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Mon - November 10, 2003


"What Did I Know And When Did I Know It?" 



Governor-Elect Arnold Schwarzenegger sets out to prove that California politics really are a glitch in the Matrix.  

Dogged by allegations that he groped 16 women, Governor-Elect Arnold Schwarzenegger has devised a novel way to address the problem: He's hired private detectives to find out what he did and when he did it.

Whether or not the detectives exonerate their employer, Schwarzenegger isn't sure whether he'll release the results to State Attorney General Bill Lockyear, a democrat who has publicly criticized Schwarzenegger's "frat boy behavior" and may have designs on the governorship himself.

As much as I admire the parallels with Schwarzenegger's film "Total Recall," the "investigation" is a colossal waste of time. Lockyear knows that he can't charge Schwarzenegger with a crime because Schwarzenegger never committed malfeasance in office. The women involved haven't pressed charges themselves. And the governor-elect's promise to investigate his own actions is just plain silly.

Why would any woman cooperate with an investigator paid by Schwarzenegger who delivers results only to Schwarzenegger? Why would the public believe the results of such an inquiry? Why is Schwarzenegger investigating at all when he presumably knows where he—and his hands—have been?

Sadly, the only correct answer in California politics these days is, "Why ask why?"

 

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