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Published: Sep 16, 2005 01:41 PM
Thu - October 16, 2003
Hell Freezes Over: iTunes Now Does Windows
Apple releases iTunes for Windows as
the music industry holds its collective breath.
It's
both baseball season and the the release date of iTunes for Windows, so
you must forgive this flight of
fancy:
MIGHTY iTUNES LEAVES THE MAC
The outlook wasn't bright for music's best that day
They'd sued their fans, subpoenaed LANs, and still teens wouldn't pay.
And when eMusic's profits lagged and PressPlay gasped for cash,
A pall-like silence fell upon the industry's top brass.
A straggling few, in deep despair, hid cowering 'neath their desks.
The rest clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, "if only Steven could get a whack at that.
We'd have a fighting chance if he moved iTunes off the Mac."
But Liquid preceded Apple as did MP3.com
And the former is now bankrupt, while the latter struggles on.
So upon musical multitudes, grim melancholy sat;
for there seemed but little chance of getting iTunes off the Mac.
But it turned out fans want singles, to the wonderment of all.
And Napster, though despised, taught downloading skills with gall.
And when their fog had lifted,
and men saw what had occurred,
they found fans with wallets open waiting patiently in herds.
Then from a dozen CEOs there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the Valley, it rattled desks at Dell.
It pounded through Seattle where Real Networks' Glaser sat;
for Steven, mighty Steven, said his team would take a crack.
There was ease in Steven's manner as he stepped into his place,
there was pride in Steven's bearing and a smile lit Steven's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he mocked the Beatles' spat,
no stranger in the crowd could doubt iTunes would leave the Mac.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with glee.
Five thousand tongues applauded when he said, "No monthly fee."
Then, as the watching analysts predicted he would slip,
defiance flashed in Steven's eye, a sneer curled Steven's lip.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his coders code,
and they knew that Steven aimed to strike pop music's mother lode.
And now hell freezes over, and now all lights read "Go!"
and now iTunes has been released for PCs on Win-dows.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
But is there joy in music land?
Stand by—we'll soon find out.
MIGHTY iTUNES LEAVES THE MAC
The outlook wasn't bright for music's best that day
They'd sued their fans, subpoenaed LANs, and still teens wouldn't pay.
And when eMusic's profits lagged and PressPlay gasped for cash,
A pall-like silence fell upon the industry's top brass.
A straggling few, in deep despair, hid cowering 'neath their desks.
The rest clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast.
They thought, "if only Steven could get a whack at that.
We'd have a fighting chance if he moved iTunes off the Mac."
But Liquid preceded Apple as did MP3.com
And the former is now bankrupt, while the latter struggles on.
So upon musical multitudes, grim melancholy sat;
for there seemed but little chance of getting iTunes off the Mac.
But it turned out fans want singles, to the wonderment of all.
And Napster, though despised, taught downloading skills with gall.
And when their fog had lifted,
and men saw what had occurred,
they found fans with wallets open waiting patiently in herds.
Then from a dozen CEOs there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the Valley, it rattled desks at Dell.
It pounded through Seattle where Real Networks' Glaser sat;
for Steven, mighty Steven, said his team would take a crack.
There was ease in Steven's manner as he stepped into his place,
there was pride in Steven's bearing and a smile lit Steven's face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he mocked the Beatles' spat,
no stranger in the crowd could doubt iTunes would leave the Mac.
Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with glee.
Five thousand tongues applauded when he said, "No monthly fee."
Then, as the watching analysts predicted he would slip,
defiance flashed in Steven's eye, a sneer curled Steven's lip.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his coders code,
and they knew that Steven aimed to strike pop music's mother lode.
And now hell freezes over, and now all lights read "Go!"
and now iTunes has been released for PCs on Win-dows.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright.
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And, somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout,
But is there joy in music land?
Stand by—we'll soon find out.