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Tue - April 20, 2004


"We Are The Champions ... Of The World"  



Pit lions against tigers and bears against sharks, and you've got a recipe for entertaining TV -- even if it's just a sneaky way to educate us about science. 

As children, my brother and I often debated whether Batman could beat Superman in a fight, but we left such sessions frustrated because neither of us could prove that the other was wrong.

Today, this makes us a prime audience for the Discovery Channel's new "reality" series: Animal Face-Off, which purports to answer the pressing question: "Who would win if the world's toughest animals fought?" Forget Ali v. Frasier and the nasal narratives of boxing's Howard Cosell. We're talking about real heavyweight contests here, like Lion v. Tiger, Alligator v. Bear, Tiger v. Grizzly, Polar Bear v. Walrus, and Crocodile v. Great White Shark.

Animals are never harmed to make the show. Instead, a team of scientists evaluates the biomechanics, physiology, fighting tactics, strengths and weaknesses of each contestant to pronounce the statistically favored winner of a fight. Computer simulations and robot animals—such as the crocodile pictured above—bring the statistics to life.

As with the Discovery Channel's earlier programs, which followed the "lives" of CGI-animated dinosaurs and ancient mammals, all this apparent pointlessness has a point. While waiting to find out who wins each bout, viewers learn much about some of the world's most fascinating and endangered creatures. It's popular science with a clever, if implausible premise.

Now, if only the network made mechanical super heroes, my brother and I could settle an old score once and for all. 

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