Child's Play
 By
Marian Mendez
(for a challenge on the B7 Friday Live Journal Community)
When the others rushed in with the pallet of gold and Dayna squealed, "Avon, Avon, the monsters are everywhere, the volcanoes are erupting, you'd better come and save the world." Vila knew something was wrong. Dayna had been drugged to imitate drug withdrawal, perhaps she was still under the influence.

But then Avon replied, "I'll be there in a minute. I've just got to do a wee first," and Vila remembered that the passengers aboard the 'cruise' had been given something to make them childishly pliable and easy to deceive. He didn't know how Dayna and Avon had been dosed with the stuff, but he suspected Keiller. Well, if that's what it was, it wore off harmlessly, but they were in no condition to continue the mission now. They could always sell the gold later. "Tarrant, we'd best get back to base."

"Not yet," Tarrant replied. "I want to buzz the Space Princess. When we get 'round to the viewports, everybody climb up against the view screen, drop their trousers and moon them!"

Dayna immediately started pulling at her trousers. Vila hesitated, torn between common sense and a small voice that said to let her do it.

Soolin said, "I'm not going. Last time I climbed up there, Tarrant pushed me off."

Dayna said, "I don't want to get pushed off, either." She pulled up her trousers.

Avon punched Tarrant in the shoulder, "Well I say we're not doing it, Tarrant, an' I'm older than you, so there."

Now, Tarrant was sulking. "You're a poo-poo head."

Soolin pulled out her gun and waved it in Tarrant's direction. "Tarrant! You're not supposed to say that word."

Vila ducked as Tarrant started wrestling Soolin for the gun. Soolin shouted, "Geroff, Tarrant, or I'm telling your mum."

Then he hit her in the chest and got the gun, and smirked at her.

Soolin rubbed her bruised bosom, tears starting up from the corners of her eyes. "Tarrant, if you do that again, I'm going to knock your stupid head right off your stupid shoulders. I mean it."

Dayna offered Soolin a clip-gun. "You can borrow mine. I don't like it anyway. Every time I shoot this gun, I drop it."

Vila gulped at all the weapons being waved about. Tarrant had a gun in each hand, and Avon also had his out. They were crouching behind consoles, pointing the guns and shouting, "Pow! Pow! I got you, yes, I did!"

Soolin took Dayna's gun and joined in the mock battle. Dayna looked at Vila. "You're not using your gun, Vila, lend it to me, so I can help Soolin!"

Vila thought fast. "I'm not playing. Every time I speak, you all shout 'shut up, Vila', an' I never get a turn with the big gun."

"Ooh! A big gun! Where is it, Vila!" Dayna bounced up and down, which distracted Vila momentarily.

"Right here!" Vila rummaged in a repair cabinet and pulled out a length of conduit casing, colourfully striped in spirals. "It's much better than those little guns."

"Oh, pleeeease, Vila, can I have it, can I?"

"Oh, all right." Vila gave her the conduit and within moments had the other three clamoring to 'upgrade' their weapons. Vila traded conduit for clip-guns, locking them all away, and then breathed a sigh of relief.

Vila went over to Slave. "Slave, set us a course for Xenon base. Don't take any orders from the others!"

"Yes, sir." Scorpio began moving, but none of the others noticed as their gun-battle had deteriorated into bickering.

Vila sat down with a bottle of Dorian's wine, letting the others' voices wash over him.

Dayna was shouting,"That's not fair. I killed you first, " as she kicked Tarrant in the shins and Soolin pulled his hair. Avon pinched Tarrant in the arm.

Tarrant began to cry. "No! It's not fair, I don't want to play any more, I'm going home, and I'm going to tell my mum."

Vila took a large gulp of wine, put his feet up on the console and then turned on the mission vid-recorder. The recording might be worth more than the gold. He grinned.