Renowned British actor Edward Woodward passed away yesterday at the age of 79.

Woodward was a staple of UK television starring in the series “Callan” in the seventies and “The Equalizer” in the eighties in addition to numerous other TV and film roles.

My personal knowledge of the man came only a couple years ago, but the meeting was memorable. Woodward played overzealous Neighborhood Watch commander Tom Weaver in Hot Fuzz. The man stole every scene he was in, especially after he was revealed to be one of the ringleaders of the secret and sinister village committee.

The director of the film Edgar Wright wrote a wonderful and touching memorial to Woodward that really encompassed his body of work and how beloved he was as an actor.

His warmth and talent will be sorely missed.

-Quoth the Raven

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I recently ran across a great tool for all us author stalkers.

New Book Alerts is a website that allows you to create a custom list of your favorite writers and receive an email whenever any of them releases a new novel.

I tested it out a bit, searching for some relatively obscure authors, and so far the site has managed to find every name I’ve thrown at it.

If you’re like me and tend to go months or even years not knowing that your favorite writer put out a new book, then you should definitely give this site a try.

-Quoth the Raven

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After more than two years and countless revisions, I’m happy to report that my novella Twenty-One is finally finished. Sections 36, 37, 38 and 39 are now up, thus completing the saga.

I’ve agonized a great deal while creating this story. My style of writing does not immediately lend itself to the Mystery genre, which made certain aspects of the project rather tricky.

More than that though, was the subject matter itself. I tried to ask a question that doesn’t have an easy answer, but I felt was worth discussing. In this climate of Avian-Flu fear and N1H1 terror, the whole thing feels more poignant to me than ever.

I know some of you have waited a long time for this conclusion. Thank you for your patience, interest and continued readership. For those who never got to this one or need a refresher, I’d invite you to start from the beginning and give it a whirl.

I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

-Quoth the Raven

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The grand day is upon us once more. It's time to don your costumes and grab that candy. There are Jack'O'Lanterns to be carved and scores of horror movies to be viewed.

Whatever you all choose to do, I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween. I know I will, even if I have to dispatch some undead hooligans along the way.



-Quoth the Raven

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A little while ago my fellow Oddlots compatriots Einhander and Rude started coming over to my place for a monthly movie night. Some of our recent viewings have been Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer, Delicatessen and the excellent Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, which I recently reviewed.

Our upcoming selection for this month is the much-buzzed-about and finally-released Michael Dougherty film Trick 'r Treat. What many people don’t know is that the film was inspired by a short piece Dougherty created years earlier much the same way Neill Blomkamp made Alive In Joburg before creating District 9.

So without further ado, I present Dougherty's original fright flick Seasons Greetings:



-Quoth the Raven

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I’ve complained many times about the state of the horror film industry; that the prevalence of mindless and plotless Torture-Porn films and cookie-cutter remakes of classic films has left little to admire in the current landscape.

Despite feeling this way, I have made an ardent attempt to keep watching new material so that I can be an honest critic and in the hope that every so often I’ll run across something special.

I’m pleased to report that this is one of those times.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon is both a parody and a loving homage to the history of Slasher films. Our titular hero worships guys like Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger. The catch is that he thinks they’re all real and he isn’t the only one.

In the world of our story Leslie, his mentor and others in his profession view the famous anti-heroes above as legends whose exploits are so renowned that they’ve had films made about them. Leslie is hoping to be the next big thing and as such spends his time honing his craft as a film crew documents his process. Leslie explains how he searches for a victim with the right characteristics and the right circle of friends to prey on. In one memorable scene we watch as Leslie, who’s hidden in the bushes, lures his chosen adversary outside of her work and then closes the door unexpectedly behind her.

The above example is a classic horror-flick jump scare and the film takes great glee illustrating Leslie’s MacGyver technique in rigging the door. Leslie talks at length about the rigors of trying to become an iconic killer, stating that it “takes a lot of cardio” to keep up with a fleeing victim.

One of the most interesting things about the film is the shifting tone. I don’t want to go into too much detail and give away the good bits, but I will say that the film is played straight and that decision informs how the events unfold.

This movie is a masterful dissection of the Slasher genre that honors its conventions while simultaneously subverting them. It is definitely worth checking out and those with a Netflix streaming subscription can do so right now. The rest of you should rent this gem post haste.
Overall I give Behind the Mask four out of five feathers.

It’s a great choice for your upcoming Halloween festivities and is sure to entertain both aficionados and newbies alike with its mixture of humor and horror.

-Quoth the Raven

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Just wanted to drop a quick line to remind people about the delicious, wagon-wheel-sized pumpkin pies available from your neighborhood Costco.

At six bucks these things are priced a tad higher than last year's model, but they’re still a fraction of the cost of getting a pie at someplace like Baker’s Square, especially when you consider that the Costco pie is nearly double the size.

As you can see from the photo below, I’ve already purchased my first pie of the season and am well on the way to my second.



-Quoth the Raven

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Halloween is a confluence of many different elements. Food, fashion, cinema and song are all part of the celebration. Rather than go over the standard list of pumpkin recipes and upcoming horror films, I thought I’d try something a little different this year.

The following is a list of totally non-essential, and in some cases disturbing, Halloween accouterments.

For recipes that resemble parts of the human anatomy look no further than this site and while we're on the subject of food why not give a gander at some classic candy admired more for its fond memories than tantalizing taste. But perhaps this focus on sweets isn't necessarily a good thing. After all it could have unexpected results.

And what Halloween list would be complete without a visit from that undead fiend, the vampire. Only the recent rise of the zombie can match our fanged friends in terms of prevalence, and over the years the vamp's popularity has led to some interesting items being produced.

But lest you think my lycanthrope love is making me harsh on old Dracula, here are some songs that even The Count could get down to.

Over the last several years Torture Porn has dominated the horror genre much to my dismay. Fortunately some new blood is starting to change all that, but in the meantime you can journey back to horror's golden age of the slasher.

I'll end things with some spooky travel destinations for those planning a little haunted jaunt this holiday season.

Hopefully these suggestions add some lovely supplemental material to your festivities, or at the very least provide you with a few cheap laughs.

More Halloween-themed goodness to come; so stay tuned boys and ghouls.

-Quoth the Raven

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Our second gastronomic journey comes courtesy of one of my frequent excursions with a group of like-minded souls that congregate at the website Roadfood.

The site has members from all over the country, but our particular contingent of foodies live in Chicagoland and various areas of Wisconsin. We take "tours" that center on different geographic areas, neighborhoods and foods in search of the best in edible delights. That is our mission, our quest, the reason we venture out into parts unknown looking for the good stuff.

Yesterday's sojourn had us exploring Milwaukee and its wealth of ethnic grocery stores and eateries. Our first stop took us to a Greek grocery called "Parthenon Foods" where we snacked on sesame bread, feta cheese, a wonderful roasted red pepper dip and Kajmak, a traditional Mediterranean spread that tastes like a combination of soft butter and cream cheese.



The brownie in the background was a homemade treat brought by one of our members.

Our next stop was to "Mekato's Columbian Bakery & Restaurant" where we sampled a plethora of traditional South American faire.




Beef and Chicken Empanadas on the sides and in the middle Cassava.


Inside of the Empanadas and Cassava.


Pork sausage and a piece of fried bread.


A sweet corn Arepa with melted cheese.


Columbian Bread Pudding.


Columbian tamale wrapped and steamed in a banana leaf.


Inside the tamale.

To drink I had a Milo, a chocolate and malt concoction that tastes a bit like Ovaltine. I also had a Malta, which is a malt-flavored soft drink. Raven likes his malted beverages.



Our third stop was to the "El Rey" grocery story, which had a wide array of baked goods as well as some lovely homemade specialties.

Cookies, cakes and buns, oh my!




Onto the savory side of the shop.


Mmmm Chicharrón


This chicken looked quite tasty....


But I took a pass on the feet.

In the end we decided on a couple of small items to split.


Creamy Elote.


Delicious Carnitas.

Our final stop was to the "Milwaukee Public Market", a massive indoor bazaar with a myriad of things to eat.



While others looked at the various unique items scattered around, I made a beeline for the sweets section.


Chocolate.


More chocolate.


Still more chocolate.


Did I mention I love chocolate?

I also love cake, pie and other baked goods.


Red Velvet cake.


Pumpkin torte.


Giant Snickerdoodle.

There were also a few humorous items.

Like this jolly cherry pit remover.


Some film-inspired food.


And my favorite....

The Vampiric Sushi Roll. (note the first ingredient)


By this point I was full just looking at things, so I ended the trip with a simple beverage



While my chums got their seafood on.


All-in-all it was a great and delicious day and I look forward to our next trip into foodie land.

-Quoth the Raven

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My inability to compose within the 140-character Twitter limit has caused some more of my poems to seek sanctuary here.

So please welcome our two new arrivals "Steady Gig" and "If At First You Don't Succeed".  The first is based on a television show I saw about "animal bars" in Japan and the second came to me after listening to this little tune.

Enjoy.

-Quoth the Raven

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Werewolves have never been the monster darlings of the media.

Unlike the scads of Vampire and Zombie movies that get made every year, you'd be lucky to find one werewolf flick every few years and when these films do get made the results are often lackluster at best.

But take heart my fur-loving friends. For there is a place where werewolves are starting to take center stage. That being the wonderful world of comic books.

In the last couple years we've had big names enter the illustrated lupine game. In 2007 Robert Kirkman debuted his new title The Astounding Wolf-Man, which centers on a man who is bitten by a werewolf and decides to use his curse for the betterment of mankind by becoming a super hero. Tutored by a Vampire mentor and equipped with the latest in high-tech gadgets, Gary Hampton patrols the night looking for crime to stop, like Batman only with a lot more body hair.

February of this year gave us another comic icon trying his hand at lycanthropy. Joe Kelly has released the first four issues of his hot new book Bad Dog. In it we follow the adventures of two bounty hunters, Wendell and Lou. The first is a crazy, shirtless, wild-man who howls at the moon and the second is a werewolf. Lou really is the voice of reason, he just happens to be a werewolf. In fact Lou is so content with his condition that he sees no need to ever change back into human form. This is a mature book full of dirty jokes and dark humor as we follow our two intrepid protagonists into a bizarre world of bounty hunting and bad behavior.

In more recent news, two new independent comics set in the Wild West are starting to generate a lot of buzz. The first comes from writer Matthew Maxwell and Illustrator Luis Guaragña and is called Strangeways: Murder Moon. The first book in a planned series, Murder Moon centers on an ex Civil War officer who tries to leave the horrors of war behind him only to be attacked by a creature that turns him into something more horrible than he ever imagined. I first heard of Maxwell during an interview he gave for a podcast and was immediately taken with his passion for his craft and his love of the subject matter. This guy is definitely one to watch.

Our last new comic comes from fledging online publisher Zuda. Created by David Gallaher, Steve Ellis and Scott O Brown, High Moon is another period comic set in the 1800's and it uses this backdrop to tell of the hardships and horrors of frontier life. This up and comer just won the prestigious Harvey Award for "Best Online Comics Work". I'd summarize this one in more detail like I did the others, but there's really no need when you can view the whole first volume yourself for free online.

I strongly recommend checking all these titles out if you're a werewolf fan or just a fan of good comics.

We werewolf lovers may not ever get the kind of attention that vamps and zombies receive on the silver screen, but the world of comic books belongs to the wolves.

And besides that silver screen thing sounds kinda dangerous.

Arrrrooooooooo...er, I mean....

-Quoth the Raven

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It’s that time of year again boys and ghouls. October that most blessed of months is upon us once more and with it comes a host of televisual delights.

Normally my habit is to link to the places that provide the most bang for your Halloween buck, but alas, this year my trusty channel aggregators decided not to participate in the festivities.

I went around to the official web sites of the individual stations, but found their clunky, Flash-ridden interfaces difficult and bothersome. It also occurred to me that having all the information for these channels in one place would make things a great deal easier.

This left me with but one viable option.

So dear friends, I have purged any non-horror related broadcasting and offered it up for sacrifice. What remains are the meaty bits of this month's TV season.

This creature that I bestow upon you is nothing less than the monster of all monster-lists.

Behold! The Monster October Television Guide for 2009!

Turner Classic Movies

Oct 30th:
6:00 AM - Behind the Mask (1932)
7:15 AM - The Mask Of Fu Manchu (1932)
8:30 AM - The Ghoul(1933)
10:00 AM - The Black Room(1935)
11:15 AM - The Walking Dead(1936)
12:30 PM - The Man They Could Not Hang(1939)
1:45 PM - The Man With Nine Lives (1940)
3:00 PM - Before I Hang (1940)
4:15 PM - The Ape (1940)
5:30 PM - The Devil Commands (1941)
6:45 PM - Isle Of The Dead (1945)
8:00 PM - Gaslight (1944)
10:00 PM - Night Must Fall (1937)
12:00 AM - Psycho (1960)
2:00 AM - Zaat (1972)
3:45 AM - Swamp Thing (1982)

Oct 31st:
6:00 AM - The Woman In White (1948)
8:00 AM - Dead of Night (1945)
10:00 AM - The Haunting (1963)
12:00 PM - The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
1:45 PM - Diary of a Madman (1963)
3:30 PM - Val Lewton: The Man In The Shadows (2007)
5:00 PM - Cat People (1942)
6:30 PM - The Curse of the Cat People (1944)
8:00 PM - Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde (1941)
10:00 PM - Murders in the Zoo (1933)
11:15 PM - The Body Snatcher (1945)
12:45 AM - Circus of Horrors (1960)
2:00 AM - Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde (1932)
3:45 AM - The Son of Dr. Jekyll (1951)
 

ABC Family 13 Nights of Halloween
 
Oct 20th:
7:30 PM - The Goonies 
 
Oct 21st:
8:00 PM - Beetlejuice
 
Oct 22nd:
8:00 PM - The Addams Family
 
Oct 23rd:
8:00 PM - The Addams Family Values
 
Oct 24th:
6:00 PM - Hocus Pocus
 
Oct 25th:
5:30 PM - The Corpse Bride
7:30 PM - Edward Scissorhands
 
(the rest of the schedule is comprised entirely, and inexplicably, of Batman and Scooby Doo flicks; so I axed it)


AMC Fear Fest
 
Oct 23rd:
8:00 PM - Alien (1979)
10:30 PM - Aliens (1986)
 
Oct 24th:
1:30 AM - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
4:30 AM - Jack the Ripper (1959)
6:15 AM - The Brain Eaters (1958)
7:30 AM - The Fly (1958)
9:30 AM - Dracula (1979)
12:00 PM - Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
2:30 PM - Alien (1979)
5:00 PM - Aliens (1986)
8:00 PM - Alien 3 (1992)
10:30 PM - Alien: Resurrection (1997)
 
Oct 25th:
1:00 AM - Wolf (1994)
4:00 AM - The Beast Must Die (1974)
6:00 AM - The Frighteners (1996)
8:30 AM - Raising Cain (1992)
10:30 AM - Wolf (1994)
1:30 PM - Alien 3 (1992)
4:00 PM - Alien: Resurrection (1997)
6:30 PM - The Shining (1980)
 
Oct 26th:
2:00 AM - Psycho (1998)
4:30 AM - The Innocents (1961)
7:15 AM - The Fly (1958)
9:15 AM - The Fly II (1989)
11:30 AM - Psycho (1998)
2:00 PM - The Shining (1980)
5:30 PM - Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
8:00 PM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
10:00 PM - Halloween (1978)
 
Oct 27th:
12:00 AM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
2:00 AM - Raising Cain (1992)
4:00 AM - The Fly II (1989)
6:15 AM - Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965)
8:00 AM - King Kong (1976)
11:00 AM - Wolf (1994)
2:00 PM - Raising Cain (1992)
4:00 PM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
6:00 PM - Halloween (1978)
8:00 PM - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
10:00 PM - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
 
Oct 28th:
12:00 AM - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
2:00 AM - The Frighteners (1996)
4:30 AM - And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973)
7:30 AM - Puppetmaster (1989)
9:30 AM - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
11:30 AM - The Frighteners (1996)
2:00 PM - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
4:00 PM - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
6:00 PM - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
8:00 PM - House on Haunted Hill (1999)
10:00 PM - Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)
11:45 PM - Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
 
Oct 29th:
2:15 AM - Bride of Chucky (1998)
4:15 AM - Piñata: Survival Island (2002)
6:00 AM - Earth Vs. The Spider (1958)
7:45 AM - Blood of Dracula (1957)
9:15 AM - Dracula (1979)
11:45 AM - Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
2:15 PM - Bride of Chucky (1998)
4:15 PM - House on Haunted Hill (1999)
6:15 PM - Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)
8:00 PM - End of Days (1999)
10:45 PM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
 
Oct 30th:
12:45 AM - House on Haunted Hill (1999)
2:45 AM - Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)
4:30 AM - Blood of Dracula (1957)
6:00 AM - The She-Creature (1956)
7:45 AM - Sabretooth (2002)
9:45 AM - Piñata: Survival Island (2002)
11:30 AM - House on Haunted Hill (1999)
1:30 PM - Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)
3:15 PM - End of Days (1999)
6:00 PM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
8:00 PM - Young Frankenstein (1974)
10:30 PM - The Amityville Horror (1979)
 
Oct 31st:
1:00 AM - Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
3:00 AM - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
5:00 AM - Blood of the Vampire (1958)
7:30 AM - Young Frankenstein (1974)
10:00 AM - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
12:00 PM - Halloween (1978)
2:00 PM - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
4:00 PM - Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Meyers (1989)
6:00 PM - Night of the Living Dead (1968)
8:15 PM - Night of the Living Dead (1968)
10:30 PM - Night of the Living Dead (1968)
 
 
SyFy Channel’s 31 Days of Halloween
 
Oct 8th:
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FREDDY VS. JASON
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE POSSESSED
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE GRAVE
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - THE LIST
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MULBERRY STREET
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - RED LEADER
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - MY GHOSTWRITER: THE VAMPIRE
 
Oct 9th:
08:00 AM - SANCTUARY - FATA MORGANA
09:00 AM - SANCTUARY - FOLDING MAN
10:00 AM - SANCTUARY - KUSH
11:00 AM - SANCTUARY - NUBBINS
12:00 PM - SANCTUARY - THE FIVE
01:00 PM - SANCTUARY - EDWARD
02:00 PM- SANCTUARY - REQUIEM
03:00 PM - SANCTUARY - WARRIORS
04:00 PM - SANCTUARY - INSTINCT
05:00 PM - SANCTUARY - REVELATIONS - PART 1
06:00 PM - SANCTUARY - REVELATIONS - PART 2
10:00 PM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART I
12:00 AM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART I
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - VIRUS
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE APPRENTICE
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - DO NOT OPEN THIS BOX
 
Oct 10th:
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE – MAGMA: VOLCANIC DISASTER
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - METEOR
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - ATOMIC TWISTER
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE – TORNADO: NATURE UNLEASHED
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - DISASTER ZONE: VOLCANO IN NEW YORK
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - NYC: TORNADO TERROR
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MEGAFAULT
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - EARTHSTORM
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MEGAFAULT
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SOLAR ATTACK
05:00 AM - TWILIGHT ZONE - THE LITTLE GIRL LOST
05:30 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - THE LITTLE PEOPLE

Oct 11th:
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BLOODRAYNE
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BLOODRAYNE DELIVERANCE
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - RISE: BLOOD HUNTER
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE DARK
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE DESCENT
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BUTTERFLY EFFECT 3: REVELATIONS
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - IDENTITY
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BOOGEYMAN 2
02:00 AM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART I
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SLAYER
05:00 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - THE DUMMY

Oct 12th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - ISLAND OF NO RETURN – PT 1
09:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - ISLAND OF NO RETURN – PT 2
10:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - DRACULA'S CASTLE - PART O
11:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - DRACULA'S CASTLE - PART T
12:00 PM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - RETURN TO CHILLINGHAM – PT 1
01:00 PM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - RETURN TO CHILLINGHAM – PT II
02:00 PM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - SATAN'S DORMITORY
04:00 PM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART I
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - DEAD LIKE ME
07:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - FREE FALL - PART 1
08:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - THE ONE - PART 2
09:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - LOVE NEVER DIES
10:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - LOVE STILL WON'T DIE
11:00 PM - MONSTER - HERR DR. TENMA
11:30 PM - MONSTER - DOWNFALL
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - 2SHY
03:00 AM - THE OUTER LIMITS - WHITE LIGHT FEVER

Oct 13th:
08:00 AM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - THE GREAT MONTARRO
09:00 AM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - SHADOW BOXER
10:00 AM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - HELLOWE'EN
11:00 AM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - ROOT OF ALL EVIL
12:00 PM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - TALES OF THE UNDEAD
01:00 PM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - SCARECROW
02:00 PM- FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - FAITH HEALER
03:00 PM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - BEDAZZLED
04:00 PM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - THE BARON'S BRIDE
05:00 PM - FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - VANITY'S MIRROR
06:00 PM- FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE SERIES - TATTOO
07:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - THE SCREAMING ROOM
07:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - ATTACK OF THE RAT MONSTER
08:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - BASKET CASE
08:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - REVENGE OF THE SWITCHHIKER
09:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - GHOUL BUS
09:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - BOY IN A BUBBLE
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE CROW
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - THE WALK
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - JOLLY ROGER

Oct 14th:
08:00 AM - HAUNTED - PILOT
09:00 AM - HAUNTED - GRIEVOUS ANGELS
10:00 AM - HAUNTED - FIDELITY
11:00 AM - HAUNTED - ABBY
12:00 PM - HAUNTED - BLIND WITNESS
01:00 PM - HAUNTED - NOCTURNE
02:00 PM - HAUNTED - A THREE HOUR TOUR
03:00 PM - HAUNTED - NEXUS
04:00 PM - HAUNTED - SIMON REDUX
05:00 PM - HAUNTED - LAST CALL
06:00 PM - HAUNTED - SEEKING ASYLUM
07:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - GHOSTLY CHILD
08:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - O.K. CORRAL
09:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - FORT HENRY
10:00 PM - DESTINATION TRUTH - CHULLACHAQUI/BERMUDA TRIANGLE
11:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - FORT HENRY
12:00 AM - DESTINATION TRUTH - CHULLACHAQUI/BERMUDA TRIANGLE
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - OUBLIETTE
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - DEATH VALLEY
 
Oct 15th:
08:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - BIGALOW'S LAST SMOKE
08:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE LAST CAR
09:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE IMPRESSIONIST
09:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - DREAM GIRL
10:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE SATANIC POND
10:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE UNHAPPY MEDIUM
11:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - A CHOICE OF DREAMS
11:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - RING AROUND THE REDHEAD
12:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - EVERYBODY NEEDS SOME LOVE
12:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - FEAR AND FLOATING
01:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - STRANGE LOVE
01:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - COMET WATCH
02:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - MISS MAY DUSA
02:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - FLORENCE BRAVO
03:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - DELIVERS US FROM GOODNESS
03:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE CUTTY BLACK SOW
04:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - PAYMENT OVERDUE
04:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - BLACK WIDOWS
05:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE
05:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - HALLOWEEN CANDY
06:00 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE OLD SOFT SHOE
06:30 PM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - DISTANT SIGNALS
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
10:00 PM - MASTERS OF HORROR - INCIDENT ON & OFF A MOUNTAIN RD
11:00 PM - MASTERS OF HORROR - THE V WORD
12:00 AM - MASTERS OF HORROR - DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - REVELATIONS
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - HARPIES
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE SPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHER
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE – BARTER

Oct 16th:
08:00 AM - MOONLIGHT - FLEUR DE LIS
09:00 AM - MOONLIGHT - SLEEPING BEAUTY
10:00 AM - MOONLIGHT - LOVE LASTS FOREVER
11:00 AM - MOONLIGHT - THE MORTAL CURE
12:00 PM - MOONLIGHT - FATED TO PRETEND
01:00 PM - MOONLIGHT - CLICK
02:00 PM - MOONLIGHT - WHAT'S LEFT BEHIND
03:00 PM - MOONLIGHT - SONATA
04:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK
07:00 PM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART I
10:00 PM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART II
12:00 AM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART II
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - HALLOWED GROUND
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - SORRY, RIGHT NUMBER
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - BEETLES
 
Oct 17th:
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MIMIC 3: SENTINEL
10:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SHALLOW GROUND
12:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CROW 3: SALVATION
02:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE CROW
04:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW II
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW III
11:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - JOYRIDE 2: DEAD AHEAD
01:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BENEATH STILL WATERS
03:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FURNACE
05:30 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - NIGHTMARE AT 20,000 FEET

Oct 18th:
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - DOG SOLDIERS
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE CORN IV
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE CORN V
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE CORN 666
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE CORN VII
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE DUNWICH HORROR
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN: WOLVESBAYNE
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS
01:00 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - IN PRAISE OF PIP
01:30 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - A KIND OF STOPWATCH
02:00 AM - THE OUTER LIMITS - THE CHOICE
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SHE CREATURE
05:00 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - LIVING DOLL

Oct 19th:
08:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PREMONITION
10:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE DARK
12:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SOMETHING BENEATH
02:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS
04:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE – CARRIE (mini-series)
07:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - DROWNED LIVES
08:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - THE GHOST WITHIN
09:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - A GRAVE MATTER
10:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS
11:00 PM - MONSTER - A MURDER
11:30 PM - MONSTER - NIGHT OF THE EXECUTION
01:00 AM - THE X-FILES - DARKNESS FALLS
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - NISEI - PART 1
03:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - RETURN TO ROMANIA
 
Oct 20th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - GOLDFIELD GHOST
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CERBERUS
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - HYBRID
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SNAKE KING
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SNAKEHEAD TERROR
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - UNEARTHED
07:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - FRANKENSTEIN'S BASEMENT OF TERROR
07:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - UFO ABDUCTION
08:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - GHOUL BUS
08:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - BOY IN A BUBBLE
09:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - CHANNELING THE DEAD
09:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - SHAVE AND A HEADCUT
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - WRONG TURN 2
01:00 AM - THE X-FILES - TOOMS
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - 731 - PART 2
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - WRAITHS OF ROANOKE
 
Oct 21st:
08:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE ODDS
08:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE INSATIABLE
10:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PERFECT CREATURE
12:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - WAY OF THE VAMPIRE
02:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BLOODSUCKERS
04:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - INTERVIEW W/ THE VAMPIRE
07:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - SHADOWY FIGURE
08:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - ATTACK OF THE IRISH ELEMENTAL
09:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - CONGRESS THEATER
10:00 PM - DESTINATION TRUTH - HAUNTED LOST CITY/THUNDERBIRD
11:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - CONGRESS THEATER
12:00 AM - DESTINATION TRUTH - HAUNTED LOST CITY/THUNDERBIRD
01:00 AM - THE X-FILES - HOME
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - WAR OF THE COPROPHAGES
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - HAUNTED PRISON
 
Oct 22nd:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - RETURN TO MAGNOLIA LANE
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MAN-THING
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MANTICORE
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MINOTAUR
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - VENOM
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - TIMBER FALLS
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW II
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW III
11:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SAW
02:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MINOTAUR
04:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PUPPET MASTER VS DEMONIC TOYS

Oct 23rd:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - WAVERLY HILLS
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LOCUSTS: THE 8TH PLAGUE
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LOCUSTS
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BATS: HUMAN HARVEST
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PTERODACTYL
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - MONSTER ARK
07:00 PM - SANCTUARY - END OF NIGHTS - PART II
10:00 PM - SANCTUARY - EULOGY
12:00 AM - SANCTUARY - EULOGY
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SHALLOW GROUND
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE YATTERING AND JACK
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - GOING NATIVE
 
Oct 24th:
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE SHAFT
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GHOST VOYAGE
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LAKE DEAD
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - TIMBER FALLS
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FLU BIRD HORROR
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SPLINTER
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GHOST TOWN
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PHANTOM RACER
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GHOST TOWN
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THEY WAIT
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - BASHER MALONE
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - I'LL GIVE YOU A MILLION
 
Oct 25th:
09:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - TRICK OR TREAT
09:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - A CASE OF THE STUBBORNS
10:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - KAW
12:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
02:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - STEPHEN KING'S ROSE RED PT 1
04:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEENMOVIE - STEPHEN KING'S ROSE RED PT 2
06:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - STEPHEN KING'S ROSE RED PT 3
08:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - DESPERATION
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK AGAIN
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SOMETIMES THEY COME BACK FOR MORE
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - RIDING THE BULLET
05:00 AM - THE TWILIGHT ZONE - PROBE 7 OVER AND OUT

Oct 26th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - SECRET MUMMYS
09:00 AM -31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE -WHEN GOOD GHOULS GO BAD
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GHOULS
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - ODYSSEUS: UNDERWORLD
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE RAPTURE
07:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - A VICIOUS CYCLE
08:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - THE NIGHT WE MET
09:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - THE CURSE OF THE NINTH
10:00 PM - GHOST WHISPERER - GIVING UP THE GHOST
11:00 PM - MONSTER - THE GIRL OF HEIDELBERG
11:30 PM - MONSTER - THE MISSING
01:00 AM - THE X-FILES - BAD BLOOD
02:00 AM - THE X-FILES - SYZYGY
03:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - RETURN TO CHARLEVILLE
 
Oct 27th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - POLTERGEIST HOUSE
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - I AM OMEGA
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: NECROPOLIS
03:00 PM -31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: RAVE THE GRAVE
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2
07:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - TAXI CAB CARNAGE
07:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - BIGFOOT ATTACKS
08:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - CHANNELING THE DEAD
08:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - SHAVE AND A HEADCUT
09:00 PM - SCARE TACTICS - 28 MINUTES LATER
09:30 PM - SCARE TACTICS - ALIEN CONTACT
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - JOYRIDE 2: DEAD AHEAD
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE DEATHS OF IAN STONE
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BORDERLAND

Oct 28th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - CEMETERY OF THE UNDEAD
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN - CHUPACABRA: DARK SEAS
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - ABOMINABLE
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SASQUATCH MOUNTAIN
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - NEVER CRY WEREWOLF
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - OGRE
07:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - OLD JAIL
08:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - HELLFIRE CAVES
09:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - ROCKY MOUNTAIN HAUNTINGS
10:00 PM - DESTINATION TRUTH - WEREWOLF/ARICA MONSTER
11:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS - ROCKY MOUNTAIN HAUNTINGS
12:00 AM - DESTINATION TRUTH - WEREWOLF/ARICA MONSTER
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LEGION OF THE DEAD
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN - PHANTOM FORCE

Oct 29th:
08:00 AM - SCARIEST PLACES ON EARTH - WOODCHESTER MANSION
09:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FRANKENSTEIN REBORN
11:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - SKELETON MAN
01:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE BEAST OF BRAY ROAD
03:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - REIGN OF THE GARGOYLES
05:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - BONE EATER
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - THE SKELETON KEY
09:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FINAL DESTINATION 2
11:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CURSED
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LEPRECHAUN
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - LEPRECHAUN 2
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - MONSTER IN MY ROOM
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - INSIDE THE CLOSET
 
Oct 30th:
08:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - THE MADNESS ROOM
08:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PUMPKINHEAD: BLOOD FEUD
10:30 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PUMPKINHEAD: ASHES TO ASHES
12:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GINGER SNAPS BACK
02:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - GINGER SNAPS UNLEASHED
04:30 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - INTERVIEW W/ THE VAMPIRE
07:00 PM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - FINAL DESTINATION 2
10:00 PM - SANCTUARY - HERO
12:00 AM - SANCTUARY - HERO
01:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PUMPKINHEAD: ASHES TO ASHES
03:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - PUMPKINHEAD: BLOOD FEUD
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - MOOKIE AND POOKIE
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - SLIPPAGE

Oct 31st:
\09:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
10:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
11:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
12:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
01:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
02:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
03:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
04:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
05:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
06:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
07:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
08:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
09:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
10:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
11:00 PM - GHOST HUNTERS
12:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
01:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
02:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
03:00 AM - GHOST HUNTERS
04:00 AM - 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN MOVIE - CHILDREN OF THE GRAVE
05:00 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - ALL A CLONE BY THE TELEPHONE
05:30 AM - TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - IN THE CARDS

Alright, I think that's all of it. Whew!

That is offically the longest post on this site and I think it's gonna hold the top spot for quite some time (unless I go on a drunken rant after watching the new Nightmare film).

Happy October vewing everyone!

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

A new indie horror film is making the rounds and is being heralded by many as the heir apparent to the Blair Witch Project.

Paranormal Activity is being compared to Blair for a couple reasons. The first is the film's miniscule budget of 15,000 dollars, a figure that makes Blair's 500,000 dollar cost seem gargantuan by comparison. The second and more significant similarity between the two films is the way that Paranormal is being marketed. The advertisement hasn't gone quite as far as Blair in trying to pretend that the events depicted in the film are real, but the movie is presented as a series of home-video footage so the effect ends up the same.

The real focus of the advertising thus far has been on audience reaction. They actually use test screenings in the marketing materials, and the general tone of the viewing participants could be summed up as "scared shitless", at least from what we've seen in the commercials.

As to whether it's actually frightening, you can judge for yourself:



Personally, I'm not quite sure what to make of the film. I've never been that big a fan of supernatural investigation shows. For whatever reason they just don't grab my attention. That said, I find the attempt at verisimilitude in this film and others like it intriguing.

There's currently a contest going on to vote to get the film released in your city. The nature of the budget means they can't screen it everywhere, so
those interested should definitely cast a ballot for their neck of the woods.

I'm fairly confidant it will come to Chicago and if it does I definitely intend on trying to see it. If I do I will of course report back here with a full review. Until then I'll continue to keep tabs on this one and see what transpires.

This fall is looking like a pretty good season for fright films.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

The maestro of nightmares is creeping ever closer to his reemergence in April of 2010, which has continued to leave yours truly in a state of unbearable confusion.

I sometimes wonder if this whole thing isn't a deliberate move by Mr. Bay to torment me. I mean the guy took the seminal horror movie from my childhood, put one of my favorite actors in the lead role and then filmed the thing in my hometown. He’s either trying to disprove my theory about him by making the new Elm Street remake really good or he’s trying really hard to make it appear good in order to lull me into a false sense of security at which point he will crush my dreams in his usual accustomed manner.

Adding to my bewilderment is the following teaser trailer:



What’s most interesting about the video above is the presence of several shots taken directly from the original Elm Street. It seems pretty clear that the movie is in fact going to be a remake and not a re-imagining. That’s not to say that there aren’t going to be some new elements. The first and most obvious is Freddy’s claim of innocence at the beginning of the trailer.

The new movie also looks like it may be going for a darker tone than its predecessor, which is saying something considering how dark the first film was; Freddy hadn’t developed his trademark gallows humor in the initial outing and was mostly content to simply scare the shit out of you. Stylistically the new flick also looks pretty interesting and Haley certainly comes across as menacing, especially at the end.

At this point I guess I’d classify my outlook for the film as cautiously optimistic. That said, I’m going into this situation with my eyes wide open and I’m still convinced that Bay may find a way to foul things up.

I’m curious what you all think. Does this trailer make you want to see the film?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Added: Check out this concept trailer done by an independent group of filmmaker fans. It's pretty damn impressive and a totally different idea. Not sure which I like better.



-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

When I changed the focus of this blog to include talking about my life instead of just my artistic pursuits, I did so in order to open up this space to a broader range of topics.

Since that time I’ve widened the scope of the kinds of news items I’ve written about, but I still haven’t really touched on anything personal. Part of my reluctance to do so is based on the fact that I’m not sure the events in my day-to-day life are worth discussing, but I’ve decided to give it a try and open myself up a bit to see what people think of the idea.

I wanted to begin with something that everyone could relate to and I can’t think of many things more universal than food.

Thus I have decided to dip my toe timorously into personal territory by starting off with the first in what will hopefully be an ongoing series of “Food Excursions”. This certainly isn’t intended to be a journal of everything I eat, but rather an intermittent series of notable stops where some exceptional edible was consumed.

What qualifies as exceptional, you ask?

Well for starters, how about something that motivated me to drive this very night for an hour and a half into Milwaukee just to sample it.

The creation of which I speak comes from Kopp’s, a Wisconsin wonderland of burgers and desserts.






On tonight’s excursion I sought out their fabled “Pancake & Maple Syrup” frozen custard that appears but once a year.



The taste of the delicious bowl pictured above was like having breakfast alamode. It had that lovely texture combination you get from eating birthday cake and ice cream together and the maple flavor went exceptionally well with the vanilla custard.

But I couldn’t stop there, oh no.

Building on the breakfast theme I decided to take things up a notch by ordering a side of bacon.



Which I then crumbled up and added to the custard.



The result of this Frankenstein creation was nothing short of spectacular. It combined salty, savory, creamy, smoky and sweet in a single wonderful mouthful.

Do not fear this concoction my friends, embrace it.

Jim Gaffigan was right. Everything tastes better with bacon!



-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

As reported yesterday, I sat down last night to watch the TV remake of the Stephen King classic Children of the Corn.

I came in with an open mind hoping to see an interesting reinterpretation of the 1984 adaptation or at the very least a competent retelling of the story.

Regrettably I received neither of these things.

Honestly when I found out that it was a “SyFy Original” I should have run for the hills. I mean this is the same stellar production house that gave us Frankenfish and Mansquito.

Instead I persevered in the name of science and these were my findings.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

The movie opens with the same protagonists, Burt and Vicky, traveling through the bible-belt on their way to a more metropolitan destination. This time around however our lovely couple is on the verge of splitting up, so the playful bickering and minor arguments that slowly escalate things in the original film are replaced in the new rendition by shouting matches and insult hurling that begin in the first frame and don't stop till halfway through the movie.

We're told that the road trip is an attempt by Burt and Vicky to save their marriage, but from the way they fight it's difficult to derive what about it is worth saving. The two seem to revel in hating each other with only occasional, and seemingly accidental, lapses into kindness and warmth.

The character assassination continues until Burt, who is driving, becomes so distracted by the fight that he plows into a little boy who wanders out of the cornfields and into the road. The reaction that follows exemplifies the couple's relationship.

Our two leads spend a few moments in shock and horror and then go right back to attacking each other. Vicky literally goes through a litany of Burt’s past deeds and enumerates why they have led him to kill this boy. The biggest of these is his time spent in the war in Vietnam. Meanwhile Burt goes into full CSI mode and determines that he couldn’t have killed the boy and insists that Vicky examine a gory neck wound to prove his point despite the fact that she’d have no real way to determine whether he was telling the truth.

The rest of the first half of the film is spent watching Burt and Vicky snipe at each other while trying to find some local authorities to report the boy’s death and in the process try to convince whoever they find that it wasn’t Burt who ultimately killed him.

I will say that the staging during this half of the film is done quite well. The roads and surrounding farmland loom menacingly and the deserted town feels appreciably creepy and desolate and they did a nice job integrating the corn-related religious iconography into the various abandoned buildings.

Which brings us to the kiddies.

While our two adults are playing the who-can-hate-on-the-other-the-most game, the children are busy listening to scripture from prophet Issac, tending to the crops and generally trying to act creepy. One difference between this one and the ’84 movie is that the inner-workings of the childrens' society is more closely shown. You actually see them harvesting, preparing dinner, and in a disturbing scene towards the end, having sex.

Another major difference between the two films is in the quality of the casting. John Franklin, who played Issac in the 84’ film, felt genuinely disturbing. A lot of this came from his demeanor and from the things he didn’t say, often preferring to let his mere presence unnerve the audience. In contrast the new Issac, Preston Bailey, is a little motor mouth who pretty much doesn’t stop preaching throughout the whole movie.

Consequently Bailey ends up coming off as a little kid trying to act like an adult. This would actually be fine were it any of the other cast members because they are kids attempting to take on the roles of adults. The problem in Issac’s case is that he’s supposed to be a prophet, which is why the others follow him. Whether he really talks to their God is meant to be ambiguous in both films, but in the '84 flick Franklin makes Issac self aware enough to choose his words carefully and let the perception of him by his flock do most of the work. This perception is even more important for the audience.

Similarly the actor who plays Malachai in the remake, Daniel Newman, doesn’t come off as threatening as Courtney Gains did the original film, but he gives a good effort. The real problem with the new Malachai is that he never questions Issac. I was waiting the whole film for it to happen and at points they even seemed to be building up to it, but nothing ever transpires. This to me was the central tenet of the Malachai character, aside from being the group enforcer. It was supposed to show that an older, bigger kid would eventually make a power play due to the nature of such relationships among children. Even Issac’s mass hypnosis of the group wasn’t enough to stop it forever.

Eventually the adults and kids come together and that’s when things go totally off the rails.

Burt wants to check out every abandoned structure in the town one-by-one, while Vicky, understandably, just wants to get the hell out of there. After coming up short at the other buildings, Burt finally hits pay dirt at the church. He proceeds to go over the place with a fine-tooth comb while Vicky waits in the car where she is becoming increasingly uneasy.

As it turns out Vicky’s quite right to be nervous seeing as how all the children suddenly surround her car and then go to town on it using rakes, pitchforks, shovels and other implements of farming destruction. Meanwhile Burt, whose only fifty feet away in the church, hears none of this. There’s metal being beaten and battered, glass being shattered and Burt is oblivious. It takes Vicky firing off a shotgun to finally get his attention at which point it’s already too late and Burt runs out just in time to see Malachai torch Vicky alive.

Cut to Burt giving a ridiculous Rambo-esque monologue at the children.

No seriously, he gives a speech about how his time in Vietnam has trained him to kick the kids’ collective assess.

‘Gee Burt, I’d think that you being three times their size and four times their age would have been enough, but thank God you’ve got that military training too.’

I'd love to keep through the scenes play-by-play, but this review is already overly long. Instead I've condensed the second hour of the film into a nice, tidy paragraph that reads thusly:

Burt fights two of the bigger kids and kills them, Issac throws knife into Burt's shoulder from rooftop, Burt runs away into Corn, kids give chase but get freaked out by corn and wait for Issac/Malachai, they show up and kids all enter corn, chase, chase, chase, chase, chase, Burt takes out a couple more kids including tiny wannabe profit that might’ve replaced Issac, kids all get called home for supper, Burt gets bored waiting around for kids in corn field and has Vietnam flashback to pass the time, Issac and Malachai have heart-to-heart about their faith, Malachai’s pregnant girl is sad after Issac drops the age of self-sacrifice from 19 to 18, kids all go to church after dinner to watch two of their members have sex while the others look on excitedly, Burt continues having flashbacks and stumbles onto Vicky’s corn-crucified body, Malachai tells his girl he has to kill himself for the faith, girl gets pouty and has vision of burning the corn, Burt suddenly shows up crucified next to Vicky without any explanation, cut back to Malachai and a bunch of the other eighteen-year-olds who walk off into the corn field presumably to sacrifice themselves, THE END.

Now lets back up a moment here.

First off lets examine the scene in the church with the “fertilization ritual”. Here we have two underage kids doing the nasty and a whole bunch of really underage kids getting off on watching it, all while Issac reads from scripture.

Um, ewwwww…

Second we have the main protagonist Burt just wind up dead. One minute he’s having a mental breakdown/freak out and the next he’s up on a crucifix next to his wife. Rule number one of storytelling, don’t gloss over any important event of your main character especially if that event is their untimely demise. The audience generally likes to see these kinds of things first hand.

Lastly there’s the “this is more faithful to the original text” defense. Stephen King helped write the screenplay for the remake and I have no doubt it hues more closely to his short story. The same exact thing happened with the TV remake of The Shinning and there, as in here, the reboot paled in comparison to the original film adaptation. The key word here is “adaptation”, a change in structure that is almost always necessary when going from one medium to another. Simply Xeroxing the book and making a script out of it never works, -see also the first two Harry Potter films-

All-in-all I give the TV remake of Children of the Corn two out of five feathers.

It tried its best, but its best was pretty forgettable and at times downright awful.

Better luck next time SyFy.

-Quoth the Raven

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Bob Weinstein, head honcho over at Dimension Films, has decided to “…go back to doing what I do best”, which in this case means taking beloved horror classics and creating pointless remakes and sequels.

That’s right kids, there’s going to be a new Scream sequel, a new Hellraiser and a new Scanners. Because clearly the later iterations of those films were vastly superior to the originals and hell they can just get anyone for the Scanners sequel, who needs that Cronenberg guy anyway.

Even better though is the planned remake of An American Werewolf in London. Here’s a hint Bob, they tried reviving this one before and no one went to see it because even the trailer looked terrible.

But clearly that was just a location problem, I mean really, who likes France? Stick that puppy back in England and it’ll be fabulous!

Alright, so maybe I’m jumping the gun with the hate on this one. Maybe, just maybe, Dimension will do right by these films. Even if that ends up being true, it’s still part of a disturbing trend that favors regurgitation over original ideas and I can’t see that as a good thing in any situation.

That said, I’ll give these projects the benefit of the doubt until I actually see them. It’s possible that Weinstien is being sincere and that these new films may add something to the legacy of their predecessors, though I remain highly skeptical.

As a show of good faith I plan on watching the television remake of Children of the Corn that’s airing tonight on the SciFi channel and I’ll report back here with my thoughts on it tomorrow.

Wait, what’s that Bob? You’re doing a Children of the Corn remake too?

Well I’m sure a reboot of a reboot won’t seem tired at all by the time it comes out. I can see that you're clearly concerned with reviving the quality of your franchise films and that this is in no way just an attempt to make a quick buck.

Thanks for obliterating that five seconds of good will you built up.

-Quoth the Raven

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Yesterday’s post about stop-motion got me thinking about my past experiences with the art form.

My first exposure came when I was a kid watching holiday specials with a light bulb-nosed Rudolph, the song and dance stylings of Snow Miser and Heat Miser and some claymation California Raisons who had become bonafide celebrities after paying tribute to Marvin Gaye.

Still, the first moment that really blew my mind and inspired me was seeing a film in a college video-editing class that was created by a pair of identical twins known as The Brothers Quay.

Everything about this piece from its visual style to the mood it evoked filled me with a sense of wonder and really opened my eyes to the possibilities that Art of all forms had to offer. It was a very special moment for me, one that helped me take my own timid first steps into film and animation, and now I’d like to share that moment with you.

So without further ado I give you the Quay Brother’s mini masterpiece:

Street of Crocodiles


(use full screen mode for better viewing)

Feel free to take a few moments to pick up the pieces of your exploded cerebellum.

-Quoth the Raven

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Stop-motion animation has always been esoteric.

During the golden age of hand-drawn animation, stop-motion was seen as crude and clunky compared to the fluid illustrations put out by Disney and Fleischer Studios. Later when computer-animated films began to dominate the landscape, stop-motion was often regarded as antiquated with its painstakingly laborious setups and glacially slow filming technique.

There are only a few contemporary examples of mainstream stop-motion movies. British humorist and claymation guru Nick Park gave us the wonderful, cheese-loving Wallace and Gromit and then of course there's the master of the posable arts, Henry Selick, who directed both The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach.

These movies all came out several years apart from each other and though all three later received cult followings, none of them managed to set the world on fire during their theatrical run.

But that may all be about to change.

Earlier this year literary wunderkind Neil Gaiman had his bestselling children’s book Coraline transformed into stop-motion with the aforementioned Selick at the helm. This is the first time in recent history where a popular piece of contemporary literature was given the stop-motion treatment. Fortunately it isn’t going to be the last.

In November director Wes Anderson, auteur of the movies "Rushmore", "The Royal Tenenbaums" and "The Darjeeling Limited", is trying his hand at the frame-by-frame game by adapting another children’s story, Roald Dahl’s "Fantastic Mr. Fox".



I don’t know if this is merely coincidence or the start of a bonafide trend, but it’s encouraging to see stop-motion in the forefront of film again.

Now all we need is to get Adam Jones to do a crazy horror film. If it’s anything like his music videos we’d be in for some pretty trippy stuff.



-Quoth the Raven

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Some of you may already know about our hosting woes over at Oddlots. For those who don’t, the short version is that our service provider underwent a major overhaul and in the process somehow managed to jumble up our site something fierce.

We have backups of most of the crucial information, but there are certain key things we need from our former host in order to put Oddlots up on another server and that's currently what we're missing.

Magi has tried to contact them on numerous occasions, but they have been unresponsive to his queries thus far. He's still trying to reach them, but in the meantime we didn't want the Oddlots' website address to keep pointing towards a dead page.

So as of now the URL: www.oddlotsirregulars.com will bring you to this site. At this point in time we have no idea how long things will remain this way, but it will likely be for the foreseeable future. 

I have emailed those of you that I have addresses for from back in the ReCAT days. If any of you visiting here are in contact with other Oddlots members who might be wondering what's up, you can tell them that the address now points to a live site.

I know this isn’t the same as Oddlots, but I hope it can still be a place for us to congregate. I intend to ratchet up the news quotient back to my previous posting levels and am happy to open my Forums for the RPG’s and other threads that members have come to know and love.

My perch is your perch. So welcome home my friends, welcome home.

-Quoth the Raven

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A couple years back I wrote an article about novelist Dan Brown and the nature of success. Specifically it focused on the incongruity between the author’s book sales and the apparent quality of his work.

The real heart of that piece was about the constant struggle that artists face when dealing with their own self-doubt and insecurities. How the popular success of a seemingly lackluster talent can shake ones belief in their own abilities or serve to bolster their faith by illustrating that success can be as much a fluke of fate as an indicator of actual talent.

I was using Brown as a jumping off point to explore a larger issue, but I’ll be the first to admit that my motives weren’t entirely pure. I took a considerable amount of glee watching Pullum dismantle Brown’s work with his scathing critique and I’d wager there’s almost no artist out there who doesn’t take some pleasure in exposing the hacks in their particular corner of creation, especially the ones who have amassed great fortunes peddling their schlock to the masses.

It’s in that spirit that I give you this rather thorough and absolutely hilarious overview of the Twilight series. As before, I have not read these books and am simply presenting the above as a catalyst for discussion. I think it’s fairly indisputable that the Twilight books have some pretty troubling misogynist overtones, especially considering the fact that they are primarily targeted at young girls.

Before anyone points it out, yes I know the author of Twilight is female, and no that doesn’t insulate it from being misogynistic. If it was aimed at an adult audience I could almost dismiss the whole thing as a vampiric spin on the classic bodice ripper tales of old, but that is clearly not the case here. The problems also go deeper than the various sexual encounters as is illustrated in the article.

In truth I’m mostly just having a bit of fun taking the piss out of those more commercially successful than myself. It’s cathartic and is the reason why shows like The Real Housewives of [insert city here] are so insanely popular.

That said, there is a point to be made here.

Michael Bay may be a multi-millionaire, but he’s also by and large a completely talentless fuck and no amount of cash can erase that fact.

And you thought I wasn’t going to bring this back to Bay.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

My memory is not what one would call acute.

The amount of events I can recall from my three-plus decades on this earth could easily be condensed into a ninety-minute movie and it would probably play out in broad, mashed-up bits like one of those filmstrips from grade school where they used a single image of a tree frog to represent the entire African rainforest and then moved on to something totally unrelated like road construction.

One of the things that actually does stick out from my adolescence, is watching The Muppet Show with my brother and sister. I can remember all of us hurrying through dinner, the show came on at 6:30, and plunking ourselves down in front of the TV to catch the opening song and see who the special guest was that night.

It was “event television” back before the network suits had a phrase for that kind of phenomenon.

What I loved most is that the show didn’t pander to its audience. For a program that had a bunch of articulated stuffed animals for stars, the material was surprisingly sophisticated and felt decidedly adult. Going back and watching some of it now, I’m amazed at the sheer number of jokes that must’ve gone clear over my head at that age, but even the ones I got felt dangerous and worth repeating to friends on the playground the next day.

It makes me sad to see children’s television and realize that there is nothing like the Muppet Show for today’s kids. If anything the programming has gotten more and more regressive and is often so cravenly politically correct that the thought of a character telling a joke at another’s expense or being in any way sarcastic or caustic, aka funny, is simply unheard of.

In addition to being edgy, the Muppet Show also loved to play around with the bizarre. The program had no set format; guests were allowed and encouraged to improvise and it led to some very interesting moments.

One of my favorite skits not represented in the above list is from 1977 when John Cleese guest starred.



I remember this as my first glimpse into the realities of late-night television and what it must've been like for guests on Carson and Letterman coming to promote their latest album or movie only to find themselves unwillingly roped into some lame sketch by the host.

That the Muppet Show was so fearless in portraying something that wouldn’t be touched on until Conan O'Brien came on the scene decades later is a testament to how far ahead of its time the program was.

I’ve written before about the show’s origins and about its potential future, but it’s these golden years that will always stand out to me. Those five seasons that ran from ’76 to ’81 gave us characters and comedy that is as remarkable now as it was back then.

I can only hope that one day someone will come along to equal Jim Henson’s genius. Until then I can always be reminded of what was, through the magic of DVD.

It's time to start the music; it's time to light the lights....

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

My deep and abiding love of werewolves is a powerful thing, as is my nostalgia for the decade of my adolescence.

These two elements have combined to form a perfect marketing storm, one designed to pull me in despite my better judgment.

I know that the above idea is a terrible one. Teen Wolf was amusing for its time, but not extraordinary in any way and certainly not something one could hang an entire television series on. The American Werewolf In London angle sounds intriguing, but the idea that anyone could fuse these two movies together sounds ridiculous and updating them for a "modern audience" feels like a mistake waiting to happen.

Still, I can't help but be drawn to the potential, however slim it may be. I want so badly for my fuzzy friends to have the renaissance that vampires and zombies have enjoyed that I find myself grasping at whatever meager offerings are presented.

I can only hope that one day my enthusiasm is rewarded, though I have no intention of holding my breath waiting for it to happen.

My optimism may be boundless, but it certainly isn't blind.

-Quoth the Raven

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There’s a movie coming out this November called Fourth Kind that deals with alien abductees. The film centers on a therapist and her group of patients in Nome Alaska, all of whom have similar abduction stories and experiences.

The plot sounds like something straight out of an X-Files episode except for one small difference.

The characters and therapy scenes in the film are taken from actual events that have been documented and are presented side-by-side with their film recreations in the trailer below.



This may just turn out to be another Blair Witch style marketing ploy, but for now I’m pretty damned intrigued.

Not many movie trailers make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who wonders about my opinion of Michael Bay need look no further than my magnum opus of hate.

To put it mildly, I abhor Michael Bay. His original films make me weep for the future of cinema and his remakes of the beloved horror films of my youth make me want to inflict grievous bodily harm on the man.

Even my moments of doubt make me loathe the man and the way he dangles something tantalizing in front of you only to crush it to pieces with his ineptitude.

I’ve taken great joy in despising Bay at every turn for his utter disregard for things like coherent storytelling, cogent dialogue and action sequences that don’t induce bouts of epilepsy.

What I’ve never tried to do is understand him. I don’t honestly believe that Bay sets out to make terrible movies. I think in his mind he has a specific esthetic he’s going for and probably even has something to say with his films, though what that something is completely eludes me.

Fortunately I don’t have to do the heavy lifting on this one.

Zack Handlen over at the venerable AV Club has written an in-depth treatise on the possible machinations and motivations behind the hacktastic thing we call Bay.

After reading it I found that I began to contemplate pitying poor Bay rather than scorning him. Surely such a confused and wretched creature is worthy of some compassion. I simply have to open my heart and let love in.

Alright, here goes nothing....

Wait, wait, I think I’m starting to feel something...yes there’s definitely something happening, I think, maybe, hang on, hang on....aaaaand......

Nope, I still fuckin’ hate the guy.

Hey, I tried

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

In 2010 Benicio Del Toro will take on the mantle of Lon Chaney Jr. in the remake of the 1941 classic The Wolf Man with an updated rendition.

This event has filled me with equal parts hope and dread.

I’ve had an avid interest in werewolves for many years, and in that time I have learned that being a lupine enthusiast is similar to being a Cubs fan, disappointment is inevitable.

Whether it’s books, comics or movies, werewolves tend to get portrayed as either mindless beasts or comic relief. Few people have touched on the psychological horror inherent in being cursed with lycanthropy and the decision of the afflicted to either end their own life or continue on as a monster.

Chaney understood this and in his depiction of the Wolf Man he conveyed the confusion, resentment and despair of what is ultimately a tragic figure. David Naughton gave an equally winning interpretation in An American Werewolf In London where he spends the entire film trapped between his desire to live and the threat he poses to the woman he loves all while dealing with the progressively-rotting corpse of the best friend he couldn’t save who mercilessly prods him towards suicide.

Judging from what I’ve read thus far, it sounds like Del Toro understands the contradictions of the character and is on the right track. The supporting cast is also quite solid and the filmmakers even managed to snag Rick Baker for the makeup effects, which is a real coup given his history.

I’d love to be able to add this movie to the very short list of well-made werewolf films and I have a small, but growing hope that Wolf Man may actually have the goods.

Here’s hoping it doesn’t let me down the way so many of its brethren have. For now here's a little taste of what's to come.



-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Back in June it was announced that Futurama would be returning to television and there was much rejoicing.

But then in the midst of all the fan revelry there came another article, the kind that makes you want to pull out TV-Executive teeth with a pair of rusty pliers.

Thankfully it looks like things have been resolved and there will be no need for a spree of angry amateur dental extractions.

Or maybe they were just worried about being turned into Torgo's Executive Powder.



-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Diablo Cody’s new film aims to put some extra horror into the hormonal teenage lust of high school. Drawing inspiration from the 2007 movie Teeth, in which a teenage girl discovers an unexpected evolutionary defense mechanism and uses it to dispatch her would-be suitors, Cody’s upcoming movie Jennifer’s Body centers on another teenage femme fatale.

Jennifer, played by Megan Fox, is an object of lust for all the straight boys and a source of idolization and jealousy for the girls. She's the school's it-girl and uses her power and popularity to lord her position over the less fortunate. It’s a typical life for the queen of the social elite until Jennifer becomes possessed and starts eliminating her male classmates by giving them exactly what they think they want.

The horror plot sounds like pretty standard fare ala Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but add in the comedic side of the movie coupled with Cody’s flare for catchy dialogue and Jennifer has the potential to be a modern camp classic in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead and Slither.

Admittedly I’m not much of a fan of Fox as an actress, but I’m hoping that her lackluster performances thus far may simply be a case of not having been given a decent role yet. There's already some solid talent on board for the movie with oddball wunderkind Amy Sedaris and stalwart character actor J.K. Simmons helping fill out the ranks.

I’m also stoked to see Amanda Seyfried of Veronica Mars fame cast as the “geeky best friend” and I love the fact that they pulled the turn-stunningly-attractive-girl-into-nerd-by-adorning-her-with-thick-glasses-and-an-unfashionable-hairstyle trick, which I'm assuming is meant to be purposefully ironic.

We’ll have to wait until September 18th to see how Cody does with her second swing for the fences, but I'm fairly excited and optimistic. Until then we can sate ourselves with the trailer below.



That, my friends, is some catty, catty evil.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

I am deeply saddened to report that Irish-American writer Frank McCourt passed away yesterday at the age of 78. He was the author of a trio of autobiographical books that chronicled his life from early childhood into adulthood. The first of these, Angela’s Ashes, won him a Pulitzer Prize in 1997 and was followed by the novels ‘Tis and Teacher Man.

McCourt came to writing rather late in life, publishing his first work at the age of 66. Before that he had spent thirty years teaching English at McKee and Stuyvesant High Schools in New York where he was beloved by his students.

There’s an expression that says that the only story anyone can really tell is the tale of their own life. McCourt seemed to take that to heart when he chronicled his impoverished, rough and tumble childhood growing up on the streets of Limerick Ireland and later his struggles to make a place for himself and his family in New York.

For me McCourt will always be a literary hero; a man who wrote simply and succinctly while simultaneously filling his prose with character, warmth and charm. You got a sense of the man the moment you read his work. He embraced language without ever trying to hide behind it or make more of it than his tales warranted.

There are scores of people out there who can extol McCourt’s many virtues more eloquently than myself.

Personally the thing I admired most about the author was his unfailing honesty, which is perhaps the greatest achievement any writer can hope for. McCourt turned the heartache and hardship of his adolescences and the adventures of his youth and young adulthood into the epic and compelling struggle of an ordinary life.

He will be sorely missed, but never forgotten.

-Quoth the Raven

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A couple of months ago I talked about the potential future of The Muppets. As much as the idea of another Muppet movie excites me, there is always the worry that any new material won’t live up to the legacy of the original show.

One of the unique things about Henson’s creations, beyond the obvious artistry of their construction, was the complex nature of their personalities. Even as a kid I remember being aware of the subversive nature of what Henson was doing. Here were these fuzzy, felt creatures that looked like three-dimensional versions of children’s cartoon characters, but which spoke and acted like full-grown adults. The dialogue was filled with sophisticated, often acerbic, wit and thinly-veiled innuendo in nearly every scene.

Seeing The Muppet Show at that tender age was a revelation for me and it helped shape my understanding of both humor and art. As unexpected and unfiltered as Henson’s opus was, it turns out that he was even edgier back in his early days. Check out these ads for Wilkins Coffee featuring a pair of proto-Muppets:



Needless to say these commercials make watching Kermit rag on Miss Piggy about her choice of outfit seem positively tame by comparison. I know Stadler and Waldorf were pretty harsh critics, but neither of them ever put a bullet through Gonzo’s beak over one of his failed Evil Knievel-inspired stunts, though secretly I’m sure they wanted to.

I can’t imagine what viewers seeing these spots thought, but I’m willing to bet they didn’t go over so well. Thankfully the feedback from the experience probably saved Henson from having his later work yanked from the air before it ever found its audience.

Still, it would’ve been quite a sight to see Bunsen throw Beaker into an industrial blender and let the red felt fly.

Hmmm, maybe I should stop watching gory horror flicks right before I type these up.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone’s favorite pop-song parodist is back and this time Weird Al and crew have turned their considerable talents to dissecting the strange world of Craigslist by way of The Doors.

The lyrics are Al’s usual blend of observational witticism and humor.  His ability to hold a magnifying glass up to the fads and ephemera that grip our collective culture and then turn those phenomena back in on themselves is one of the secrets to his longevity.

Yankovic’s other great talent is his dedication to recreation.  As with his previous hits, the musical impersonation in this tune is shockingly accurate with Al and the band taking bits from Door’s classics like “Light My Fire” “Strange Days” “Riders On The Storm” and “The End” and mixing them into a melange that sounds like it could be a lost track from the band’s actual catalogue.

The video, created by Liam Lynch, plays like an homage to the Oliver Stone biopic.  I must say I was a bit shocked at the visual similarity created between Yankovic and The Lizard King when Al dawns Morrison’s trademark silver-belted leather pants and ruffled white shirt.

So without further ado, here’s Craigslist by Weird Al Yankovic.

Enjoy the weirdness.

Added: Turns out the Door’s own Ray Manzarek is playing keyboards on the track.  I guess that makes it bonafide. 

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Apparently Matt Groening and crew drank some extra Lazarus juice after their DVD resurrection because Futurama is once again returning to TV!

The show has had 26 new episodes ordered which will begin airing in 2010 on Comedy Central.

Ya hear that Fox!  You can bite our shiny metal asses!

What’s that you say? Comedy Central is owned by 20th Century Fox?

Eh, I stand by my statement.

-Quoth the Raven

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Alert!  Alert!

Anyone who’s been holding off on buying Rock Band 2 or Guitar Hero World Tour needs to check out this sale!

Everything is half off and the stuff is all new, despite the boxes being a bit shopworn from extended storage.

It’s first come, first serve, so get a move on!

That is all.

-Quoth the Raven

__________________________________________________________________________________________

When I made the decision to stop reviewing mainstream movies and shift my focus to covering smaller films, I did so because I thought there were a lot of pictures out there that were being missed by audiences simply because they didn’t know these films existed.

When Spiderman premiered in 2002, Sam Raimi instantly became a household name.  Everyone wanted to know where this director who had such a knack for vibrant, kinetic visuals came from.  To most Raimi was a complete unknown before getting behind the camera to helm the ongoing adventures of everyone’s favorite web-slinger.  For a few of us however, Raimi had already given us a superhero years earlier and that hero’s name was Ash Williams.

Evil Dead II is the epitome of a cult film.  I first heard about it from a friend of a friend whose older brother had a bootleg of the movie.  I remember being hunkered down in a suburban basement with a group of fellow film buffs watching a warped VHS dub as we all vied for space around the nineteen-inch television screen.

What I saw that day changed my perception of movies forever.  Here was a film that was both frightening and funny in a way that had only been hinted at in movies like A Nightmare On Elm Street.  These seemingly disparate elements were blended with a ragged energy that I’d never experienced before.  Even more profound was the realization that the filmmaker was having fun.  Raimi’s enthusiasm was apparent on every frame as he gleefully put Bruce Campbell through the wringer again and again. 

I think the Evil Dead trilogy benefitted from being homemade movies with an underground following because it allowed Raimi to make them the way he wanted to without worrying about things like market demographics or test screenings.

The reason I bring all this up is because Drag Me To Hell is Raimi returning to his roots.  It is in essence an indie film made by a man who no longer has to scrounge to create his art, but understands the value of doing things on your own terms.

Spoilers Ahead

Our story opens with a young boy who has been cursed for stealing a necklace from a gypsy’s wagon.  The child’s family brings him to a healer who attempts to rid him of his affliction, but ultimately she is unable to stop the wheels already set in motion and watches helplessly as the child is hurled around the room by an unseen force and dragged to the fiery depths below through a large hole in the floor.

We fast forward many years later where loan officer Christine Brown, played by Alison Lohman, is angling for a promotion, but is told by her boss Mr. Jacks that she’s too easy on the hard-luck cases that come into the bank.  Christine assures Jacks that she can “make the tough decisions” and proceeds to demonstrate by denying an elderly, bedraggled gypsy named Mrs. Ganush, played brilliantly by Lorna Raver, an extension on her mortgage.

Ganush pleads with Christine, but she refuses to acquiesce and when the old woman starts getting physical Brown calls in security, which shames Ganush and causes her to curse Brown, though only through the use of garbled profanities.

Later as Christine’s leaving work Ganush confronts her again in the parking garage and the two proceed to have a knockdown, drag-out fight, which ends with Ganush cursing Christine again, this time with the gypsy variety.

Christine is understandably shaken by the encounter and goes with her boyfriend, played by Justin Long, to a fortuneteller to assuage her fears.  Unfortunately the mystic confirms Ganush’s curse and says that Christine has been marked by the Lamia who will come to collect her soul in three days.

What follows is a series of torments that only Raimi could devise. 

Always a fan of using everyday objects to make the familiar frightening, the director gives Christine no quarter as the items in her house all conspire to plunge her into ever deepening levels of terror.  Raimi’s love of gross-out effects also comes into play during several cringe inducing moments that’ll make you want to avoid eating any big meals before viewing the movie, especially after learning that the production used actual creepy crawlers rather than CGI insects for the various hordes and swarms.

One of the other hallmarks of this film is the comedy.  Many of the most intense scenes are laced with moments of hilarity that cause you to drop your guard just long enough to get the daylights scared out of you a second later.  This dark humor also provides some wonderful character development as the tension mounts and desperation makes our protagonist do things she would normally never consider.

The supernatural disturbances continue to escalate and Christine eventually employs the help of the fortuneteller and his associate, the healer from the beginning, to help rid her of the curse.  The healer tells Christine that she will let the Lamia possess her and then pass the demon’s spirit into a ritual animal, in this case a goat, which will then be slaughtered thereby lifting the curse.  Needless to say, things don’t go according to plan.

I won’t reveal any more, as the ending to this film really needs to be experienced without any foreknowledge of the events. What I will say is that I thoroughly enjoyed the conclusion and everything that preceded it.  This film frightened and entertained without resorting to the myriad of modern Horror clichés that I personally believe have been degrading the genre in recent years and for that alone it should be applauded.

Fans of Rami’s early films won’t be disappointed.  Had Bruce Campbell been in the lead role it would’ve almost certainly been branded as the fourth installment in the Evil Dead series.  Personally I’m glad that wasn’t the case as Lohman did a tremendous job and really gave us something new to enjoy through her performance.

Overall I give Drag Me To Hell five out of five feathers.

If you like Horror films or good cinema in general, then you owe it to yourself to see this movie. 

I guarantee you’ll laugh yourself silly when you aren’t jumping out of your seat in fright.

-Quoth the Raven

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Is to hie thee hence to your local moving-picture house and go see Drag Me To Hell.

Here’s all you need to know: 

- It’s an old-school fright film written and directed by Sam Raimi, you know the guy who did those Bruce Campbell movies, and looks to be a glorious return to his roots.

- It combines humor and horror in a way that for once doesn’t center on a pack of myopic, moronic, sex-starved teens and their wacky hijinks.

And last but not least...

-It has absolutely nothing to do with J-Horror, Torture Porn, Remakes/Reimaginings or any of the other hackneyed, cliché frameworks that have been choking the life out of the Horror genre over the last several years.

Seriously, all you silver screen scream freaks need to see this film. It currently has a 95% at Rotten Tomatoes, a feat that’s all but unheard of for a horror movie on the site. 

For those of you who just can’t make it over the weekend, or for some reason actually value my opinion, look for my review to appear on Sunday.

-Quoth the Raven

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After weeks of speculation and nail-biting, Joss Whedon's fourth television series Dollhouse has gotten the green light for a second season.

This news was unexpected to say the least given the show's rather lackluster ratings during its season one run. Even Whedon himself seemed shocked by the news.

I've watched this show since the beginning and enjoyed it, but having said that I'll be the first to admit that the initial episodes were a bit formulaic and didn't really pull me in the way I'd assumed they would. I'm a big fan of all Whedon's previous television work, but when I started watching Dollhouse it didn't really feel like one of his shows. The first five episodes had a very paint-by-numbers approach, a style that was apparently mandated by Fox to be that way in order to "ease viewers into the series".

Not surprisingly the network's idea backfired and a lot of people stopped watching before it actually got good. This became such a problem that Whedon and the show's star Eliza Dushku had to keep telling people in interviews, "just wait for episode six".

This fabled sixth episode, titled "Man On the Street", finally let Joss do his thing and the show instantly improved. The series started to find its footing and get a feel for its identity in addition to gaining a momentum that was carried through to the end of the season.

Despite my earlier comments, I don’t advise skipping to the middle of the series to "get to the good part" as you’d end up missing out on all the setup, which is rather crucial.

Hulu still has the last few episodes of the season online, but if you’re new to the show you’ll want to wait for the DVD set to come out so you can rent them and start from the beginning. The DVDs also contain the unaired 13th episode, titled “Epitaph One”, which is the true season finale and according to Whedon will factor in heavily to the ongoing story.

I don’t know whether Dollhouse will end up realizing its full potential in the second season or garner the kind of ratings it needs to continue on for future years. Either way I’m happy that the show has been given a chance to grow.

At the very least this reprieve from the jaws of cancelation is a fitting penance for Fox's undue dismissal of Whedon's last series.

We Browncoats may eventually forgive Fox, but we'll never forget.

-Quoth the Raven

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A few years back there was a great deal of excited chatter surrounding the proposed Halo movie and its connection to Peter Jackson who was riding a career high after his masterful turn as director of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

As it turned out though, Jackson wasn’t signed on to direct Halo, but rather had been attached as executive producer. The man chosen to helm the film was an unknown South African visual effects wizard named Neill Blomkamp. Halo was slated to be Blomkamp’s feature-length directorial debut and at the time I thought it a bit odd to entrust such a large project to a man whose only previous experience in the director’s chair was a six-minute short film called “Alive In Joburg”.

Shortly after the announcement I read an interview with Blomkamp that began to change my mind. In it he talked about his desire to make an original movie that captured the reality of the world and the inhabitants on it. When asked about Master Chief possibly being created in CGI Blomkamp said:

“Well, the film has to have a feeling of reality, and so that means that I want to keep him real as much as I can, there is a necessity for him to become cg in sequences where a guy in a suit would just not work, but for the most part I am aiming for real.”

Having an effects guy tell you that he’s more concerned with realism than flashy visuals is a fairly unusual statement. Still, I wasn’t totally convinced of his sincerity until I got the opportunity to watch the aforementioned Alive In Joburg for myself, which you can view in its entirety below.



After viewing that piece and seeing how well he blended the fantastic elements with the grit of the real world I was a believer. The piece had a documentary feel to it, but it blended the aliens in to the point where I didn’t blink twice upon seeing them in the frame. Even the robotic suits, which stood out a bit more obviously, seemed like they were in the world rather than pasted on top of it.

Blomkamp had the right vision and visual sense to make Halo an incredible movie, but unfortunately he never got the chance.

The years that followed that buzz-filled summer of ’06 saw Halo’s planned production off and on again more times than a prom dress. At last count the film was supposedly on temporary hiatus and set to emerge sometime in 2012, but by most accounts even that far-away date is shaky at best.

So what became of poor Neill Blomkamp?

He and Jackson must’ve hit it off pretty well because the two have paired up to turn Blomkamp’s Alive In Joburg into a full-length feature called District 9.

The movie is set to come out in August of this year and you can get a sneak peak from the trailer below.



I suppose the lesson to be learned here is that forging ahead with your dreams in the face of adversity really can make them come true.

Staying friendly with Peter Jackson probably doesn’t hurt either.

-Quoth the Raven

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A while back a friend introduced me to a game called And Yet It Moves and shortly thereafter I found that all my free time had vanished. It got me thinking about the other simple little games that have wound up consuming me completely for extended periods of time such as World Of Goo and Peggle.

The latter title, Peggle, was created by a wonderful studio called PopCap Games that just released a new game this week that combines several intriguing elements.

Element One: Defensive Strategy. 
Element Two: Quick Reflexes. 
Element Three: Gardening & The Undead.

Plants vs. Zombies is a new take on the tower defense genre that asks you to harness your inner cranky old man as you attempt to protect the homestead by transforming your humble suburban yard into a flora fortified fortress.

The game begins with a freshly-sewn patch of sod and a pallet of plants, each with their own unique capabilities. You start off with the Sun Flower, which is the most basic unit in the game. Once planted these giant daises help generate sunshine, appearing on-screen as little floating cartoon suns, that you collect by clicking on them. After you accumulate enough sun points you can then use them to purchase the other plants in the game. Sun Flowers are one of the most essential units and are especially critical during night scenarios when they become your only source of solar energy.

In terms of firepower, one of the first units you get access to is a front firing canon called the Pea Shooter. This legume spewing turret, which bears a striking resemblance to Birdo from SMB 2, shoots a steady stream of ammo from whichever row and section you plant it in. In addition to artillery, the other two major types of combative units are various stationary defensive impediments used to temporarily block or disable the enemy, and a myriad of explosives, which do just what you’d expect them to.

There are many variations of these three unit types, each with a different cost and ability. As you progress you unlock more and more of these items, which is fortunate since your undead adversaries also continue to evolve.

The zombies come at you slowly at first, approaching in one of six rows and you have to make sure that each row has sufficient defenses to stop them from reaching your door at the end of the yard.  Sometimes your adversaries spread out and other times you’ll get several in the same row.  As time goes on the numbers increase and before you know it you’re dealing with an all-out infestation fighting desperately to keep up with the horde.

Beyond this brief description, the best way to understand the game is simply to play it, which you can do by downloading the free demo. (PC & Intel Mac, sorry Linux and PPC Mac users)

My own experience went something like this:

- Downloaded the demo last night and found myself amused for the first few minutes.

- Amusement quickly turned to determination as the walking dead began to swarm.

- Determination turned to engrossment as time began slipping away at an alarming pace.

- Realized I’d been loafing for half an hour and there was house work that needed doing.

- Reluctantly pulled myself away from computer to do some dishes.

- Accidentally left game running.

- Came back to game to discover that I’d burned through my hour of free playtime.

- Screen came up allowing me to buy the game and continue my lawn-defending quest.

- Utterly powerless to resist siren song of game.

- Purchased full Mac version and spent the next three hours playing.

- Found it very hard to leave for work this morning as I stared longingly at my laptop.

Those looking for other persuasive media beyond the demo can check out the trailer as well as this highly amusing music video.

I’m certain that many of you will become as addicted to this game as I have. It’s well worth the twenty bucks for the full version.

In the meantime, keep that grass clean, green and zombie free!

The neighborhood beautification council is counting on you!

-Quoth the Raven

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The remake of Nightmare on Elm Street continues to roll along.  Earlier this month it was revealed that Jackie Earle Haley would fill Freddy’s razor-fingered glove.

Now it’s been announced that the filming location for the new Elm Street will be in none other than my hometown of Chicago and students from two local suburban high schools are being given the opportunity to get in on the act.

Personally I’m not sure how I’d feel about being an active participant in the film series that fueled so many of my adolescent nightmares.  That said, the Krueger movies are one of the reasons I got into the horror genre and a part of me thinks it might be pretty cool, and possibly therapeutic, to have the chance to be eviscerated by the gloved wonder himself.

It’s probably for the best that I’m too old to qualify since I no longer have the time to spend night after night avoiding sleep at all costs or the constitution to consume can after can of Coke in order to do so.

That level of fright is best left to the young or at least people less jumpy and accident prone than yours truly.

-Quoth the Raven

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So once again I’m late to the party, having just discovered this article a full year after it was originally published.

For those not familiar with Liz Phair, she burst onto the alternative music scene in ’93 with her first studio album Exile In Guyville.  That record garnered a huge amount of acclaim that Phair has spent the rest of her career trying to live up to.

Her followup album Whip-Smart went on to sell even more copies than Guyville, but all anyone seemed to want to talk about was her debut.  This sentiment persisted with the release of her third record Whitechocaolatespaceegg and shortly after that Phair disappeared for five years eventually reemerging on major label Capitol Records in 2003.

And that's when the bad thing happened.

There’s been a lot of speculation as to why Phair altered her routine and started working with teenie-bopper, hit-makers The Matrix on her self-titled album and the subsequent followup Somebody's Miracle.  A lot of people thought it was a grab for mainstream acceptance and the financial perks that go with having radio-friendly albums.  I think there may be something to this theory, but I don’t buy it as the primary reason that Phair changed gears.  You don’t write a song called WHC, which stands for White Hot Cum, with the intention of getting major commercial airplay.

I think Phair was tired of people expecting her to make another Guyville and angry that she couldn’t appease either the fans or the critics by doing her own thing.  I’ve always thought Whip-Smart and Spaceegg were both criminally underrated by many people, especially the latter of the two.  This is a subject that's near and dear to my heart and one I’ve discussed before in a less gentile manner.

To hear her now say that it was more pressure from the label than frustration with her musical identity or legacy actually makes me feel a lot better about it.  This situation has happened before with countless artists; bands like Radiohead who have a love/hate relationship with their early success, notably with their first hit single. It’s also the same excuse that scores of artists have used about their less than stellar material since the dawn of time, but honestly that doesn’t really matter to me.

As far as I’m concerned she can blame whoever she wants.  If it means that Phair will go back to making records of substance, albums like her first three, then I’m willing to forgive her just about anything.

Here’s hoping I get that chance.

-Quoth the Raven

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I’m not sure how I took so long to find out about this, but file me in the better-late-than-never column for some exciting news about everyones’ favorite felt entertainers.

It seems that while evidence of a new Muppet television show continues to elude fans, despite persistent rumors, a new Muppet movie may be in the works.

This latest attempt at a big screen Muppet adventure is being helmed by Judd Apatow protege Jason Segel, who first attracted the attention of the creative crews at Henson and Disney with his Dracula musical featured in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Segel had already been working on the project outside of the film and when his puppet bloodsuckers found their way into the story the Henson Creature Shop was called in to create the characters used in the production.  This collaboration apparently inspired Segel to pitch his idea for a new Muppet movie to the powers-that-be and it appears that Segel impressed the two studios enough to give him a shot.

The screenplay is being written by Segel and Nicholas Stoller, who is also attached to direct the picture.  Anyone who wants some early spoilers can check out some impressions of an early draft of the script. Personally I want to be surprised.

This could of course all fall through and a part of me is wary of even getting excited about it, but I just can’t help myself.  Even if this doesn’t end up being what I hoped for it will at least be nice to see the gang again if only to find out what they’ve been up to.

I’m certainly hoping that some of the rumors I’ve heard over the years don’t turn out to be true.



-Quoth the Raven

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I’ve made no secret about my disapproval of Michael Bay.  The man is a walking anathema for horror movies.  His abysmal remakes of classic scare fare like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hitcher leads one to wonder if he was somehow wronged by the genre as a child.  Maybe Leatherface buzzsawed his bicycle tires or perhaps John Ryder ran over his puppy.

Regardless of the reason, it seems that Bay has made it his mission to sully the beloved movies of my youth and thus he has raised my ire and made me scorn his very existence.

Which makes this announcement hard to reconcile. 

Fate it seems is not without a sense of humor and thus it has placed the venerable Jackie Earle Haley as the Christmas-sweater-wearing, razor-gloved Freddy Krueger in an attempt to torment me.

Haley was easily my favorite part of Watchmen and in a lot of ways his role as Rorschach has parallels to Freddy.  Being able to spout gallows humor quips while maintaining a sense of menace is a fundamental quality of both these characters and Haley has already shown he’s up to the task.  Off hand I can’t really think of anyone as qualified or more desirable to take over for Robert Englund.

So now I’m torn. 

Do I ignore this remake because of my loathing for Bay and his shit-equivalent of the Midas touch or do I give Haley the benefit of the doubt and assume he can pull this picture through?

Guess I’ll have to wait and see how things develop, but there’s this twinge inside me that might just be hope.

That said, Michael Bay can still engage his mandibles on my luminescent alloy posterior.

-Quoth the Raven

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One of the problems I have with modern horror is that it tends to rely heavily on shock and visceral special effects to deliver its message. What started out as merely a subset of the genre, the “slasher film” has grown to become a staple of the industry and seems to make up the majority of the fright flicks being produced today.

Worse still is the fact that this new breed of slasher has amped up the carnage to ludicrous levels and morphed into “torture porn”, whose only rule seems to be the more gore the better. The recent spate of films that have come out over the last few years are completely interchangeable to me and I find this trend disheartening and disappointing.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for blood and guts in horror, but I guess I’d like to think that the genre has more to offer than simply turning stomachs. More than anything I just want to be entertained and simply being grossed out doesn’t do it for me. There has to be something more for me to connect to, be it the characters, the setting, the story or preferably all of the above.

Which brings us to our feature presentation.

Severance is a dyed-in-the-wool slasher film, which revels in its body count every bit as much as the Hostel and Saw franchises do. What makes this film work is the heavy dose of black humor that accompanies the machete mutilations and axe decapitations.

Minor Spoilers Ahead

The film opens with a group of employees off on a mandatory work retreat. It’s the typical wilderness excursion that offices all around the globe participate in where coworkers help each other across rope bridges and engage in matches of capture the flag in order to promote leadership and teamwork.

One key difference with our merry band of cubicle dwellers is that they happen to work for Palisade Defense, a military weapons contractor that, not surprisingly, has made more than a few enemies in the name of supplying land mines and mortars to the oppositions of various warring factions.

On the bus ride to their destination we get to meet our protagonists who are all pretty familiar templates of workplace comedies. You’ve got the earnest, but haggard, boss who still believes in the company, the office beauty that’s the object of constant unwanted advances, the sycophantic brown-noser, the overenthusiastic go-getter, the burned-out lifer, the foreign-exchange coworker and the drug-indulgent, perpetually-partying slacker. These characters may seem rather stock, but the actors do a nice job with the roles and the archetypes get amusingly twisted as our story unfolds

When the group arrives at the “luxury rustic resort” it turns out to be a rundown, old cabin that appears as though it hasn’t been inhabited in several decades. Everyone aside from the boss, sycophant and go-getter are understandably disappointed and when our intrepid band of travelers further investigate their humble abode that disappointment begins to turn to dread as they uncover evidence of the dwelling’s sinister past.

I won’t go into too much detail beyond this point as describing any of the specific scenes would serve to ruin the surprise and this movie is full of surprises. I will say that our heroes find themselves in a great deal of peril and that these situations are simultaneously gruesome and hilarious. That’s not to say that every dramatic moment has a joke planted in it, but the tension is nicely undercut with humor.

For me the comedy was not only my favorite part of the film, but its saving grace. I honestly cannot withstand scene after scene of visceral gore even if the story I’m watching warrants it. At some point I just shut off, not so much because I’m disturbed by the imagery, but because I start to disconnect from it. I think my reaction comes from the fact that I no longer see a character in trouble, just a victim waiting to die and I really have no interest in that kind of exploitation.

The humor in Severance helped me grow attached to the protagonists and it kept me rooting for them. Even the less sympathetic characters still have reasons you want them to stick around. When one of the leads is trapped in a room with a madman on the other side pounding on the door and in the midst of this nail-bitter a funny little moment occurs that hearkens back to an earlier scene it makes the whole thing turn on its head for a second and that’s a wonderful feeling.

The scenario I described above doesn’t actually occur in the film, I told you I wasn’t going to spoil it, but you get the idea. This type of thing happens over and over in the movie and it makes the piece compelling.

A lot of comparisons have been made to another British horror-comedy film, the oft and rightly hailed Shaun of the Dead. While I adore that film, and pretty much everything done by the comedic dream-team of Wright, Pegg and Frost, I feel the need to point out that Severance is a different breed altogether.

As I stated earlier, this is a tried and true gore fest so those expecting a couple of slightly bloody scenes mixed in with their off-beat comedy might find themselves covering their mouths when things start to get gruesome. People squeamish of or easily offended by the current style and intensity of horror films need not apply. You’ve been warned.

For those like me who enjoy horror, but don’t like the mindless brutality that seems to dominate most of the current crop of films, then I heartily recommend you give this one a try. It’s definitely worth the price of admission.

Overall I give Severance 4 out of 5 feathers.

That’s right, I’ve got a ratings system...that I just came up with...right this instant.....dammit now I have to go and make some feather graphics.

Updated: Added feather graphics.

-Quoth the Raven

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I ran across an article about an up and coming company called OnLive who claim to have developed a server-based processing mechanism that eliminates the need for heavy-duty hardware for the end user. 

According to the article, OnLive plans to let anyone with as little as a laptop Mac or PC play the latest and greatest games without ever needing to upgrade.  Those in the console world would have to purchase a small, custom box from the company with minimal specs in order to get the same experience over their television sets.

This certainly sounds like a great idea in theory, but it will be interesting to see if it actually materializes and if it does what the end experience is like.

So what do you guys think? 

Is this the wave of the future or simply vaporware in the making?

Added: Looks like the guys at PA read the same article.

-Quoth the Raven

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The advent of Netflix, and other such mail-delivery services, was supposed to herald in a new era of convenience for media lovers.  No longer would you have to pop on down to the rental store to procure a movie or videogame.  Now all you had to do was select your item online and wait for your postal carrier to deliver it right to your door.  Such a luxury is truly a sign of our wondrous modern age.

Or it would be if I weren’t so blitheringly incompetent.

I’m the kind of customer Netflix loves.  The type of person who is somehow incapable of completing the simplest of tasks, like putting a pre-paid-self-sealing-envelope in a letter box.  Rather than watching a plethora of films with my subscription, as any rational person would, I opted to pay for the privilege of holding onto a single movie for months on end; not to watch said film over and over, but rather to play an elaborate game of hide-and-seek at which the DVD in question easily outmatched me.

It’s true I could’ve reported the disk as lost, but that would’ve meant publicly acknowledging that I’d been duped by an inanimate plastic disc and I just wasn’t willing to do that.

After nearly a year went by I was ready to admit defeat and quietly cancel my subscription.  I was on the site looking for the official process needed to end my misery when I came upon an interesting discovery.  Turns out Netflix had started streaming some of their films online which could be viewed for no additional charge using your computer, or better still, a media device hooked up to your television such as the X-Box 360 I’d recently acquired.

Suddenly I was the victor.  My incompetence had paid off and they had eliminated the pesky postal part of their mail-delivery service.  Now all I had to do was press some buttons on a controller and viola, instant movie.  I’m sure that using a game console for this purpose might be daunting to some users, but I was a child of the Atari and Nintendo generations and had spent countless hours of my sun-shunning youth and subsequent “adulthood” mastering such devices; this was something I knew I could handle.

So I plunged headlong into a vast sea of cinema plucking items from my cue and devouring them one after another.  In short order I had gone through everything available and once again felt as though I’d been defeated, this time by a rectangular, plastic brick, which had lured me in with promises of riches only to leave the cupboards bare after a few scant weeks of entertainment.

I was disheartened and downtrodden, but then a small ray of hope came to me.  One day while riffling through my cue looking for something familiar to occupy my time, I discovered a film that hadn’t been there before.  Cautiously I pressed the play button and proceeded to spend the next ninety minutes enraptured by a little gem of a flick that I hadn’t even heard of.

Apparently there were little, benevolent gremlins inside of my Netflix list and they had given my a precious gift.  I began to scour the virtual stacks and added to my cue any film with a compelling description or saucy cover.  Over the coming days I viewed this trove of curiosities and though many turned out to be ghastly ghouls disguised as celluloid beauties, a few of the movies were genuine treasures like my previous discovery and they gave me a reason to press onward.

This entry marks the introduction of a new series of film reviews for flicks I find off the beaten path using my newly-acquired streaming powers.  Heaven knows that no one needs my opinion on something like Watchmen or any of the other blockbusters that are always given enough ink to fill a swimming pool.

Instead I’m going to focus on the overlooked movies that slip by with nary a notice.  Films that fall left of center, independents and overseas productions that don’t make the major rags.

The first of these pieces will appear later this week.

I hope we all enjoy this new adventure together.  It will undoubtedly take us to some interesting places.

-Quoth the Raven

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Saint Patrick’s Day is upon us once again and with it comes “the wearing o’ the green and the reinforcing o’ the stereotypes”.

I can’t remember where I first heard that quote, but it still makes me smile and also makes me proud of my heritage.

The Irish are the only folks I know who not only aren’t ashamed of their caricatured reputation, but actually embrace it.  Fond of a good drink, a good song and a good story, the people of the Emerald Isle, their descendants and those unrelated souls who simply are moved by the spirit, choose today to kick up their heals and kick back with a few pints.  It’s a cherished time spent with family and friends to recall past revelries whilst celebrating new ones. 

Here in Chicago the holiday is treated like Christmas in springtime.  We throw massive parades on both the north and south sides of the city, we dye the river green (well greener anyway), we listen to live bands from sunrise to sunset, and we eat and drink till we can’t see straight, though I’m not sure whether it’s the food or alcohol that does it to us. 

For a lot of people though, stepping out to celebrate simply isn't possible.  So for those of us staying in this holiday, I thought I’d compile a list of ways to have some Irish-inspired fun in the comfort of your own home.

Food:

The traditional emigrant Irish meal is generally comprised of corn beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes, soda bread, and beer or cider.

The corn beef, cabbage, and potatoes are a pretty straightforward recipe.  Generally a crock-pot and a pot of boiling water are the only elements you’ll need as far as the actual cooking goes.  Preparation obviously takes a bit more, but not much.

The soda bread is a bit trickier, but again none of this is gourmet cuisine.  A little time, effort, and practice and you’ll get the knack for it.

For those of legal drinking age, traditional Irish beer is of course Guinness and for the cider drinkers like myself there’s a great import I enjoy called Magners, it’s really lovely stuff.

Music:

So now that you’ve squared your meal away you may want to listen to some music.  There’s plenty of wonderful instrumental pieces. Any collection of Jigs and Reels will probably give you a decent feel for the sound. 

For some lyrical history you can delve into the infinitely vast world of Irish folk music.  There are so many story songs in Irish culture, also known as ”pub songs”, that it’s practically a genre of music onto itself.

If you’re looking for something that combines traditional sounds with a contemporary feel, then there’s really no better band than The Pogues (thought I was going to say U2 didn’t ya).  I suggest starting with the older stuff when they still had their original lead singer Shane MacGowan.  (MacGowan has since reunited with the band, but was absent for several years and thus didn’t sing on the more recent albums)

Movies:

After you’ve danced yourself silly you may want to wind down with some visual entertainment that doesn’t involve your uncle balancing pint glasses on his forehead.

Those interested in learning about Ireland’s fight for independence should check out Michael Collins.  It’s one of Neil Jordan’s best films, which is saying a lot, and Liam Neeson does any incredible job playing the title role.  Admittedly it is a somewhat one-sided account of history and I don’t know how fairly Eamon de Valera was portrayed, but even with that caveat the piece is still very moving and gives a sense of the internal conflict that Ireland faced as a nation trying to stand on its own.

For a more modern look at some of the struggles in Ireland check out In the Name of the Father.  This film centers on a group of men and women who are brought in for a crime they didn’t commit and forcibly coerced into false confessions.  The main event in the movie is the trial of the protagonists by the British Government, but it also deals with the rocky relationship between a father and his wayward son.  Like Collins, it’s the leads in this piece that make it so incredible.  Daniel Day-Lewis and Peter Postlethwaite turn in breath-taking performances and really represent the heart of the film.

Since I don’t want to come across as the world’s most depressing Irish cinema lover, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite films of all time The Commitments.  It’s the story of a group of guys and gals looking to pull themselves up from their working-class doldrums by forming a “Dublin Soul” band.  The movie is simultaneously humorous, heart warming, and musically astounding with all the singing and playing performed by the actors on screen.  Interesting fact, the actor who plays Deco, the lead singer in the movie, was only 17 when the film was made.

So now you’ve got all the makings for a little home-grown Saint Patrick’s Day celebration. Remember to have fun, be safe, and for f**** sake don’t drink too much.

I'll close with a little saying from the old country.

May those who love us, love us.
And for those who do not love us,
May God turn their hearts. 
And if he cannot turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles.
So we may know them by their limping.

-Quoth the Raven

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I was flipping through my Watch Instantly cue on Netflix last night and I ended up landing on something that I had no recollection of reserving.  This has happened before; the little gremlins that live inside the website are apparently capable of adding things to your list that they figure you’ll find interesting based on your previous selections.

I’d watched several horror films the week before, one of which I’ll be reviewing on this site in the coming days, which made the Netflix gremlins think I’d appreciate ”100 Years of Horror”.  This mystery pick turned out out be a TV series from the mid 90’s hosted by 70’s-horror-staple and cinematic Gandalf nemesis Chistopher Lee.  Each show is dedicated to a different subject ranging from monsters, mutants and space aliens to psychos, slashers, sadists and everything in between; naturally I went straight for the werewolf episode.

Anyone who’s even vaguely versed in the golden age of monster movies knows that Lon Chaney Jr. is pretty much the godfather of silver-screen actors with body-hair issues.  There were arguments made during the show that earlier efforts like Werewolf of London more justly deserved the title, but most will concede that The Wolf Man is still where it all really began.

In the midst of my stroll down lycanthropy lane, an image suddenly came into my mind and then began to fade as abruptly as it had appeared.  I grabbed my laptop from the couch before the picture had completely vanished and quickly googled “Werewolf, Frankenstein, Dracula record”.  The results came back and I clicked on one of the entries labeled “A Story of Dracula, The Wolfman and Frankenstein” and was greeted with this image:



I knew I was on the right track and after several minutes of additional searching I hit upon this blog entry, which had what I sought. 

Contained on the page linked above is the complete audio and imagery from one of my prized childhood possessions.  These follow-along stories were big in the 70’s and early 80’s before cable television became ubiquitous across America.  The idea was to get kids into reading and what better way than to fill the stories with adventurers, pirates and scary creatures.  The iconic monster trilogy above was the best of the bunch; listening to it now I still feel myself being drawn in.

Experiences like this are interesting because they not only make you remember what happened years ago, but also make you recall who you were and how you felt.  Nostalgia is really the closest thing to time travel we’ve got and it doesn’t even require a flux capacitor, just a little spark of memory and some persistent internet searching.

So now it’s your turn.  Tell me the last time you had a moment that hurled you back in time. 

What triggered the event and where did it take you?

I await your rose-tinted answers with bated breath.

-Quoth the Raven

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What's better than a PSA about surviving an encounter with a bear?

How about the same PSA done entirely in the wonderful world of stop-motion.

Check out these claymation safety tips and take notes so that your next trip into the forest winds up better than it does for our intrepid clay camper.

-Quoth the Raven

P.S.  Page 33 of Twenty-One is now up.

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Ran across this really cool site of a dad who draws custom art on brown paper bags during his lunch break so that his kids have a new design every day for their lunch at school.

I can’t tell what medium he’s using for the illustration.  It almost looks like colored chalk, except that the work seems too detailed for that.  I’m sure one of our Oddlots members with more insight into the craft can tell me what he’s drawing with.

The guy really runs the gambit from original creations to kid icons both new and old.  There’s some nostalgia from my childhood like this robot from Blackhole and his larger Robotech buddy, videogame characters like our good friend Toad and the star of Okami and then there’s just the stuff that makes me smile like Trent in Mystic Spiral mode, a Pixar-style Batmobile, m’sieurs Calvin and Hobbes and what I interpretted as some sushi-to-be fighting back.

All of the artwork is really well done and it’s clear this guy has a lot of talent.  Unfortunately the company he works for recently went under and he’s currently out of work.  Anyone out there with any leads on videogame illustration jobs should give this guy a buzz at the email address linked above.

I wish our mystery lunch artist good luck in the job hunt and I hope that when he does land a new position that he still has time to create more of the wonderful pieces like the ones he’s done so far.

Chin up good sir, you clearly have a gift and I’m certain you’ll land on your feet.

-Quoth the Raven

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Just wanted to drop a quick note to say that page 32 of Twenty-One is now up.

My schedule has once again become very busy so things may be a bit sporadic, but I will keep trudging forward.

I also have an exciting announcement coming up, but I have to wait until some things are finalized to make it.

Hopefully you find such cryptic tidbits of information titillating and tantalizing rather than just infuriatingly vague.

I'm going to assume it's the former.

-Quoth the Raven

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Rejection letters are a burden that anyone working in a creative field has had to deal with.  

In the writing arena they're almost seen as a badge of honor; a sign that you can hack it and have developed a thick enough skin to survive in the rough-and-tumble world of publishing.

Regardless of the medium, putting yourself out there artistically is a difficult and often scary thing to do and no one wants to be told that their efforts aren't up to snuff.  

Unfortunately this is the nature of the beast and the best any artist can hope for is that their work is judged fairly and in the case of rejection that the reviewer provides some constructive criticism and perhaps even a few words of encouragement.

What one doesn't generally expect is unmitigated discrimination, especially not the kind that is blatantly spelled out like the example below:


(original source)


I realize this letter was written in 1938, but it's still startling to see such brazen sexual bias.  The response seems even more bizarre knowing that the author is also female.  Perhaps Ms. Cliane was simply trying to be honest, but her tone seems a bit too passive-aggressive for me to truly believe it. (the scheming witch right below her signature is painfully ironic).

In truth I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.  My mother went to college in the 60's and on her first day in a biology course she was singled out by her male professor and told that she was "wasting a seat that could be occupied by a boy".  

She went on to ace that class and got her degree in biology, graduating with honors.

I hope that Mary Ford got to pursue her dream, if not at an animation studio then in some fashion, and that she was able to give the finger to close-minded bigots the same way my mother did to that professor. 

Incidentally it would be far from the last time my mom flipped the bird figuratively or literally, though these days she usually reserves it for reckless motorists.

Lesson for today: Don't piss off mi madre.

-Quoth the Raven

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Just wanted to drop a quick line to say that page 31 of Twenty-One is now up.

I apologize for the delay. The holidays sidetracked me quite a bit, but as of now I'm back on schedule. 

Full speed ahead!

-Quoth the Raven

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So I finally heard back about the story I submitted for publication, Road Kill, exactly one year ago today.  

Unfortunately my persistence with that publisher did not pay off and I regret to inform you gentle reader that my efforts were rejected.

I have no qualms with the rejection itself, but I am displeased that it took a full year to receive the reply.  Given the publisher's situation the delay was understandable, but I've decided that I am not willing to tie up my work for that period of time again and will be observing a much more stringent set of timetables for future submissions.

I've already sent the rejected piece to a new publisher and I'm hoping to wrap up revisions on a third short story very soon and send it off as well.  Additionally I'm coming to a close on Twenty-One and plan to devote the time after its completion solely to short, publishable works with a goal of getting one completed piece done each week.

That's my strategy going forward and I hope I'm able to stick to it.

Wish me luck.

-Quoth the Raven

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