Dressing for the Theater

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et's just say there is no less fuss about what to wear to a show nowadays than there used to be. Satin, velvet, theater-length gloves and opera glasses are rare, but the statement one's going-out clothes and accessories make about one's place in society is equally vital. It's just that now the language is coarser and there is much, much less fabric involved.

I don't go to a lot of theater these days -- have seen almost nothing since moving to the DC area. This is not a reflection on the quality of theater in the nation's capital; it's a reality of having three kids and a budget that may have a modest column for Legos, but not, sadly, for the lively arts.

My friend Nancy had invited me to my first adult theater experience since leaving the west. It was so adult in fact that Ticketmaster warned ABSOLUTELY NO CHILDREN were allowed. An obvious caution, really, when one is buying tickets for The Vagina Monologues. But then, some parents are more permissive than others, I guess.

How does one dress for The Vagina Monologues, I wondered? Jeans, flannel, and work boots perhaps being a tad obvious -- and more West Coast in flavor. A skirt was too... femmy. No make-up was a given, and I could pretty much leave my hair as it was. My uncertainty lay in the deceptive simplicity -- how easy it would be to underestimate the task and show up looking either like a lesbian wanna be or a tourist. Alas, it was unseasonably warm, so just hiding under a black overcoat would not bail me out.

Ridiculous, perhaps, to dress so carefully for an event at which I will know no one.

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