Landed


While flying from Maryland to Ohio last week with a couple of co-workers, we touched on the topic of business travel and Southwest. My friend JJ was dissing letters from business travelers who say they never fly anything but Southwest -- who would do that to themselves?? Aside from an interesting and timely piece in the NY Times this weekend on airlines' loyalty programs and the respective advantages of Southwest's offerings, I could see some possible solid reasoning myself. If you don't travel enough to get into the top tier of travelers on the standard airlines, then you're well-served by flying your infrequent flights on Southwest because everyone is treated exactly the same, and it is somewhat better than how you are treated by any of the other airlines. It is a democratic experience, rather than feeling like the great unwashed on American or United.

Yesterday night, I had the opportunity to feel like the great unwashed on American. Since I am now Platinum instead of Executive Platinum, my days of flying First Class on the non-stop between Austin and San Jose ("nerd bird") are over. And in a very unceremonious way. I got crammed in a middle seat, and the man beside me was incredibly large. Morbidly obese. Somewhere over Arizona, he decided to turn his enormous back to me and sleep, but rolls of his flesh came over the armrest. I just turned on my iPod Shuffle and read and tried to block out the reality I was living. Flying is not fun when you have to fly Coach!

Once I got to San Jose, since I did not have any food on the plane, I decided to indulge my lowest impulses and went to an IHOP. Seeing the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n' Fruity still on the menu after all these decades made me extremely happy. No, I did not order it. I had eggs and grain pancakes, yum. As I was leaving after paying my check, a man followed me out, and complimented me on my eyeglasses. I don't remember exactly what he asked, but it amounted to, what glasses are those? All I know about these frames are that they are Jones frames purchased at Eclectic Eyewear in Austin. When he told me that, he started going off on how great a town Austin is. I was exhausted and nodded yes, yes, yes and was getting in the car when I heard him shout something about Oilcan Harry's... Aha. Of course. Usually, I get it when a strange man comes up to me and starts to make small talk, but last night I just did not see it coming. I just wanted to go back to the hotel. The thought that went through my head as I drove back to the hotel was, why oh why is it that no woman ever ever ever come sup to me and hits on me? Why is it always men?

Posted: Mon - March 14, 2005 at 11:42 PM        

©