Alternate Endings
(link at the bottom of this page leads to the conclusion)
by Willa Shakespeare and Zenia
Blake stood in the tracking gallery, happiness warring with confusion. Their reunion wasn't supposed to be this way. Avon wasn't supposed to look so hurt and angry. Couldn't Avon see how tired he was? Fighting, fighting, always fighting. And never any time to stop, to relax. He was so tired of waking, night after night, screaming from nightmares and memories. He moved forward, arms outstretched. "Avon, I was waiting for you."
 
Avon's finger twitched. "Stand still..."

Blake said in a soft, imploring voice, "Avon, please." He continued moving forward, more slowly now, but he couldn't stop, even if he wanted to.

"Please, Blake. Don't make me do this. I don't want to kill you, too." Avon was unaware he was speaking out loud.

"Then don't. Don't kill me. Avon, I need you."
 
Avon's gun wavered and started to aim downwards. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the blonde woman who came in with Blake draw a gun. He turned and shot her.

Blake stopped, startled. He stared at Avon, his eyes wide. "Why did you do that? Why did you shoot her?"

"I thought... for a moment... I thought she was Anna." Avon blinked and the corpse had brown hair, not blonde. His gun slipped from his fingers and he went over to kneel next to the body.

Blake walked over to Avon and knelt next to him. He put his arm around Avon and laid his cheek on Avon's shoulder. "It's all right."

Avon picked up a small device that had fallen out of the woman's pocket. "No, it's not. This is Federation military issue.' He looked at Blake blankly. "And it's signalling."

Blake stared at the device in horror, then he scrambled to his feet and ran over to the comm-unit. "Level-three evacuation. This is not a drill. Level-three evacuation." Blake turned to Avon's crew. "Follow my people out, they'll get you to safety. Now!" Blake strode back to Avon. "We have to go."

"Go? Where?" Avon was still staring at the corpse. "Why?"

"Avon, please, get up." Blake grabbed Avon's arm and tried to pull him to his feet.

Avon looked up at Blake. Only then did he notice that they were alone. "Your death and mine; I always knew they would be connected."

"Yes, but not now. Either you get up or I'll drag you out of here."

Avon shook his head. "Orac is outside. Vila will show you where it is, if you want to keep trying. I'm tired of fighting, Blake, sick to death of it. Aren't you tired? You look it."

Yes, he was tired, but not tired enough to give up on life. Blake hit Avon in the jaw, knocking him out. Then he lifted Avon, tossed him over his shoulder, and staggered towards the door. He took an escape route only he knew; one that led out to the forest-- a perfect place for cover.


Avon opened his eyes, but it was still dark. "Blake? Are you here?"

"Shh," Blake said softly. "Voices carry. We're almost out." He could see moonlight at the end of the tunnel.

Obediently whispering, Avon replied, "Put me down. I can walk."

"No. Be quiet." Once out of the tunnel, Blake kept walking, still carrying Avon. There was a cave, not far from the tunnel opening, where he kept emergency supplies.

Avon's jaw hurt, and Blake's shoulder wasn't quite as well padded as it looked, so Avon's belly also hurt, and even out of the tunnel all he could see was blurred black foliage and, when he rested his neck from peering around, Blake's backside. Which was dirty, and smelled like dead animals.

By the time Blake reached the rocky outcropping, he was breathing hard. He set Avon down on the ground carelessly and began searching through the brush surrounding the rocks until he found the opening of the cave. "Come here. Get in."

Avon rubbed feeling back into his legs and his arse (which had landed on a rocky patch of ground), and peered suspiciously at the cave, but obeyed. With one last glance around, Blake followed Avon in. The cave was pitch black and it took him some time to find his supply bags and pull out the torch. He turned it on and stared at Avon, bitterly.

Avon blinked in the light, saw a large rock and sat on it. "Another mess."

"Spare me the sarcastic comments." Blake stared at the wall.

"It's just that I hadn't envisioned it this way." Avon shut his eyes and leaned back against the wall. "I should have. I'd changed. I don't know why I expected you hadn't."

 "Yes, amazing, isn't it. I'm human."

" I see. You are allowed sarcasm." Avon sighed. "Shall we sit here all night, being disappointed in each other, or have you any more productive suggestions?"

"We stay here until tomorrow night, then we head to the meeting place. Hopefully, my people won't have left."

 "I see -- and even more hopefully, there won't be any more Federation spies amongst them." Avon rubbed his arms. "I'd ask if you have a heating unit, but as the bounty hunters use heat-sensors, that would be uncommonly foolish, wouldn't it?"

"I have a blanket. One blanket." Blake rummaged around his bag and pulled it out. "We'll have to share."

Avon nodded. "This rock isn't big enough for two." He got up and moved over to Blake.

Blake covered them both with the blanket. "Would you really have shot me?"

There was a long pause and then Avon answered, "I don't know. I didn't want to. But I've been pushed into a corner too many times, Blake. Flight or fight. And there's no place left to run, is there?'

"No. -- I thought it would be different when you came. But it isn't. I thought I could sleep through the night without waking."

Avon laughed shortly. "So did I. Do you think we could take turns being insomniac?"

"I don't know. It depends on how long we're together." Blake was having trouble getting comfortable, so he took off his vest and set it aside. "Take off your jacket."

Avon thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. It wouldn't make much difference as far as temperature, and the studs were uncomfortable. He took it off and turned it inside out to roll up as a sort of pillow.

Blake was still feeling angry and bitter about the situation. But maybe he could remedy that. He wrapped his arms around Avon and pulled him close.

Avon stiffened, then took a deep breath and let it out, forcibly relaxing his muscles. They were so close he imagined he could hear Blake's heart beating. He gave in to the impulse to press his ear against Blake's chest -- just to be sure.

Blake stroked Avon's hair with one hand, and with the other, rubbed his back.

"Blake... I never did hate you."

Blake didn't reply. He merely pulled Avon's shirt up and slid his hand underneath, feeling the bumps of his spine.

"I thought... I thought you hated me." Avon shivered under Blake's touch.

Blake grabbed Avon's hair and tilted his head back. All talking ever did was ruin their relationship-- so Blake decided to silence him. He grabbed Avon's hair, tilted his head back, and kissed him softly.

Avon gasped and lunged against Blake, grabbing at him with both hands. Blake sighed against Avon's mouth and stroked his back, trying to gentle him. Avon moaned into Blake's mouth and pushed against him harder, not quite biting at his mouth.

Blake pulled away, panting. "I'm going to fuck you."

"Do I have a choice?" Avon's eyes glittered in the light of the lamp, and he grinned like a maniac.

"I'm not a rapist." Blake pulled Avon against him and kissed him hard.

"Oh, well, in that case..." Avon pulled at Blake's shirt, fumbling with the buttons. "I agree."

"Good." Blake grabbed Avon's hands and pressed a kiss to each palm.

Avon shuddered. "Don't. I don't think I could handle gentleness at the moment."

Blake looked up at Avon and smiled. "Does it hurt?" He brushed his lips against Avon's knuckles.
 
"Agony." Avon smiled back. "Let me see you, Roj. And then, then you can fuck me."

"How do you want to see me, Avon?" Blake twisted one of Avon's arms behind his back, putting just enough pressure to hurt.

"Ah!" Avon arched his back, trying to get free. His grin widened. "I want," Avon said, thrusting his cock against Blake,"... to see -- what I'm getting."

"Use your other hand." Blake grinned. "I'm going to bruise you, Avon. Fuck you and hurt you and twist you into knots-- and you'll come crawling back for more."

"Yess." Avon reached out with his free hand, and worked to undo Blake's trousers. "And then..." Avon lunged forward despite the pain, and bit Blake's throat, not quite hard enough to break the skin. "I'll fuck you into the ground."

"Fuck." Blake suddenly laughed. "Maybe. If you're a bad boy." He put more pressure on Avon's arm. "I'm going to tie you up. In the knapsack beside you, there's a rope. Get it."

It was a strain, reaching the knapsack and fumbling it open one-handed. Avon's cock was straining the zip of his trousers before he managed to comply, bringing out a length of rope. "Here!"

Blake took the rope. "Put your hand behind your back." He used the rope to gently whip the bulge in Avon's trousers. Avon moaned, and mock-struggled against Blake for a moment, before putting his hand behind his back.  Blake smiled, and reached around to tie Avon's hands together. He whispered, "Tell me you want me to hurt you."

Avon bared his teeth in defiance... but it only lasted a moment. "Please. I need you to hurt me."

"Louder. I want you to say it louder. Then I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you."

Avon tossed his head, getting the hair out of his eyes. "Hurt me, you bastard! I want you to whip my arse, then fuck me raw." Avon's fists clenched in their bindings.

Blake backhanded Avon. "Such language." He grabbed the blanket and stuffed it in the knapsack, then laid the sack on the ground. "I want your arse in the air. You can rest your head on that."

Avon licked a drop of blood off his lip, split by Blake's blow. His eyes were brighter than ever. He knelt awkwardly, then turned his head sideways and rested it on the knapsack, watching Blake out of the corner of his eye. "Please."

Blake reached underneath Avon, undid his trousers, and pushed them and his underpants down, exposing his arse and thighs. Then he stood and slowly pulled off his belt. He doubled it (metal decorations on the inside), and ran it over Avon's arse. "Say pretty please."

Avon bit his lip until he could taste blood again. "Pretty please!" His bound hands reached back helplessly.

Blake brought the belt down on Avon's arse. "Pretty please, *master*."

"Ah! Avon arched up. "Master! Pretty please, Master!"

"I'm not going to show you any mercy." Blake swung the belt, and the sound of leather meeting flesh filled the cave.

"Master!" Avon turned his face into the knapsack to muffle his cries. "Please, Master!"

Blake hit Avon's arse and thighs, harder and harder, watching the skin turn bright red. He was panting from exertion and excitement. "Once we're safe, I'm going to do this to you again. And you'll let me hear your cries."

Avon groaned and began thrusting against the knapsack.

"If you come, I'll use the extra rope in that knapsack to tie your balls so tight they'll fall off."

Avon gasped at the threat, but couldn't stop thrusting. "I can't. Master, I can't help it. Please!"

Blake stopped swinging the belt, strode forward, grabbed Avon by the hair, and pulled him up so that he was kneeling. He kicked the knapsack away. "Maybe I should slap that cock of yours."

Avon didn't understand what Blake was saying. "Please!"

Blake frowned. "Please, what?"

All Avon could see was the circle of torch-light in his eyes. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears. His whole body was on fire. He writhed, fighting the bonds without even realizing he was tied. "Please!"

Blake wasn't sure what Avon was asking for, but he decided to go with what he had planned. He released Avon's hair and pushed his head down again. Then Blake knelt behind him. He used his saliva to wet his cock, then began to push into Avon's body.

"No!" Avon pushed back onto Blake. "Yes! Please!" Avon's face was rubbing against the dirt now, and he closed his eyes. "Oh, fuck...yes!"

Blake shoved into Avon, then, unable to help himself, began to fuck him hard. Everything about Avon was hot, inside and out. Avon radiated heat and Blake wanted to share in that. He wanted to fuck some of the heat into himself.

Avon  was moving desperately now, off-balance, and fighting Blake's weight, trying to ease the fire, the intolerable pressure, inside. "Oh, please..." His face was wet, and his throat was raw. "Please..."

Blake reached underneath Avon and brutally pinched and twisted his nipples. He said softly, "Bad. You're bad. And this is what you deserve. This is your punishment."

Avon froze in place for an instant, then shuddered all over. "It hurts."

"Do you want it to hurt?"

Avon moaned again. He rubbed his face against the ground. "Yes... No... Oh, please...."
 
"Stop it!" Blake slapped Avon's side. "I'm going to make you hurt. I'm going to fuck you raw. I'm going to come inside of you. Then I'm going to spank you again." He thrust into Avon, slamming his hips forward, concentrating on his own pleasure. He grunted, hips moving faster as he got closer. Pleasure and heat and fucking Avon... fucking Avon. With a muffled cry, he slammed his hips against Avon one last time, coming.

Avon groaned very softly, then clenched tightly on Blake, and felt his own release, hot splashes against his chest that turned cold a moment later. He slumped forward, barely breathing, shivering all over.

It took Blake a moment to realize that Avon was clammy-- shock. He fumbled with the rope, cursing before he finally untied it. Then he grabbed the knapsack, pulled out the blanket and wrapped it around Avon. Blake pulled him close. "Avon, Avon, it's all right. It will be all right."

Avon was dazed, but instinctively moved closer to Blake. "cold..." This wasn't right. Things were supposed to be right once he found Blake. Everything was all tangled and grey and cold. Avon could feel his blood congealing in his veins, turning grey and pasty, like Mangon mushroom sludge. Even shivering seemed too much trouble. Blake was talking, but it all blended together into a drone, like a computer with a slowly failing power supply.

Blake stroked Avon's face and rubbed his arms, trying to get him to warm up. "Don't do this to me, Avon. Not now. Do you hear me? I'm telling you that you can't do this."

The universe had been getting narrower for a long time; reality shrinking into a tunnel around him, until it got too small to fit the crew. Now it was too small even for Avon.

Blake laid Avon on the ground and covered him with the blanket. He slipped next to him, clutching him tightly. "I'll hurt you again if you don't snap out of it."

Avon used to have a body. He remembered that. Sometimes it felt good to have a body, but mostly there was pain. You could learn to enjoy pain. But even that grew tiresome. Avon used to have dreams, then he had nightmares, but even they went away. Everything went away, even Blake. And in the end, all you had was grey. You could count on grey.

Blake murmured, "Dammit." He slapped Avon hard.

Lovely, soft grey, like storm clouds. Avon had never gone out during a storm. He should have, all that wild electricity. It'd be like all the shocks machinery had given him over the years, rolled up into one. It would have saved everyone- including him- so much wasted effort.

"Wake up. Come on, wake up." Blake kissed Avon, tongue easing into his mouth.

Avon coughed and moved his head slightly

Well, that's an improvement. Blake continued to kiss Avon and slid his hands over Avon's body. Avon moved his head again, trying to breathe. His nose was pressed into Blake's cheek as Blake kissed him.

Blake broke the kiss. "Don't you like that? Well, maybe you'll like this better." Blake sucked on his fingers, getting them wet, then slipped his hand between Avon's thighs. He pressed two fingers against Avon's hole and pushed them in slowly while he licked Avon's mouth.

The grey rolled back in. Avon relaxed; for a moment he had begun to wonder if it would leave him.

Blake searched for Avon's prostate, and when he found it, he stroked it gently. "Come on, you moved for me before. You can do it again." He pressed quick kisses on Avon's mouth

Thick, soft clouds...like fog, smelling of nothing, tasting of nothing, feeling like nothing.

Blake slipped his fingers out of him and resumed kissing. He murmured, "Don't think I won't fuck you while you're like this."

Even the concept of grey was slipping away...

"Wake up now. It's time to wake up." Blake nibbled Avon's bottom lip

There were no words, no emotions, no identity.

"Kerr." Blake heaved a frustrated sigh "Fine." He released Avon and turned away.
 
 nothing 

Blake tried to ignore the man next to him, but it was difficult. Damn, damn, damn! He turned and kissed Avon again, thrusting his tongue into Avon's mouth, trying to got him to react like before.

Avon jerked, moving his head away from Blake.

No. Not this time. Blake grabbed Avon by the hair and continued to kiss him hard. Avon's hands came up and pushed at Blake randomly, while he tried to turn his head. Blake grabbed Avon's wrists and held them over his head to keep him from pushing him away.

Avon's eyelids were moving now. He twisted, trying to break free. Blake straddled Avon's hips and tried to coax Avon's tongue into his mouth. Avon arched up, and tried to kick.

Blake chuckled into Avon's mouth and put his weight on the body underneath him.
 
"Mmmm!" Avon's eyelids flew open.

Blake began to slowly rub his body against Avon's.

Avon bit Blake's tongue. Blake jerked back. "Bastard! -- I see you're conscious."

"Of course I'm conscious. No thanks to you. What were you trying to do, suffocate me?"

"I was trying to wake you from the evil spell." Blake brushed his lips to Avon's. He whispered, "And it worked.'

"Evil spell?" Avon looked up at Blake, confused.

Blake grinned, "Didn't your mother ever read you fairy tales?"

Avon rolled his eyes. "I thought it was common knowledge that I never had a mother."

Blake released Avon's wrists and reached between them to play with Avon's cock and balls.

"And if I had, she certainly never did that." Avon frowned. "Didn't we just ..."

Blake looked at Avon innocently. "Didn't we just what?"

"Have sex? I seem to recall.." Avon moved his legs and winced. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" Blake kissed Avon's nose.
 
"Either that or I sat on a laser probe - a large one-  repeatedly." Avon flexed his hands and brought them down to rest lightly on Blake's sides. "And you were angry at me."

"You wanted me to punish you. So I did." Blake smiled. "I whipped your arse with my belt, made you call me 'master,' and then I fucked you."

"Ahh..." Avon blinked. "Well, I hope I got it out of my system." Avon moved slightly and winced again.

 "It would be all right if you haven't," Blake said quietly.

"I don't need a master." Avon stroked Blake's sides. "I find, however, that a friend would be ... "

"Nice?" Blake smiled. "Yes, I'd like that, too."

Avon turned on his side and faced Blake. "Friends talk to each other."

"Yes." Blake stroked Avon's face, then held him loosely.

Avon slowly relaxed in Blake's hold. "So if there's anything you want to ask me... now's a good time. -- I imagine once we're rescued you'll be far too busy for idle chat."

Blake sighed. "Yes. Are you going to be all right?"
 
There was a long pause before Avon answered, "I don't know. At the moment... everything seems clear, and sane but then, it did all along. How about you? Are you going to be all right?"

"I think so. -- I hope so." Blake kissed Avon's cheek. "We'll help each other. We'll keep each other sane."

"Yes." Avon touched Blake's scarred eyelid. "We will."

"We should try to get some rest. We have a bit of walking tomorrow."

Avon closed his eyes. "I think I could sleep."

"Then sleep. I'll watch over you."

Avon replied groggily, "I should be watching out for you."

"I'll wake you in a few hours and you can take watch then."

Avon opened his eyes and smiled. "Yes. Thank you." He touched Blake's face again, and closed his eyes.

Blake smiled and watched Avon.

Avon began snoring -- .not terribly loudly.