Dave Barry- Runalong Condensed Version
11/19/07 08:48 AM *Good Humor
16 RULES THAT TOOK ME
NEARLY 60 YEARS TO LEARN by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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