Prae's nephew and I fold sheets of gold foil-covered paper that are supposed to resemble money. They will be burned in the days leading up to her father's cremation in a ceremony called kong tek. It is a Chinese ceremony in which things are burned that the dead will need in the afterlife.
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Meals took place on the floor in front of the coffin, where a 24-hour vigil had to keep a candle and incense stick lit.
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Money for the afterlife begins to pile up.
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Three times a day for six days, monks came to chant. The evenings would draw the most friends and family. It became my job to serve the monks drinks upon their arrival, which is a lot harder than it sounds. It involved shuffling on my knees, bowing correctly, serving with two hands, bowing again and then moving to the next monk.
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Check back with me when I've learned more about Buddhism, and I'll tell you why the monks sometimes hold a string when they chant.
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Soup was served to the friends and family who came for the evening service. I do not know the significance of this -- if it is, indeed, anything more than hospitality, and I'm pretty sure it is -- but it was, for the record, some of the best wonton soup I have ever had.
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From left, Prae's niece Mew, brother Hoar, niece Beem and nephew Ming burn symbolic money.
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Prae's brother Dtee and her nephew Ming. Please forgive the spellings. I am still doing my best keeping track of unfamiliar names.
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A photo of Prae's father sits on an easel between the coffin and the chanting monks. Funerary chants involve the use of "fans" that cover the monks' faces during different parts of the chanting.
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The color of mourning is white, and as an element of the Chinese part of the many services, the family dressed in natural cotton cloth clothing made rudimentarily for the ocassion.
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Prae bows as the monks chant. Behind her, her mother performs a water-pouring ceremony in which she essentially prays for her late husband. The water from the bowl is poured on the base of a tree outside, which is intended to carry those prayers to his spirit.
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On the evening before the cremation, two of Prae's brothers and one nephew prepared to become ordained as monks. Some choose to do this for just a day; Prae's brothers chose to stay monks for a month and four months. Lim has his head and eyebrows shaved by a monk in preparation for a 4:30 a.m. ceremony from which he will return in robes and due all the respect of any monk -- the king would have to bow to him.
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On the morning of the cremation, Prae's brother Uee has returned a monk. His brother Dtee, left, has an early morning cigarette.
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When Prae's nephew Chai returned as a monk, he seemed very pleased that I bowed to him as I had been taught to do with any monk. But when he went to return his regular clothes to his mother, and she backed away from him, because women are not to be near monks, he seemed a little put-out.
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Lim and his son do their best to adjust their robes.
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Prae and I on the day of her father's cremation. All the family posed for photos in their mourning white.
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As part of the funerary rites, items representing earthly wealth are burned for use of the departed one in the afterlife.
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There is actually a whole industry supplying flammable products of earthly goods: cars, houses, cell phones, watches, "Other World" credit cards that resemble a gold American Express card.
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Even a first-class ticket on Hell & Paradise Airlines. This Chinese tradition dates back to the beginnings of China. We've all heard of the thousands of clay figures buried with the emperor. Apparently before that emperor -- I think it was Chin, for whom China was named -- they used to bury real people and animals. That proved impractical and it later became clay figures representing armies an livestock and necessities of an emperor on this earth. Later, that too proved impractical and costly, and so was started the practice of burning effigies.
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Prae, her mother, sister and five brothers.
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Before the cremation ceremony, a Chinese ceremony was held in which specific foods are offered to the dead. Each family member offers a different food, and in front of the coffin is a tremendous groaning board by the end of the ceremony.
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Relatives and friends perfom a last tribute before the coffin is taken to the temple.
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Prae carries out a paper trunk that will be burned in the side yard with all the other worldly riches.
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The large yellow ovals represent money.
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Somewhat like an interworld money transfer, the riches go up in smoke as Prae's brother, Lim, watches.
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The coffin is loaded into a truck laden with the wreaths of flowers friends and family have sent. On this procession to the temple, the candle that has been kept burning all week must stay lit. Its flame will light the crematory fire.
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Prae called the temple simply "The Jungle Temple," although I know it has another name that I cannot pronounce or remember. It is about 3 miles outside of town in a forest setting, and it is one of the most peaceful places I have seen or heard in Thailand. The main temple building itself is stark in its simplicity -- bare concrete walls and a corrugated roof. By that description, it sounds horrid, but it is in this simplicity in this natural setting that to me made it so strikingly spiritual. A massive frangipani stood by the opening at one end. At the other end, inside nearly two dozen monks sat to chant the service. in front of the wall behind them was a golden Buddha statue, and on the wall was a beautiful painting depicting the bhodi tree under which Siddartha Gotama attained enlightenment, thus becoming a Buddha.
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Illuminated by only natural light, the temple is as spectacular as many cathedrals.
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After waking before 4 to become ordained, Prae's nephew had run out of steam by the mid-afternoon service.
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A monk leads the service.
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Guests, most of whom have been sitting on chairs outside under trees while the service commences in the temple, pay their respects one last time to Prae's father.
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A final procession leads to the outdoor crematorium.
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Two final effigies, a male and female servant, will be burned with the body.
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The coffin is hoisted into an open-air crematorium. It is made of cement and firebrick, and the combustion comes from kerosene, as best as I could determine from the odor. There is a sort of shallow pit at the top of the stairs into which the coffin is placed.
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Once the coffin is in place, monks remove the top, allowing Prae's family a last look.
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And the fire is lit with the candle that was kept burning night and day since Prae's father's death almost six days before. Here is the point that was the most emotional and possibly horrifying. Personally, I had speculated about the smell, I recalled the days after the tsunami when crematoria were going non-stop in Phuket, and the odor was in the air. Strangely, however, there was not the familiar odor one associates with human flesh. I don't know if the monks add something to the fire, but that part was not stomach-turning at all. In fact, strange as it may seem, none of it was. It kept making me think of "Ashes to ashes ...," and it seemed to me that this very American term "closure" we all seem to be looking for was right here at hand for this family.
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Sun streaked through the initial smoke of the fire, creating in some ways an eerie effect, but in other ways it could be seen as almost comforting, knowing that the flesh and bones of this man were once again going back to the nature from whence they came. As Prae stood with her back to me as I took this photograph, she did not notice the butterfly that circled the beautiful clearing in the jungle. It was one of those butterflies with black velvety underwings and iridescent blue top wings. Before then I had only seen that type of butterfly pressed between glass and sold at a souvenir stand. Butterflies are the symbol of Hospice in the U.S., and if I remember correctly, this is because some believe the spirit is carried to heaven by butterflies. I like that thought very much, and I liked it a lot more, seeing the dazzling shiny blue of those wings juxtaposed with the black undersides fluttering casually about the clearing. At that moment, it was a lovely end to a fascinating ceremony that was not horrifying at all but rather very natural and peaceful.
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