Kierkegaard 


This is mildly scary. 

Over the past couple of months, I've told many people that I've been having an existential crisis. It's complicated and I'm feeling better about things now, so I won't go into it here. But, I've also had the name "Kierkegaard" stuck in my head for reasons that, until now, where a mystery. I didn't even know (consciously) who or what this "Kierkegaard" was until I just looked him up in Wikipedia and found out that he was a Danish existential philosopher from the 19th century, a Christian existentialist, no less.

I guess that my unconscious or subconscious or whatever is trying to tell me to look this guy up. I have and I'll read a bit about him in between scholarship/fellowship applications, job applications and research papers.

In other news, I am obsessive compulsive. I turned in my Carnegie fellowship application yesterday and have been dwelling over three extra words that I put into one of my essay's last paragraphs. In the blog entry before this you will find my "Thought Piece" for the application. In the last paragraph it says, "Since Deng Xiaoping's reforms in the 1980s..." Well, I decided to be a bit more specific in the essay that I finally submitted and, among some other changes, revised that sentence to read, "Since former Chinese President Deng Xiaoping's reforms in the 1980s..." That's a mouthful and slightly unnecessary; anyone who reads the essay will know who Deng was.

I am slightly flipping out about this, otherwise I feel pretty good about the application and my day yesterday. I met with a Chinese musicologist from Hong Kong for breakfast. He will be helping me with my music and identity research for my Tradition in Modern China class. I also gave my dad and his friend Susan a tour around campus yesterday. Seeing people that I know and knowing things about places also made me feel good.

So, right now I'm freaking out over three additional words. Are my fears justified?

No.
 

Posted: Wed - November 16, 2005 at 09:38 AM          

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