The War on Christmas


 


Yeah, yeah, nothing on this site for months, and then this? Well, I been busy, I been sick, my hot water heater died and I was without water for nearly two weeks and my car threw a rod on the Ohio Turnpike coming home from Thanksgiving. So I got excuses.

But this is just a little too good to be wasted on somebody else's blog comments, so here it is.

"Happy Holidays, sir."
"Hmph! On second thought, I'm not going to buy anything at this store."
"Oh. Can I ask why, sir?"
"You wished me 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'. It's 'Merry Christmas', dammit!"
"I'm terribly, terribly sorry, sir. I only said that because I thought you were a Muslim."
"*splutter* What? What? Of all the outrageous--what on earth made you think that?"
"I'm sorry. It was your air of anger and intolerance. You seemed to be glaring at the decorations--"
"What? What? How DARE you--"
"--and in those cases, we feel it's prudent not to further exacerbate the situation by saying 'Merry Christmas.' I'm terribly sorry I mistook you for a Muslim fanatic, sir. It was a terrible error in judgment.'
"You thought I was a--a--"
"Most Christians, we've found, are warm and friendly around Christmas. 'Peace on Earth, good will towards men' and all that. So someone who seemed to be bristling with hostility, I jumped to the conclusion that you weren't a Christian. I sincerely apologize."
"I've never been so insulted in all my life! I'll boycott you! I'll--"
"Sir?'
"WHAT?"
"Merry Christmas, sir."

Posted: Sunday - December 04, 2005 at 09:07 PM        


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