Casey Sheehan


 


Since the right-wing folks like Michelle Malkin seem to have suddenly developed psychic powers with respect to poor dead Casey Sheehan, I thought I'd give it a shot. After all, I used to write Dr. Strange for a living--and I have the latest in modern technology.

"Um hello? Is this thing on? That's a nice iPod, by the way."

"Anyway. I would really, really like to know how you guys think you're honoring me by smearing my mother. What do you think I was fighting for, if not her?"

"No, I'm not going to tell you whether I support George Bush's policies and the conduct of this war. If I said I did, you'd sit around and feel justified--and if I said I opposed it--well, who's going to trust a disembodied podcast from beyond?"

"No. what I want to say is--first off, just how incompetent do you think we are? Criticism at home causing soldiers' deaths? You're as good as saying that we're such piss-poor soldiers that we'll screw up and get ourselves killed if we aren't given happy talk all the time? We're professionals, damn it! We're in life or death situations every day! We don't allow our friends to die. or die ourselves--because of criticism. And if you think the insurgents need any more encouragement than they've already got, you're just plain crazy. 'Oh, I wasn't sure about attacking the Americans just because Allah promised me blessed martyrdom--but now that I know that Mrs. Sheehan's against the war too, lemme at 'em!'"

"You want not to cost the lives of the troops? Try getting us some armor for our humvees! You want to make the Iraqis fight less fiercely? Apologize for Abu Ghraib!"

"OK, but more to the point--if you're really worried about how we feel--felt--feel--over in Iraq, do you really think we're going to feel better to know that our mothers are going to get called racist and insane if they disagree with the war? I've got news for you: even among the most upright down-the-line let's- roll guys on the ground, there are plenty with moms who hate the war. Plenty. And even among those guys, the idea that if they die, that their moms are going to be vilified on national TV for mourning them and wanting to know why they died? If there's something from back home that could bust someone's spirit, that would do it. "

"Like I said, we're soldiers. We don't let our buddies down. Let Michael Moore and MoveOn say the war is wrong--we'll still do our jobs. But if there's one thing we do expect--we the dead as well as the living still fighting--and pardon my French, but--lay the FUCK off our families."

"Support the troops. Support Cindy Sheehan."

"I love you, Mom."

(The transcription was impeded by this annoying New Age music that kept fading in and out, but I think I got it down all right.)

Posted: Sunday - August 21, 2005 at 02:25 PM        


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