Methods of Persuasion
06/28/09 06:00 PM
One of the unique things about Henson’s creations, beyond the obvious artistry of their construction, was the complex nature of their personalities. Even as a kid I remember being aware of the subversive nature of what Henson was doing. Here were these fuzzy, felt creatures that looked like three-dimensional versions of children’s cartoon characters, but which spoke and acted like full-grown adults. The dialogue was filled with sophisticated, often acerbic, wit and thinly-veiled innuendo in nearly every scene.
Seeing The Muppet Show at that tender age was a revelation for me and it helped shape my understanding of both humor and art. As unexpected and unfiltered as Henson’s opus was, it turns out that he was even edgier back in his early days. Check out these ads for Wilkins Coffee featuring a pair of proto-Muppets.
Needless to say these commercials make watching Kermit rag on Miss Piggy about her choice of outfit seem positively tame by comparison. I know Stadler and Waldorf were pretty harsh critics, but neither of them ever put a bullet through Gonzo’s beak over one of his failed Evil Knievel-inspired stunts, though secretly I’m sure they wanted to.
I can’t imagine what viewers seeing these spots thought, but I’m willing to bet they didn’t go over so well. Thankfully the feedback from the experience probably saved Henson from having his later work yanked from the air before it ever found its audience.
Still, it would’ve been quite a sight to see Bunsen throw Beaker into an industrial blender and let the red felt fly.
Hmmm, maybe I should stop watching gory horror flicks right before I type these up.
-Quoth the Raven
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Return of the Weird One
06/16/09 09:02 PM
The lyrics are Al’s usual blend of observational witticism and humor. His ability to hold a magnifying glass up to the fads and ephemera that grip our collective culture and then turn those phenomena back in on themselves is one of the secrets to his longevity.
Yankovic’s other great talent is his dedication to recreation. As with his previous hits, the musical impersonation in this tune is shockingly accurate with Al and the band taking bits from Door’s classics like “Light My Fire” “Strange Days” “Riders On The Storm” and “The End” and mixing them into a melange that sounds like it could be a lost track from the band’s actual catalogue.
The video, created by Liam Lynch, plays like an homage to the Oliver Stone biopic. I must say I was a bit shocked at the visual similarity created between Yankovic and The Lizard King when Al dawns Morrison’s trademark silver-belted leather pants and ruffled white shirt.
So without further ado, here’s Craigslist by Weird Al Yankovic.
Enjoy the weirdness.
Added: Turns out the Door’s own Ray Manzarek is playing keyboards on the track. I guess that makes it bonafide.
-Quoth the Raven
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Futurama Is Back Again!
06/09/09 06:12 PM
The show has had 26 new episodes ordered which will begin airing in 2010 on Comedy Central.
Ya hear that Fox! You can bite our shiny metal asses!
What’s that you say? Comedy Central is owned by 20th Century Fox?
Eh, I stand by my statement.
-Quoth the Raven
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Huge Rhythm Game Sale!
06/09/09 11:40 AM
Anyone who’s been holding off on buying Rock Band 2 or Guitar Hero World Tour needs to check out this sale!
Everything is half off and the stuff is all new, despite the boxes being a bit shopworn from extended storage.
It’s first come, first serve, so get a move on!
That is all.
-Quoth the Raven
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Film Review: Drag Me To Hell
05/31/09 09:16 PM
When Spiderman premiered in 2002, Sam Raimi instantly became a household name. Everyone wanted to know where this director who had such a knack for vibrant, kinetic visuals came from. To most Raimi was a complete unknown before getting behind the camera to helm the ongoing adventures of everyone’s favorite web-slinger. For a few of us however, Raimi had already given us a superhero years earlier and that hero’s name was Ash Williams.
Evil Dead II is the epitome of a cult film. I first heard about it from a friend of a friend whose older brother had a bootleg of the movie. I remember being hunkered down in a suburban basement with a group of fellow film buffs watching a warped VHS dub as we all vied for space around the nineteen-inch television screen.
What I saw that day changed my perception of movies forever. Here was a film that was both frightening and funny in a way that had only been hinted at in movies like A Nightmare On Elm Street. These seemingly disparate elements were blended with a ragged energy that I’d never experienced before. Even more profound was the realization that the filmmaker was having fun. Raimi’s enthusiasm was apparent on every frame as he gleefully put Bruce Campbell through the wringer again and again.
I think the Evil Dead trilogy benefitted from being homemade movies with an underground following because it allowed Raimi to make them the way he wanted to without worrying about things like market demographics or test screenings.
The reason I bring all this up is because Drag Me To Hell is Raimi returning to his roots. It is in essence an indie film made by a man who no longer has to scrounge to create his art, but understands the value of doing things on your own terms.
Spoilers Ahead
Our story opens with a young boy who has been cursed for stealing a necklace from a gypsy’s wagon. The child’s family brings him to a healer who attempts to rid him of his affliction, but ultimately she is unable to stop the wheels already set in motion and watches helplessly as the child is hurled around the room by an unseen force and dragged to the fiery depths below through a large hole in the floor.
We fast forward many years later where loan officer Christine Brown, played by Alison Lohman, is angling for a promotion, but is told by her boss Mr. Jacks that she’s too easy on the hard-luck cases that come into the bank. Christine assures Jacks that she can “make the tough decisions” and proceeds to demonstrate by denying an elderly, bedraggled gypsy named Mrs. Ganush, played brilliantly by Lorna Raver, an extension on her mortgage.
Ganush pleads with Christine, but she refuses to acquiesce and when the old woman starts getting physical Brown calls in security, which shames Ganush and causes her to curse Brown, though only through the use of garbled profanities.
Later as Christine’s leaving work Ganush confronts her again in the parking garage and the two proceed to have a knockdown, drag-out fight, which ends with Ganush cursing Christine again, this time with the gypsy variety.
Christine is understandably shaken by the encounter and goes with her boyfriend, played by Justin Long, to a fortuneteller to assuage her fears. Unfortunately the mystic confirms Ganush’s curse and says that Christine has been marked by the Lamia who will come to collect her soul in three days.
What follows is a series of torments that only Raimi could devise.
Always a fan of using everyday objects to make the familiar frightening, the director gives Christine no quarter as the items in her house all conspire to plunge her into ever deepening levels of terror. Raimi’s love of gross-out effects also comes into play during several cringe inducing moments that’ll make you want to avoid eating any big meals before viewing the movie, especially after learning that the production used actual creepy crawlers rather than CGI insects for the various hordes and swarms.
One of the other hallmarks of this film is the comedy. Many of the most intense scenes are laced with moments of hilarity that cause you to drop your guard just long enough to get the daylights scared out of you a second later. This dark humor also provides some wonderful character development as the tension mounts and desperation makes our protagonist do things she would normally never consider.
The supernatural disturbances continue to escalate and Christine eventually employs the help of the fortuneteller and his associate, the healer from the beginning, to help rid her of the curse. The healer tells Christine that she will let the Lamia possess her and then pass the demon’s spirit into a ritual animal, in this case a goat, which will then be slaughtered thereby lifting the curse. Needless to say, things don’t go according to plan.
I won’t reveal any more, as the ending to this film really needs to be experienced without any foreknowledge of the events. What I will say is that I thoroughly enjoyed the conclusion and everything that preceded it. This film frightened and entertained without resorting to the myriad of modern Horror clichés that I personally believe have been degrading the genre in recent years and for that alone it should be applauded.
Fans of Rami’s early films won’t be disappointed. Had Bruce Campbell been in the lead role it would’ve almost certainly been branded as the fourth installment in the Evil Dead series. Personally I’m glad that wasn’t the case as Lohman did a tremendous job and really gave us something new to enjoy through her performance.
Overall I give Drag Me To Hell five out of five feathers.
If you like Horror films or good cinema in general, then you owe it to yourself to see this movie.
I guarantee you’ll laugh yourself silly when you aren’t jumping out of your seat in fright.
-Quoth the Raven
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Your Weekend Assignment...
05/28/09 06:02 PM
Here’s all you need to know:
- It’s an old-school fright film written and directed by Sam Raimi, you know the guy who did those Bruce Campbell movies, and looks to be a glorious return to his roots.
- It combines humor and horror in a way that for once doesn’t center on a pack of myopic, moronic, sex-starved teens and their wacky hijinks.
And last but not least...
-It has absolutely nothing to do with J-Horror, Torture Porn, Remakes/Reimaginings or any of the other hackneyed, cliché frameworks that have been choking the life out of the Horror genre over the last several years.
Seriously, all you silver screen scream freaks need to see this film. It currently has a 95% at Rotten Tomatoes, a feat that’s all but unheard of for a horror movie on the site.
For those of you who just can’t make it over the weekend, or for some reason actually value my opinion, look for my review to appear on Sunday.
-Quoth the Raven
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Fanboy Joy!
05/18/09 08:59 PM
This news was unexpected to say the least given the show's rather lackluster ratings during its season one run. Even Whedon himself seemed shocked by the news.
I've watched this show since the beginning and enjoyed it, but having said that I'll be the first to admit that the initial episodes were a bit formulaic and didn't really pull me in the way I'd assumed they would. I'm a big fan of all Whedon's previous television work, but when I started watching Dollhouse it didn't really feel like one of his shows. The first five episodes had a very paint-by-numbers approach, a style that was apparently mandated by Fox to be that way in order to "ease viewers into the series".
Not surprisingly the network's idea backfired and a lot of people stopped watching before it actually got good. This became such a problem that Whedon and the show's star Eliza Dushku had to keep telling people in interviews, "just wait for episode six".
This fabled sixth episode, titled "Man On the Street", finally let Joss do his thing and the show instantly improved. The series started to find its footing and get a feel for its identity in addition to gaining a momentum that was carried through to the end of the season.
Despite my earlier comments, I don’t advise skipping to the middle of the series to "get to the good part" as you’d end up missing out on all the setup, which is rather crucial.
Hulu still has the last few episodes of the season online, but if you’re new to the show you’ll want to wait for the DVD set to come out so you can rent them and start from the beginning. The DVDs also contain the unaired 13th episode, titled “Epitaph One”, which is the true season finale and according to Whedon will factor in heavily to the ongoing story.
I don’t know whether Dollhouse will end up realizing its full potential in the second season or garner the kind of ratings it needs to continue on for future years. Either way I’m happy that the show has been given a chance to grow.
At the very least this reprieve from the jaws of cancelation is a fitting penance for Fox's undue dismissal of Whedon's last series.
We Browncoats may eventually forgive Fox, but we'll never forget.
-Quoth the Raven
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Persistence Is Key
05/07/09 11:28 PM
As it turned out though, Jackson wasn’t signed on to direct Halo, but rather had been attached as executive producer. The man chosen to helm the film was an unknown South African visual effects wizard named Neill Blomkamp. Halo was slated to be Blomkamp’s feature-length directorial debut and at the time I thought it a bit odd to entrust such a large project to a man whose only previous experience in the director’s chair was a six-minute short film called “Alive In Joburg”.
Shortly after the announcement I read an interview with Blomkamp that began to change my mind. In it he talked about his desire to make an original movie that captured the reality of the world and the inhabitants on it. When asked about Master Chief possibly being created in CGI Blomkamp said:
“Well, the film has to have a feeling of reality, and so that means that I want to keep him real as much as I can, there is a necessity for him to become cg in sequences where a guy in a suit would just not work, but for the most part I am aiming for real.”
Having an effects guy tell you that he’s more concerned with realism than flashy visuals is a fairly unusual statement. Still, I wasn’t totally convinced of his sincerity until I got the opportunity to watch the aforementioned Alive In Joburg for myself.
After viewing that piece and seeing how well he blended the fantastic elements with the grit of the real world I was a believer. The piece had a documentary feel to it, but it blended the aliens in to the point where I didn’t blink twice upon seeing them in the frame. Even the robotic suits, which stood out a bit more obviously, seemed like they were in the world rather than pasted on top of it.
Blomkamp had the right vision and visual sense to make Halo an incredible movie, but unfortunately he never got the chance.
The years that followed that buzz-filled summer of ’06 saw Halo’s planned production off and on again more times than a prom dress. At last count the film was supposedly on temporary hiatus and set to emerge sometime in 2012, but by most accounts even that far-away date is shaky at best.
So what became of poor Neill Blomkamp?
He and Jackson must’ve hit it off pretty well because the two have paired up to turn Blomkamp’s Alive In Joburg into a full-length feature called District 9.
The movie is set to come out in August of this year and there’s currently a trailer available.
I suppose the lesson to be learned here is that forging ahead with your dreams in the face of adversity really can make them come true.
Staying friendly with Peter Jackson probably doesn’t hurt either.
-Quoth the Raven
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Get Off My Lawn You Rotten Punks!
05/05/09 07:00 PM
The latter title, Peggle, was created by a wonderful studio called PopCap Games that just released a new game this week that combines several intriguing elements.
Element One: Defensive Strategy.
Element Two: Quick Reflexes.
Element Three: Gardening & The Undead.
Plants vs. Zombies is a new take on the tower defense genre that asks you to harness your inner cranky old man as you attempt to protect the homestead by transforming your humble suburban yard into a flora fortified fortress.
The game begins with a freshly-sewn patch of sod and a pallet of plants, each with their own unique capabilities. You start off with the Sun Flower, which is the most basic unit in the game. Once planted these giant daises help generate sunshine, appearing on-screen as little floating cartoon suns, that you collect by clicking on them. After you accumulate enough sun points you can then use them to purchase the other plants in the game. Sun Flowers are one of the most essential units and are especially critical during night scenarios when they become your only source of solar energy.
In terms of firepower, one of the first units you get access to is a front firing canon called the Pea Shooter. This legume spewing turret, which bears a striking resemblance to Birdo from SMB 2, shoots a steady stream of ammo from whichever row and section you plant it in. In addition to artillery, the other two major types of combative units are various stationary defensive impediments used to temporarily block or disable the enemy, and a myriad of explosives, which do just what you’d expect them to.
There are many variations of these three unit types, each with a different cost and ability. As you progress you unlock more and more of these items, which is fortunate since your undead adversaries also continue to evolve.
The zombies come at you slowly at first, approaching in one of six rows and you have to make sure that each row has sufficient defenses to stop them from reaching your door at the end of the yard. Sometimes your adversaries spread out and other times you’ll get several in the same row. As time goes on the numbers increase and before you know it you’re dealing with an all-out infestation fighting desperately to keep up with the horde.
Beyond this brief description, the best way to understand the game is simply to play it, which you can do by downloading the free demo. (PC & Intel Mac, sorry Linux and PPC Mac users)
My own experience went something like this:
- Downloaded the demo last night and found myself amused for the first few minutes.
- Amusement quickly turned to determination as the walking dead began to swarm.
- Determination turned to engrossment as time began slipping away at an alarming pace.
- Realized I’d been loafing for half an hour and there was house work that needed doing.
- Reluctantly pulled myself away from computer to do some dishes.
- Accidentally left game running.
- Came back to game to discover that I’d burned through my hour of free playtime.
- Screen came up allowing me to buy the game and continue my lawn-defending quest.
- Utterly powerless to resist siren song of game.
- Purchased full Mac version and spent the next three hours playing.
- Found it very hard to leave for work this morning as I stared longingly at my laptop.
Those looking for other persuasive media beyond the demo can check out the trailer as well as this highly amusing music video.
I’m certain that many of you will become as addicted to this game as I have. It’s well worth the twenty bucks for the full version.
In the meantime, keep that grass clean, green and zombie free!
The neighborhood beautification council is counting on you!
-Quoth the Raven
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Elm Street Coming to the Windy City
04/29/09 07:27 AM
Now it’s been announced that the filming location for the new Elm Street will be in none other than my hometown of Chicago and students from two local suburban high schools are being given the opportunity to get in on the act.
Personally I’m not sure how I’d feel about being an active participant in the film series that fueled so many of my adolescent nightmares. That said, the Krueger movies are one of the reasons I got into the horror genre and a part of me thinks it might be pretty cool, and possibly therapeutic, to have the chance to be eviscerated by the gloved wonder himself.
It’s probably for the best that I’m too old to qualify since I no longer have the time to spend night after night avoiding sleep at all costs or the constitution to consume can after can of Coke in order to do so.
That level of fright is best left to the young or at least people less jumpy and accident prone than yours truly.
-Quoth the Raven
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Phair Returning From Major Label Exile?
04/25/09 01:25 PM
For those not familiar with Liz Phair, she burst onto the alternative music scene in ’93 with her first studio album Exile In Guyville. That record garnered a huge amount of acclaim that Phair has spent the rest of her career trying to live up to.
Her followup album Whip-Smart went on to sell even more copies than Guyville, but all anyone seemed to want to talk about was her debut. This sentiment persisted with the release of her third record Whitechocaolatespaceegg and shortly after that Phair disappeared for five years eventually reemerging on major label Capitol Records in 2003.
And that's when the bad thing happened.
There’s been a lot of speculation as to why Phair altered her routine and started working with teenie-bopper, hit-makers The Matrix on her self-titled album and the subsequent followup Somebody's Miracle. A lot of people thought it was a grab for mainstream acceptance and the financial perks that go with having radio-friendly albums. I think there may be something to this theory, but I don’t buy it as the primary reason that Phair changed gears. You don’t write a song called WHC, which stands for White Hot Cum, with the intention of getting major commercial airplay.
I think Phair was tired of people expecting her to make another Guyville and angry that she couldn’t appease either the fans or the critics by doing her own thing. I’ve always thought Whip-Smart and Spaceegg were both criminally underrated by many people, especially the latter of the two. This is a subject that's near and dear to my heart and one I’ve discussed before in a less gentile manner.
To hear her now say that it was more pressure from the label than frustration with her musical identity or legacy actually makes me feel a lot better about it. This situation has happened before with countless artists; bands like Radiohead who have a love/hate relationship with their early success, notably with their first hit single. It’s also the same excuse that scores of artists have used about their less than stellar material since the dawn of time, but honestly that doesn’t really matter to me.
As far as I’m concerned she can blame whoever she wants. If it means that Phair will go back to making records of substance, albums like her first three, then I’m willing to forgive her just about anything.
Here’s hoping I get that chance.
-Quoth the Raven
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You Can’t Keep A Good Kermit Down
04/23/09 10:15 PM
It seems that while evidence of a new Muppet television show continues to elude fans, despite persistent rumors, a new Muppet movie may be in the works.
This latest attempt at a big screen Muppet adventure is being helmed by Judd Apatow protege Jason Segel, who first attracted the attention of the creative crews at Henson and Disney with his Dracula musical featured in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Segel had already been working on the project outside of the film and when his puppet bloodsuckers found their way into the story the Henson Creature Shop was called in to create the characters used in the production. This collaboration apparently inspired Segel to pitch his idea for a new Muppet movie to the powers-that-be and it appears that Segel impressed the two studios enough to give him a shot.
The screenplay is being written by Segel and Nicholas Stoller, who is also attached to direct the picture. Anyone who wants some early spoilers can check out some impressions of an early draft of the script. Personally I want to be surprised.
This could of course all fall through and a part of me is wary of even getting excited about it, but I just can’t help myself. Even if this doesn’t end up being what I hoped for it will at least be nice to see the gang again if only to find out what they’ve been up to.
I’m certainly hoping that some of the rumors I’ve heard over the years don’t turn out to be true.
-Quoth the Raven
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An Unexpected Development
04/06/09 07:43 PM
Regardless of the reason, it seems that Bay has made it his mission to sully the beloved movies of my youth and thus he has raised my ire and made me scorn his very existence.
Which makes this announcement hard to reconcile.
Fate it seems is not without a sense of humor and thus it has placed the venerable Jackie Earle Haley as the Christmas-sweater-wearing, razor-gloved Freddy Krueger in an attempt to torment me.
Haley was easily my favorite part of Watchmen and in a lot of ways his role as Rorschach has parallels to Freddy. Being able to spout gallows humor quips while maintaining a sense of menace is a fundamental quality of both these characters and Haley has already shown he’s up to the task. Off hand I can’t really think of anyone as qualified or more desirable to take over for Robert Englund.
So now I’m torn.
Do I ignore this remake because of my loathing for Bay and his shit-equivalent of the Midas touch or do I give Haley the benefit of the doubt and assume he can pull this picture through?
Guess I’ll have to wait and see how things develop, but there’s this twinge inside me that might just be hope.
That said, Michael Bay can still engage his mandibles on my luminescent alloy posterior.
-Quoth the Raven
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Film Review: Severance
03/27/09 07:20 PM
Worse still is the fact that this new breed of slasher has amped up the carnage to ludicrous levels and morphed into “torture porn”, whose only rule seems to be the more gore the better. The recent spate of films that have come out over the last few years are completely interchangeable to me and I find this trend disheartening and disappointing.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for blood and guts in horror, but I guess I’d like to think that the genre has more to offer than simply turning stomachs. More than anything I just want to be entertained and simply being grossed out doesn’t do it for me. There has to be something more for me to connect to, be it the characters, the setting, the story or preferably all of the above.
Which brings us to our feature presentation.
Severance is a dyed-in-the-wool slasher film, which revels in its body count every bit as much as the Hostel and Saw franchises do. What makes this film work is the heavy dose of black humor that accompanies the machete mutilations and axe decapitations.
Minor Spoilers Ahead
The film opens with a group of employees off on a mandatory work retreat. It’s the typical wilderness excursion that offices all around the globe participate in where coworkers help each other across rope bridges and engage in matches of capture the flag in order to promote leadership and teamwork.
One key difference with our merry band of cubicle dwellers is that they happen to work for Palisade Defense, a military weapons contractor that, not surprisingly, has made more than a few enemies in the name of supplying land mines and mortars to the oppositions of various warring factions.
On the bus ride to their destination we get to meet our protagonists who are all pretty familiar templates of workplace comedies. You’ve got the earnest, but haggard, boss who still believes in the company, the office beauty that’s the object of constant unwanted advances, the sycophantic brown-noser, the overenthusiastic go-getter, the burned-out lifer, the foreign-exchange coworker and the drug-indulgent, perpetually-partying slacker. These characters may seem rather stock, but the actors do a nice job with the roles and the archetypes get amusingly twisted as our story unfolds
When the group arrives at the “luxury rustic resort” it turns out to be a rundown, old cabin that appears as though it hasn’t been inhabited in several decades. Everyone aside from the boss, sycophant and go-getter are understandably disappointed and when our intrepid band of travelers further investigate their humble abode that disappointment begins to turn to dread as they uncover evidence of the dwelling’s sinister past.
I won’t go into too much detail beyond this point as describing any of the specific scenes would serve to ruin the surprise and this movie is full of surprises. I will say that our heroes find themselves in a great deal of peril and that these situations are simultaneously gruesome and hilarious. That’s not to say that every dramatic moment has a joke planted in it, but the tension is nicely undercut with humor.
For me the comedy was not only my favorite part of the film, but its saving grace. I honestly cannot withstand scene after scene of visceral gore even if the story I’m watching warrants it. At some point I just shut off, not so much because I’m disturbed by the imagery, but because I start to disconnect from it. I think my reaction comes from the fact that I no longer see a character in trouble, just a victim waiting to die and I really have no interest in that kind of exploitation.
The humor in Severance helped me grow attached to the protagonists and it kept me rooting for them. Even the less sympathetic characters still have reasons you want them to stick around. When one of the leads is trapped in a room with a madman on the other side pounding on the door and in the midst of this nail-bitter a funny little moment occurs that hearkens back to an earlier scene it makes the whole thing turn on its head for a second and that’s a wonderful feeling.
The scenario I described above doesn’t actually occur in the film, I told you I wasn’t going to spoil it, but you get the idea. This type of thing happens over and over in the movie and it makes the piece compelling.
A lot of comparisons have been made to another British horror-comedy film, the oft and rightly hailed Shaun of the Dead. While I adore that film, and pretty much everything done by the comedic dream-team of Wright, Pegg and Frost, I feel the need to point out that Severance is a different breed altogether.
As I stated earlier, this is a tried and true gore fest so those expecting a couple of slightly bloody scenes mixed in with their off-beat comedy might find themselves covering their mouths when things start to get gruesome. People squeamish of or easily offended by the current style and intensity of horror films need not apply. You’ve been warned.
For those like me who enjoy horror, but don’t like the mindless brutality that seems to dominate most of the current crop of films, then I heartily recommend you give this one a try. It’s definitely worth the price of admission.
Overall I give Severance 4 out of 5 feathers.
That’s right, I’ve got a ratings system...that I just came up with...right this instant.....dammit now I have to go and make some feather graphics.
Updated: Added feather graphics.
-Quoth the Raven
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Cloud Computing the Future of Gaming?
03/25/09 12:04 AM
According to the article, OnLive plans to let anyone with as little as a laptop Mac or PC play the latest and greatest games without ever needing to upgrade. Those in the console world would have to purchase a small, custom box from the company with minimal specs in order to get the same experience over their television sets.
This certainly sounds like a great idea in theory, but it will be interesting to see if it actually materializes and if it does what the end experience is like.
So what do you guys think?
Is this the wave of the future or simply vaporware in the making?
Added: Looks like the guys at PA read the same article.
-Quoth the Raven
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So It Begins
03/23/09 07:13 AM
Or it would be if I weren’t so blitheringly incompetent.
I’m the kind of customer Netflix loves. The type of person who is somehow incapable of completing the simplest of tasks, like putting a pre-paid-self-sealing-envelope in a letter box. Rather than watching a plethora of films with my subscription, as any rational person would, I opted to pay for the privilege of holding onto a single movie for months on end; not to watch said film over and over, but rather to play an elaborate game of hide-and-seek at which the DVD in question easily outmatched me.
It’s true I could’ve reported the disk as lost, but that would’ve meant publicly acknowledging that I’d been duped by an inanimate plastic disc and I just wasn’t willing to do that.
After nearly a year went by I was ready to admit defeat and quietly cancel my subscription. I was on the site looking for the official process needed to end my misery when I came upon an interesting discovery. Turns out Netflix had started streaming some of their films online which could be viewed for no additional charge using your computer, or better still, a media device hooked up to your television such as the X-Box 360 I’d recently acquired.
Suddenly I was the victor. My incompetence had paid off and they had eliminated the pesky postal part of their mail-delivery service. Now all I had to do was press some buttons on a controller and viola, instant movie. I’m sure that using a game console for this purpose might be daunting to some users, but I was a child of the Atari and Nintendo generations and had spent countless hours of my sun-shunning youth and subsequent “adulthood” mastering such devices; this was something I knew I could handle.
So I plunged headlong into a vast sea of cinema plucking items from my cue and devouring them one after another. In short order I had gone through everything available and once again felt as though I’d been defeated, this time by a rectangular, plastic brick, which had lured me in with promises of riches only to leave the cupboards bare after a few scant weeks of entertainment.
I was disheartened and downtrodden, but then a small ray of hope came to me. One day while riffling through my cue looking for something familiar to occupy my time, I discovered a film that hadn’t been there before. Cautiously I pressed the play button and proceeded to spend the next ninety minutes enraptured by a little gem of a flick that I hadn’t even heard of.
Apparently there were little, benevolent gremlins inside of my Netflix list and they had given my a precious gift. I began to scour the virtual stacks and added to my cue any film with a compelling description or saucy cover. Over the coming days I viewed this trove of curiosities and though many turned out to be ghastly ghouls disguised as celluloid beauties, a few of the movies were genuine treasures like my previous discovery and they gave me a reason to press onward.
This entry marks the introduction of a new series of film reviews for flicks I find off the beaten path using my newly-acquired streaming powers. Heaven knows that no one needs my opinion on something like Watchmen or any of the other blockbusters that are always given enough ink to fill a swimming pool.
Instead I’m going to focus on the overlooked movies that slip by with nary a notice. Films that fall left of center, independents and overseas productions that don’t make the major rags.
The first of these pieces will appear later this week.
I hope we all enjoy this new adventure together. It will undoubtedly take us to some interesting places.
-Quoth the Raven
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Póg Mo Thóin Isn't Gaelic For Good Day
03/17/09 07:14 PM
I can’t remember where I first heard that quote, but it still makes me smile and also makes me proud of my heritage.
The Irish are the only folks I know who not only aren’t ashamed of their caricatured reputation, but actually embrace it. Fond of a good drink, a good song and a good story, the people of the Emerald Isle, their descendants and those unrelated souls who simply are moved by the spirit, choose today to kick up their heals and kick back with a few pints. It’s a cherished time spent with family and friends to recall past revelries whilst celebrating new ones.
Here in Chicago the holiday is treated like Christmas in springtime. We throw massive parades on both the north and south sides of the city, we dye the river green (well greener anyway), we listen to live bands from sunrise to sunset, and we eat and drink till we can’t see straight, though I’m not sure whether it’s the food or alcohol that does it to us.
For a lot of people though, stepping out to celebrate simply isn't possible. So for those of us staying in this holiday, I thought I’d compile a list of ways to have some Irish-inspired fun in the comfort of your own home.
Food:
The traditional emigrant Irish meal is generally comprised of corn beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes, soda bread, and beer or cider.
The corn beef, cabbage, and potatoes are a pretty straightforward recipe. Generally a crock-pot and a pot of boiling water are the only elements you’ll need as far as the actual cooking goes. Preparation obviously takes a bit more, but not much.
The soda bread is a bit trickier, but again none of this is gourmet cuisine. A little time, effort, and practice and you’ll get the knack for it.
For those of legal drinking age, traditional Irish beer is of course Guinness and for the cider drinkers like myself there’s a great import I enjoy called Magners, it’s really lovely stuff.
Music:
So now that you’ve squared your meal away you may want to listen to some music. There’s plenty of wonderful instrumental pieces. Any collection of Jigs and Reels will probably give you a decent feel for the sound.
For some lyrical history you can delve into the infinitely vast world of Irish folk music. There are so many story songs in Irish culture, also known as ”pub songs”, that it’s practically a genre of music onto itself.
If you’re looking for something that combines traditional sounds with a contemporary feel, then there’s really no better band than The Pogues (thought I was going to say U2 didn’t ya). I suggest starting with the older stuff when they still had their original lead singer Shane MacGowan. (MacGowan has since reunited with the band, but was absent for several years and thus didn’t sing on the more recent albums)
Movies:
After you’ve danced yourself silly you may want to wind down with some visual entertainment that doesn’t involve your uncle balancing pint glasses on his forehead.
Those interested in learning about Ireland’s fight for independence should check out Michael Collins. It’s one of Neil Jordan’s best films, which is saying a lot, and Liam Neeson does any incredible job playing the title role. Admittedly it is a somewhat one-sided account of history and I don’t know how fairly Eamon de Valera was portrayed, but even with that caveat the piece is still very moving and gives a sense of the internal conflict that Ireland faced as a nation trying to stand on its own.
For a more modern look at some of the struggles in Ireland check out In the Name of the Father. This film centers on a group of men and women who are brought in for a crime they didn’t commit and forcibly coerced into false confessions. The main event in the movie is the trial of the protagonists by the British Government, but it also deals with the rocky relationship between a father and his wayward son. Like Collins, it’s the leads in this piece that make it so incredible. Daniel Day-Lewis and Peter Postlethwaite turn in breath-taking performances and really represent the heart of the film.
Since I don’t want to come across as the world’s most depressing Irish cinema lover, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite films of all time The Commitments. It’s the story of a group of guys and gals looking to pull themselves up from their working-class doldrums by forming a “Dublin Soul” band. The movie is simultaneously humorous, heart warming, and musically astounding with all the singing and playing performed by the actors on screen. Interesting fact, the actor who plays Deco, the lead singer in the movie, was only 17 when the film was made.
So now you’ve got all the makings for a little home-grown Saint Patrick’s Day celebration. Remember to have fun, be safe, and for f**** sake don’t drink too much.
I'll close with a little saying from the old country.
May those who love us, love us.
And for those who do not love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if he cannot turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles.
So we may know them by their limping.
-Quoth the Raven
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Blast From the Past
03/12/09 10:54 PM
I’d watched several horror films the week before, one of which I’ll be reviewing on this site in the coming days, which made the Netflix gremlins think I’d appreciate ”100 Years of Horror”. This mystery pick turned out out be a TV series from the mid 90’s hosted by 70’s-horror-staple and cinematic Gandalf nemesis Chistopher Lee. Each show is dedicated to a different subject ranging from monsters, mutants and space aliens to psychos, slashers, sadists and everything in between; naturally I went straight for the werewolf episode.
Anyone who’s even vaguely versed in the golden age of monster movies knows that Lon Chaney Jr. is pretty much the godfather of silver-screen actors with body-hair issues. There were arguments made during the show that earlier efforts like Werewolf of London more justly deserved the title, but most will concede that The Wolf Man is still where it all really began.
In the midst of my stroll down lycanthropy lane, an image suddenly came into my mind and then began to fade as abruptly as it had appeared. I grabbed my laptop from the couch before the picture had completely vanished and quickly googled “Werewolf, Frankenstein, Dracula record”. The results came back and I clicked on one of the entries labeled “A Story of Dracula, The Wolfman and Frankenstein” and was greeted with this image:
I knew I was on the right track and after several minutes of additional searching I hit upon this blog entry, which had what I sought.
Contained on the page linked above is the complete audio and imagery from one of my prized childhood possessions. These follow-along stories were big in the 70’s and early 80’s before cable television became ubiquitous across America. The idea was to get kids into reading and what better way than to fill the stories with adventurers, pirates and scary creatures. The iconic monster trilogy above was the best of the bunch; listening to it now I still feel myself being drawn in.
Experiences like this are interesting because they not only make you remember what happened years ago, but also make you recall who you were and how you felt. Nostalgia is really the closest thing to time travel we’ve got and it doesn’t even require a flux capacitor, just a little spark of memory and some persistent internet searching.
So now it’s your turn. Tell me the last time you had a moment that hurled you back in time.
What triggered the event and where did it take you?
I await your rose-tinted answers with bated breath.
-Quoth the Raven
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Beware Of Bear
03/02/09 11:48 PM
How about the same PSA done entirely in the wonderful world of stop-motion.
Check out these claymation safety tips and take notes so that your next trip into the forest winds up better than it does for our intrepid clay camper.
-Quoth the Raven
P.S. Page 33 of Twenty-One is now up.
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Brown Baggin' It
02/11/09 05:58 PM
I can’t tell what medium he’s using for the illustration. It almost looks like colored chalk, except that the work seems too detailed for that. I’m sure one of our Oddlots members with more insight into the craft can tell me what he’s drawing with.
The guy really runs the gambit from original creations to kid icons both new and old. There’s some nostalgia from my childhood like this robot from Blackhole and his larger Robotech buddy, videogame characters like our good friend Toad and the star of Okami and then there’s just the stuff that makes me smile like Trent in Mystic Spiral mode, a Pixar-style Batmobile, m’sieurs Calvin and Hobbes and what I interpretted as some sushi-to-be fighting back.
All of the artwork is really well done and it’s clear this guy has a lot of talent. Unfortunately the company he works for recently went under and he’s currently out of work. Anyone out there with any leads on videogame illustration jobs should give this guy a buzz at the email address linked above.
I wish our mystery lunch artist good luck in the job hunt and I hope that when he does land a new position that he still has time to create more of the wonderful pieces like the ones he’s done so far.
Chin up good sir, you clearly have a gift and I’m certain you’ll land on your feet.
-Quoth the Raven
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Updates and Intrigue
02/03/09 06:07 PM
My schedule has once again become very busy so things may be a bit sporadic, but I will keep trudging forward.
I also have an exciting announcement coming up, but I have to wait until some things are finalized to make it.
Hopefully you find such cryptic tidbits of information titillating and tantalizing rather than just infuriatingly vague.
I'm going to assume it's the former.
-Quoth the Raven
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Sexism and the Seven Dwarves
01/12/09 06:51 PM
In the writing arena they're almost seen as a badge of honor; a sign that you can hack it and have developed a thick enough skin to survive in the rough-and-tumble world of publishing.
Regardless of the medium, putting yourself out there artistically is a difficult and often scary thing to do and no one wants to be told that their efforts aren't up to snuff.
Unfortunately this is the nature of the beast and the best any artist can hope for is that their work is judged fairly and in the case of rejection that the reviewer provides some constructive criticism and perhaps even a few words of encouragement.
What one doesn't generally expect is unmitigated discrimination, especially not the kind that is blatantly spelled out like the example below:
(original source)
I realize this letter was written in 1938, but it's still startling to see such brazen sexual bias. The response seems even more bizarre knowing that the author is also female. Perhaps Ms. Cliane was simply trying to be honest, but her tone seems a bit too passive-aggressive for me to truly believe it. (the scheming witch right below her signature is painfully ironic).
In truth I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. My mother went to college in the 60's and on her first day in a biology course she was singled out by her male professor and told that she was "wasting a seat that could be occupied by a boy".
She went on to ace that class and got her degree in biology, graduating with honors.
I hope that Mary Ford got to pursue her dream, if not at an animation studio then in some fashion, and that she was able to give the finger to close-minded bigots the same way my mother did to that professor.
Incidentally it would be far from the last time my mom flipped the bird figuratively or literally, though these days she usually reserves it for reckless motorists.
Lesson for today: Don't piss off mi madre.
-Quoth the Raven
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Twenty-One Update
01/10/09 01:11 AM
I apologize for the delay. The holidays sidetracked me quite a bit, but as of now I'm back on schedule.
Full speed ahead!
-Quoth the Raven
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Swing and a Miss
01/03/09 09:12 PM
Unfortunately my persistence with that publisher did not pay off and I regret to inform you gentle reader that my efforts were rejected.
I have no qualms with the rejection itself, but I am displeased that it took a full year to receive the reply. Given the publisher's situation the delay was understandable, but I've decided that I am not willing to tie up my work for that period of time again and will be observing a much more stringent set of timetables for future submissions.
I've already sent the rejected piece to a new publisher and I'm hoping to wrap up revisions on a third short story very soon and send it off as well. Additionally I'm coming to a close on Twenty-One and plan to devote the time after its completion solely to short, publishable works with a goal of getting one completed piece done each week.
That's my strategy going forward and I hope I'm able to stick to it.
Wish me luck.
-Quoth the Raven
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