"Alliance Airport Information BUBBA, recorded when the big hand was on  the 12 and the little hand on the 3 in the afternoon.
 
Temporary flight restrictions in effect due to the Nascar Race.
Y’all  stay well  east of the grandstands as some of the spectators may be drinking  and may  be  'packing'.
 
The winds are from Laredo,  at about…oh, as fast as you and your new girlfriend can run from a bar if someone’s chasing you to get his wife back.
 
The sky’s clear,  except for all the smoke.  What the hell are all those people  doing out there in the parking  lot in their RVs?
 
IFR  arrivals, expect visual RWY to the south is in use.  Makes it easy,  straight  in  for you  OKIES.
Everybody from South Texas is already here.
 
All arrivals  of skinny white  “ B i z n e s s ” jets  coming here for “ B i z n e s s ” ,  make sure to stay well well away from the grandstands, as you look just like  some waterfowl  that’s in season now.
 
Put  two-niiiiner point seven-six in the little window that tells you how high up you are; and make sure you tell us  when you first talk to us,  you have information  BUBBA."