Star-Spangled Home Improvements

Many countries have changed the tune of their national anthems throughout the twentieth century. But the citizens and politicians of the US don't waste a single thought on that subject. The Star-Spangled Banner has been performed much more often than any other song in the past 70 years (that's how long it's the national anthem). I would not call it patriotic anymore that the anthem can be heard at EVERY sports event across the nation. But that's a different subject. Nonetheless, in my opinion, because of the popularity and visibility of The Star-Spangled Banner, it should be looked at with a critical eye. Finally.

Recently I sang four national anthems accompanied by the Minnesota State Band (see picture above). It was a celebration of Germanic heritage and culture in St. Paul.
Here are the messages conveyed by the three Germanic national anthems:
The Austrians talk about the beautiful countryside and their famous sons. The Germans talk about ensuring justice, unification, and freedom. And the Swiss anthem is a prayer in the dawn of a new day.

In contrast, the US national anthem is a bloody war song about a flag, written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key during the bombardment of Fort McHenry, MD, by the British. In light of the recent terrorists attacks America the Beautiful could have replaced the Star-Spangled Banner. That would have been a smart move by George W. He missed his chance. Instead, Take Me Out To The Ball Game was replaced by God Bless America. What an upside-down world we live in.

I urge every US resident to talk to their local politicians about finally replacing The Star-Spangled Banner ! And to all you poets and composers out there: make yourselves useful and come up with a new national anthem. The US really deserves better.

But besides its sheer existence, The Star-Spangled Banner has three additional major flaws. Here they are:

• Its vocal range is too big. Even professional singers can only perform it in a specific key. My key is A-flat for example. Good songs have an original key that most people can use.
• The last sentence (of the first verse that everyone uses) is written in a way that everyone takes a disruptive breath right before the word "banner." Would you do that if you were simply reading the poem?
• A national anthem that ends with a question mark? Not a very convincing message.

But don't fret and listen up, Jesse Ventura and George Bush, I have one simple solution for the latter two problems:
As some fanatic patriots might know, the poem of Mr. Key has actually four verses. All you have to do is replacing the last sentence of the first verse with the one from the second verse. Voila! That tells more of the story (instead of using only the first verse), solves the breathing problem and puts and exclamation point at the end of the song. I myself inaugurated the following improved ending of The Star-Spangled Banner on September 8, 2001 in St. Paul, Minnesota, by singing: