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Looking At And Longing For Mars: Reflections on a childhood dream.
A Robot May Not Harm a Human Being. Is The Opposite True?: Thoughts on the future rights of artificial intelligence.
Long After The Boys Of Summer Have Gone: What makes a relationship work?
Winter Of Our Feline Discontent: What the cat wants, the cat gets. But what DOES it want?
To Tell The Truth: There may be no honor among thieves, but can't we find it even in a few good men and women?
Should The Human Brain Retire?: We know that we cannot win forever. We know that machines will continue to improve. So why don't we let the human brain retire gracefully now, with honors?
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Published: Sep 16, 2005 01:40 PM
Tue - October 7, 2003
Daydreaming About DS(HEL)L
The ghost leads them through their company's "easy sign up process" and promises "prompt installation"—then he forgets their orders and charges them penalties for early cancelation.
"Tell me, kind Spirit," the trembling executives implore. "Do these faulty processes foretell the future or can it yet be saved?"
"This is reality now," the ghost sneers back. "Wake up and smell the coffee."
Any executive who wonders why broadband subscription rates aren't growing exponentially in this country needs a visit from that ghost. Or better still, experience with a DSL service provider like Earthlink-Covad.
When we bought our first home, I called Earthlink to transfer DSL service from my apartment to our new residence. DSL is a fiercely competitive business, and the neighborhood is serviced by several other broadband providers including Comcast Cable and SBC-Yahoo! DSL (from whom Earthlink leases its connections). But I preferred to stick with Earthlink so I could retain several email addresses that had acquired the patina of old age.
The first Earthlink customer service rep took my DSL order and after a lengthy phone call in which I provided more information than an applicant for citizenship, promised that DSL would be installed shortly at the new home. But when I checked the status of my order a few weeks later, the company's web-based status systems had no record of it. None. Zippo. Nada.
The second customer service rep apologized for this "oversight," took my personal information again, and put me on hold for several minutes. When she returned, she explained that because my home was too far from the phone company's central office, Earthlink could not service it at all.
"I'm confused," I said. "Your company took my order earlier, and now it can't?"
"We shouldn't have taken it in the first place," she said.
"And SBC services this address, but you can't?"
"We don't provide different qualities of service like they do," she said. "We provide just one level of DSL service and that requires us to ensure you're closer to a central office. We do offer a broadband satellite system to that location if you'd like to sign up for that. It's $69.95 a month."
"Seventy dollars? No thanks."
"Then I'll go ahead and cancel your DSL at the current location," she said, "and assess you the $150 cancellation fee for early termination."
"Early termination?" I cried. "I called you to request DSL service. You're capable of providing that DSL service. And even though you're choosing not to provide me with an option to receive a slower speed DSL service, I'm being hit with a fee?"
"You could convert your account to dial up, rather than canceling it," she offered. "That's about $20 a month."
"How does that do me any good?"
"I don't know," she said. "It's just an option I'm supposed to give you."
If that ghost ever visits the executives at Earthlink, I hope he offers them as many options as they offered me.