month, but it's not official
yet. I'm Chevvie Grant. You can leave a message at my dorm, women's D7 in
the Delta section. They'll know it's me."
He checked that the data-pad was recording both her image and her words,
then sat back to enjoy the story. Deltas could tell the most marvelous lies.
That was one of the best parts of his job. He was glad he didn't have to
sort through them looking for the truth.
Chevvie took a deep breath and began, "I had a good job, not one of your
usual cleaning up after the Alphas' messes... beggin' your pardon, I'm sure
you never abused your privileges... well, now, I worked in a plant, supervising
the water treatment for all Euro-dome. All right, it was only one vitamin
additive... at least that's what I was told it was.
"It was a good job, but it was boring. I'd twiddle a knob here, and hit a
button there, and read a meter on this side and then go back around and check
every dial and adjust anything that had got out of line. I started thinking
about it after a while and found there were times when I didn't have to change
anything for an hour or more. So I made notes and worked up a schedule, so's
I'd know when I could pop down to the canteen for a coffee, or go collect
my week's rations, without causing any harm.
"I told my friend about that... you don't need to know his name... and he
thought it was a shame not to be doing something more interesting with the
time." Chevvie smiled. "I thought he was right, too. So one day when the
schedule said I'd an hour off, he and I were having a private little party
in this nice, cozy little place near the main feed valves. It's warm, and
the way the pipes are shaped it's very convenient... oh, all right, you don't
care about that.
"So, as I say, we were happy as an Alpha with a new gadget, when I hear the
main door to the section open. My boss... well, he didn't like anyone doing anything except work on company time. You should have seen the fuss he
made when I was doing my nails one day! So my friend leaves in a hurry, out
the other door, and I'm trying to get everything looking right... I get out
my spray bottle of Palmero Orange scent from my bag, and I see my friend's
left our protection lying on the floor! Well, my boss would have really
thrown a tizzy over that.
"I couldn't stick it in my bag- it's genuine imitation leather! So I opened
the nearest ... what do they call it... petcock? It's where we'd draw off
samples whenever someone wanted to know we weren't selling the 'vitamin'
stuff instead of putting it in the water. So I got rid of the evidence, and
everything was fine.
She grinned. "And then in a couple days all the rioting started, and someone
broke into the President's computer in the confusion, and the rebels from
the Outer Worlds... or whereever it was... came in like ants on a nutricube
and it was all over except for the shouting."
She leaned forward and smiled at him. "And all because I threw something
in the Suppressant works and jammed the valves. I overthrew the Federation.
Can I have my reward now?"