Blonde Jokes
Here are some blonde jokes that you may or may not find amusing depending on your hair color...
- Q: Why do you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
- A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
- Q: What do you call a blonde with 1/2 a brain?
- A: Gifted.
- Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
- A: I hope it's mine!!!!
- Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower?
- A: The green "Welcome" mat is ripped all the shreds.
- Q: What did the blondes mom say before she left for a date?
- A: If your not in bed by 10, come home!
- Q: Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
- A: To see what's on the other side.
- Q: What do you call 2 blondes in a freezer?
- A: Frosted flakes.
- Q: How do blondes commit suicide?
- A: Put spikes on their shoulder pads.
- Q: Why are blondes like turtles?
- A: When on their back, their screwed.
- Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
- A: Both empty from the neck up.
- Q: Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
- A: She was eating all the W's.
- Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
- A: Give her pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
- Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a row?
- A: Wind tunnel.
- Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
- A: She drowns it.
- Q: What's similar about UFO's and a smart blonde?
- A: You keep hearing about them, but never see one...
- Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would and first?
- A: The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
- Q: Why don't blondes like pickles?
- A: They keep getting their head stuck in the jar..
- Q: What is a blondes' mating call?
- A: Oh, I'm soooooo drunk!
- Q: What is a brunettes mating call?
- A: Have all the blonde's gone home?
- Q: What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
- A: An Interpreter.
- Q: What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
- A: Are all you guys on the same team?
- Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?
- A: Artificial intelligence.
- Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
- A: 100 - 1 to stir and 99 to peel the M&Ms.
- Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
- A: Whiteout all over the screen.
- Q: What's similar about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Smart Blondes?
- A: They are all make-believe.
- Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
- A: Toes Go In First
- Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their bras?
- A: Tits Go In First
- Q: Why do blondes like the GST?
- A: It's the only thing they can spell.
- Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
- A: To keep their ankles warm.
- Q: How do you change a blondes mind?
- A: Blow in her ear.
- Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
- A: Opens the car door.
Did you hear about the blond who is so dumb she thinks Manual Labor is a Mexican.
Did you hear about the blond who had a hysterectomy so she'd stop having grandchildren?
Did you hear about the blond who was two hours late getting home because the escalator got stuck?
Did you hear about the blond who stayed up all night studying for her urine test?
Did you hear about the blond prostitute who didn't vote? She didn't care who got in.
Did you hear about the blonde who thought a sanitary belt was a drink from a clean glass?
Did you hear about the blonde who only smelled good on the right side? She didn't know where to buy left guard.
Did you hear about the blonde housewife who was mad at her husband because he was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them.
Did you hear about the blonde who lost her mind? She worked in a whorehouse for 6 years and then found out the other girls got paid!
Did you hear about the pregnant blonde who went to the grocery store because she heard they had free delivery.