The Gods of the Old World
The Great Empire,
at its height, worshipped a large pantheon of capricious gods.
Many a wise philosopher during the golden ages of the Empire
asked the highest theologians of the time why anyone would
even consider worshipping deities so bent on the utter destruction
of man. Many a wise philosopher died during the height
of the Empire. It is quite likely these two facts are related.
The pantheon of gods was said to be lead by the god Pjiu the Devistator. According to the myths of the Old World, Pjiu created the world by smashing his fist into the perfectly smooth plane that existed at the beginning of time. The plane shattered, the chunks becoming the sun and the planets and the splinters becoming the stars. When asked why a shattered plane would create spherical chunks, the leading theologians stammered for a bit then explained it was a holy paradox. The highest theologians are believed to have been smarmy bastards.
Pjiu had a consort by the name of Vzhi. Vzhi was said to be the mother of all gods, according to the myths. Some of the more esoteric myths also claimed she was the flat plane at the beginning. These myths also suggest it wasn't a fist Pjiu smashed her with. Those myths were generally only told once the children were in bed. The stories of the Holy Trinity of Pjiu, Vzhi, and Grok were only told at later times still, generally only in the baths before sporting events.
The god Z'Astran was the lord of evil. When portrayed on stage, he is always shown in a tight fitting black unitard, a large black flowing cape, and some sort of black cloth covering his eyes. He seems to have been either the brother or the son of Pjiu, or possibly both - the myths aren't very clear on this point. The legends state that he is responsible for the imperfect nature of people. How he is responsible - or even what is imperfect - is not certain, though it seems to have involved a tube and a roll of duct tape.
The They were said to be the enforcers of the gods. They were almost always portrayed as Amazonian women dressed in somber clothing. It is unclear why a group of omnipotent beings needed enforcers, the most common theory was laziness. When called upon, the They would perform whatever vengeance deemed necessary by the god from minor annoyance to soul annihilation.
P'huc, the Detonator, was the lord of all things explosive or just spectacularly destructive. He is also the most frequently referenced deity, as he was almost always invoked in times of great irritation or rage. He was also worshipped as the god of masculine sexual skill.