I’ve made no secret about my disapproval of Michael Bay.  The man is a walking anathema for horror movies.  His abysmal remakes of classic scare fare like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hitcher leads one to wonder if he was somehow wronged by the genre as a child.  Maybe Leatherface buzzsawed his bicycle tires or perhaps John Ryder ran over his puppy.

Regardless of the reason, it seems that Bay has made it his mission to sully the beloved movies of my youth and thus he has raised my ire and made me scorn his very existence.

Which makes this announcement hard to reconcile. 

Fate it seems is not without a sense of humor and thus it has placed the venerable Jackie Earle Haley as the Christmas-sweater-wearing, razor-gloved Freddy Krueger in an attempt to torment me.

Haley was easily my favorite part of Watchmen and in a lot of ways his role as Rorschach has parallels to Freddy.  Being able to spout gallows humor quips while maintaining a sense of menace is a fundamental quality of both these characters and Haley has already shown he’s up to the task.  Off hand I can’t really think of anyone as qualified or more desirable to take over for Robert Englund.

So now I’m torn. 

Do I ignore this remake because of my loathing for Bay and his shit-equivalent of the Midas touch or do I give Haley the benefit of the doubt and assume he can pull this picture through?

Guess I’ll have to wait and see how things develop, but there’s this twinge inside me that might just be hope.

That said, Michael Bay can still engage his mandibles on my luminescent alloy posterior.

-Quoth the Raven

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