cow economics


The story of two cows.

I just like really fun ways to reveal profound truth. So, when I came across this again, I thought I'd share it with YOU, just in case you also like really fun ways to reveal profound truth.

Two Cows
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You're placed in a cooperative to tell him how to manage your cow.

COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive,and sour.

CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up.

FRENCH: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN: You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.Life is good.

RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You have some more vodka.You count them again and now you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN: You have all the cows in Afghanistan,which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQI: You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

INDIAN: You have two cows.They wander around the roads aimlessly.

PAKISTANI: You have no cows.You claim that the Indian cows are yours.

BRITISH: You have two cows....both are mad.

SWISS: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE: You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them.You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

BIBLICAL: You have two cows.You pray and then you pray some more.Now you have two holy cows.

Posted: Sun - October 24, 2004 at 03:56 PM           |

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