An Election Eve Conversation



From my esteemed friend Roger Bertholf came this message:

Hi Fitz:

As I face the prospect of going to the polls on Tuesday, I have to admit that I am seriously conflicted. Maybe "conflicted" is not the right word. Perhaps "disillusioned" more accurately describes my feelings about this election. I have the unsettling hope that there will be a landslide in favor of Democatic candidates. I've never felt that before. Two things put me over the top.

First, we have a candidate, Rep. Foley, who has resigned but is still on the ballot. How stupid do you have to be to write sexually explicit instant messages to minors? Is there anyone living in the 21st Century who doesn't understand that electronic communications are traceable? The whole thing was just sickening. I will have to say, though, that I'll never be able to hear the often-used cliché "I just want to make sure we're all on the same page, here" without sniggering.

But the other thing that convinced me Republican politicians are completely inept was something I heard on NPR a few days ago, on the way to work. Abby was with me, since I drop her off at school on my way to the hospital. Katherine Harris, U.S. Representative from the 13th District in Florida, is challenging Senator Bill Nelson for his seat in this election. In a debate, she was asked about her support of the war in Iraq. Her response began with this astonishing gaffe: "Well, if we all knew now what we knew then. . ."

I turned to Abby, our eyes met, and we simultaneously burst into laughter, disbelieving what we'd just heard.

Is it too much to ask, my good friend, that our politicians have, at the very least, a respectable command of the English Language? I'd be more drawn to a candidate who spoke Spanish, which I don't understand, as long as his or her discourse revealed some hint of intelligence.

But it's not limited to Republicans: Kerry blows a joke and throws the whole election into chaos, even though he's not up for re-election. He's like the drunk buddy who wants to challenge everybody to a fight--his heart is in the right place, but he's just stupid, and bound to get you into trouble.

You must remember the topic of our debate against the fun-loving Kiwis at Madison: Resolved, that the people get the politicians they deserve. I think we argued the affirmative.

Sadly, I think we've been proven right.

Best regards, my friend.

Roger


My reply:

Roger,

When I was in private practice in Portland, I remember a discussion in the physician’s lounge about the actions of the hospital administration. One faction argued that they were completely inept. Another faction argued that they were following a sinister master plan. Then, one fellow asked, “Are those mutually exclusive? What if it’s a completely inept sinister master plan?” He had a good point.

I think Congress should be made of citizens who come, serve one term, and then go home. Our current bunch of boneheads is deadly to the argument that experience is helpful in this job. That would gum up the revolving door between Congress, lobbyists, and corporations. It would also change the calculus for buying legislators. Now, they wouldn’t stay bought. It would be harder to buy them, with no re-election campaign chests to pour money into. They could work, instead of going to fundraisers. People would actually have to operate of the basis of what they (or their constituents) think, rather than which party’s jersey they were wearing.

I sure hope there is not serious goofing of the vote. Anyone paying attention knows that if Karl Rove were capable of rigging vote counts, he would. So the next question is: Can he?

Done any gazing into your crystal balls lately?

Posted: Sun - November 5, 2006 at 08:40 PM        

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