Bumper to Bumper, to a point

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© 2004 R.C. Barajas

he ample hind end of the SUV is thrumming above my car, its taillights blazing, its license plate vibrating in rage. The glinting Bush/Cheney ‘04 bumper sticker is placed with precision on the rear window, somewhat to the right of the huge American flag decal, which, I muse, must impede the driver’s view despite the vast tracts of glass that cover the lower forty of his vehicle. When the light turns green, the SUV thunders off, the blackened exhaust pipe waggling at me like a tutting finger.

Here at this traffic signal, almost touching for a moment in time, were two drivers in two automobiles, each idling impatiently on opposite ends of the current political roadway, each waiting for that green light. He in his late model SUV, I in my brand new Toyota Prius, with its gas conserving, zero-emissions Hybrid engine. I have two Kerry/Edwards ’04 stickers on my rear window – one in English and one in Spanish – and I feel so smug I could just about die. 

However, nose to ass in traffic as we were, (his ass, my nose), the SUV driver couldn’t even see me – or my bumper stickers for that matter – so I was entirely alone in my compare-and -contrast-the-following-characters moment. His opinions were in my face, and mine, invisible to him, were tattooed on my rear end. With no cars behind me, my stickers were mute, crying out to no one.

It is very irritating to be so ignored. How much more obvious can I be? Should I have pulled around his massive vehicle, cutting in front of him to show off my Kerry/Edward stickered, Prius-driving rebuttal? Perhaps I should consider putting on more bumper stickers, papering the front and back so I can catch ‘em all coming and going. Hey! I’m a liberal! A tree-hugger! Pro-family, pro-choice! I support separation of church and state! I believe in the Geneva Convention! War is not the Answer! Send W back to Texas! Jon Stewart for President! I heart the French! Come and get me, you! Wouldn’t that be great?

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