My Testimony of Unconditional Love

Introduction


I wrote the following testimony in 1994, when I came back to active sharing of faith with others, after about a 12-year hiatus. I hadn't realized that my distaste for organized religion was actually based on the mixed messages that the Catholic faith had to offer. When I wrote this testimony, I didn't realize that there were pure Christian churches out there. It amazes me how little my thoughts have changed, not only in the last 6 years, but my entire life. It was written for a specific crowd, and has a couple proper nouns that people might find just a bit confusing, it's worth it, though.

I loved stumbling into some concrete evidence that proves I knew what the Holy Sprit was telling me about the problems with the Catholic faith. I have literally been Christian my entire conscious life. The only explanation is that I had the gift of the Holy Sprit from before I could even understand what that even could possibly mean. the very first time somebody told me the gospel story, my thought process was "yes, I already know that, what else can you tell me". I have always had an innate, instinctive KNOWLEDGE that Jesus Christ is God, came to earth, gave his life for us, rose to heaven, and is waiting to come back and deliver us from this planet to heaven. I have never known anything else, and for this alone, I am thankful to God for eternity. When I see so many people that were lost, and had to be found, it is out of my comprehension, really what that means completely; it is most certainly a foreign language to me, and needs to be translated.

Anyhow, I did stumble into some wonderful Christians in the Catholic church, who taught me true Christianity, but didn't necessarily practice it themselves. I found fewer and fewer through the years, but after having the rote drummed into me that 'only Catholics go to heaven', I didn't even look elsewhere for 12 years. In my heart, the Holy Spirit confirmed within that I understood the truth, and that I was a brother in Christ, and was saved, and I was, in fact, TAUGHT that by Catholics. I just never understood WHY they didn't understand pure Christian doctrine, and felt the need to ADD to it; Didn't they READ the last two paragraphs of Revelations* (oops, apocalypse). I understood that 20+ years before I ever READ a single word of revelations. I am truly blessed, and know it, but I would LOVE to share this blessing with ANYBODY and EVERYBODY that I can.

I am becoming more and more concerned with the fate of the Catholic church, and the members within. Especially when I found out the wonderful work of Ivan Panin, quite literally proves with no shadow of doubt that the entire bible (all 66 books) ARE, in fact, divinely inspired, but that the apocrypha FAIL this test; they do NOT appear to be divinely inspired. (re-read the second-last sentence of the last paragraph). Not to mention, of course, that NO other known "religious book" of any kind has passed this test either.

*Rev 22:18 I warn every one who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if any one adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, 19 and if any one takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

There is so much proof of God, and of Jesus, that it is clearly the blind in spirit ONLY that don't see it. To me, it's not even a matter of faith; it's solid proof.


My original testimony starts here:

“Do you want to come to my church?
...they usually serve food afterward”

This may sound a bit weird to you, but it may very well be the most important phrase in my life. It was the beginning of a major turning point in my life, and a big leap in the right direction. My testimony is based on 1 John 3:16 "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

First, I want to say, that I've always been a believer, and have never lost faith in Jesus, but that For about twelve years, I had little faith in the so called leaders [of the Catholic faith] that were supposed to be teaching me faith, and didn't seem to have much of their own. They spoke the words, but didn't show their belief in their actions. This slowly turned me away from any form of social religion. I'm not saying they were bad people, just weren't teaching me anything new.

I lived quite happily for many years, practicing my faith on my own terms. I achieved high levels of success in everything I tried, and was in high regard by my peers. I went for about 12 years without ever going to [mass]. (With a few very rare exceptions). And when I did go, it only confirmed my suspicions that they weren't teaching anything new. I had always left feeling like I could have been doing something better to improve my life, Yet I wasn't devoted enough to go out of my way to find a place that really taught. I always was hoping that it would find me.

I was so disenchanted with all the churches I knew of, I couldn't imagine that anybody could get it right. I even thought of starting my own church, so that I could learn with other people that thought the way I did. I talked with people about this philosophy, but again, it was too much work, and who's to say I'd have ever got anything going, or helped anybody, including me. I was starting to get the feeling that I would never find people to share my faith with and, I was also starting to wonder why I wanted to, or if it even mattered. Later, I discovered the reason; my faith growths much stronger through sharing. Reason enough for me.

During this time of my life, I had many tests of faith, and all had proven to make my faith stronger, and help prepare me for the future. I will get back to that later. I nevertheless was pretty much always content, but always hoping to find something that would improve my outlook on life in a big way; just being content was never enough for me; I want the best!

I figured I was on my own forever, then something remarkable happened, Just about a month before Christmas, last year. I met Heather-an incredibly remarkable, vibrant, young woman, full of energy and life. We talked for endless hours, and she quickly became my closest friend ever. To this day, I believe her to have been sent by God. About a month after we met, she told me about this interesting church she started going to, and described it a bit. At one point she said "These Koreans usually have food after church".

That caught my attention; I figured anybody that finishes church with a snack, must have a different attitude toward faith, and since I hadn't heard of anything different in the faith department in the past 12 years, and I had my eyes peeled the entire time, I saw this as my chance, especially since the offer to go came from the one person I trusted more than anybody I ever met; my shepherd, if you will. I instinctively knew I wouldn't be led astray.

It did not take long at all for UBF to make quite an impression on me. I remember the first message that I learned from Mark Hong; about Daniel and the lions den; That I should never let other people turn me from my faith in Jesus. This could likely be the perfect story for me at that time. I, like Daniel never let the people who didn't have faith destroy my faith, and when I heard somebody give a message about the same topic, it really lifted my spirits. Thank-you, Mark.

The other really important thing that was happening at the time was that for the first time in my life, my closest friend actually had strong faith in Jesus-something I never even dreamed of. I never would have imagined going to church being an activity I wanted to do with my best friend.

About three weeks into UBF, the single most amazing event in my entire life happened, I can even remember the exact day it happened. I discovered the true meaning (feeling) of unconditional love. I don't know if I can really explain how to tell if you understand or not yet. I believe that everybody that has pure faith in Jesus will eventually make this discovery, and will feel as good as me about it when it happens. Here is my attempt at an explanation, and one simple test that lets me know that I understand. I was doing one-on-one bible study with Peter, and When talking about Jesus' love for us, Peter asked me "Can you understand how Jesus can love us, even though we are not worthy of this love? He expected my answer to be "NO." My answer was (and still is) YES! This is my simple unconditional love test. If you understand how Jesus can love us all, always, and forever, everybody; even Hitler, Stalin, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill Clinton, then you understand unconditional love. If you can love people this same way, then you have discovered unconditional love; enjoy; it lasts forever.

Shortly after this, I was tested when somebody attempted to steal my motorcycle; in the process, they broke it & even though they didn't get away with it, I couldn't use it either. Somehow, and I can't even explain how, I never felt angry in the least, and in fact, when I didn't get mad, I prayed in thanks, that I must have actually discovered real love. The very next day, through an event I can only describe as a miracle, the motorcycle was no longer broken at all. No explanation how.

My mother once showed me that she has unconditional love for her children, with a statement that at the time seemed pretty bizarre, but now I understand. Like the way that Jesus gave his body, and then his life for the people he loved, she said that a mother will give her life in the defense of her children, with no regard to her own life. That part I could understand, although at the time I don't know that I can say I 'felt' it, except that I know that instinctively, I would have put other's lives ahead of my own without actually understanding why. The other thing that she said was in reference to unconditional love she said, perhaps in testing my faith, If one of my children were in need of a kidney transplant, she wouldn't even think twice about giving up one of hers if she were an eligible donor. At the time I couldn't even understand this; completely unbelievable to me whow! Since my discovery, I can fully understand, and can also say that I would give my life in the defense of a friend, and that I have even have friends I would give a kidney without thinking twice. This goes back to the phrase "we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers".

The important thing for me to understand is that the source of this love is not me, or my mom, or my best friend, it is Jesus. Without his unconditional love for us, we would never have the chance to experience it at all. He is the source of all love, and deserves to get the credit.-There; he's got it. Not to say that my mom and my best friend don't get some credit for leading me to Jesus. They do!

Because of my dis-enlightenment with the way that many people tend to say things because they are conditioned to use certain responses, and not sincere belief behind what they are actually saying, I was conditioned over my entire life not to tell people how I feel, but to show them through actions. I finally found a phrase in the bible that summarizes this perfectly: 1 John 3:18b-"Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and with truth. This perfectly explains the way I have felt; (and acted) my entire life. In my entire life, only two people have ever heard the phrase "I love you" directed at them from me, but all of my friends (brothers) reap the benefits of my love for them through my actions.

I have grown in faith an unbelievable amount over the last 9 months, and give the credit to Jesus, UBF, Myself, and Heather. Without Jesus, there would be no point of any of this, without UBF, I'd be at the same point in my life spiritually that I was for the last dozen years, Without faith in myself, I wouldn't have the will to have any spiritual life, and without Heather, I would not likely ever have been convinced to go to UBF in the first place. The only person whose opinion I would respect on the subject would have been my very closest friend; not even my mother could persuade me, and trust me, she tried.

Thank-you, Jesus, UBF, and Heather! When do we get to eat?

If you are 'moved' by this testimony, please share that with me, Andrew Wynn Rouse via email: aw@good-guys.not note: for anti-spamming purposes.. you have to change the '.not' to '.net'


Note: I have had some people contact me with concern over the fact that in my testimony there is not a clear 'change of heart' where I was changed from not being a believer to being a believer, thus being a stumbling block against Jesus' own words in John 3:3 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God." Rest, assured, at some point I realized I was a sinner, and had to make that leap of faith; I just can't remember back that far; my earliest memories are already past that point in time. Since that point I have re-affirmed my faith many times, 'being born and born and born'; however, I will contest that in-reality it was ONCE, just a LONG LONG time ago, and before my earliest memories. I was gifted a gift of wisdom of understanding the gospel, and I never ONCE doubted it one bit; from my first memories, I already knew it as TRUTH, and went from there; any questions, please email me :)


Take me HOME; BACK, FORWARD