I was 'saved' after being brought up from a child in a Baptist church in Luton. I

continued to be part of that church and thrive and grow, especially when I was able

to supplement it by attending an Anglican housegroup where I learn about the Holy

Spirit and was filled for the first time. I am grateful to both those churches for the

foundations they gave me in different aspects of my Christian walk. That was the

start of my charismatic experience (whether or not I feel that label is useful now).

After going away to university I experienced a Baptist church that taught against

much that I had experienced was a genuine experience of God. This was not a

good place to be and left me feeling frustrated, so I left (something I try and avoid

doing). For the rest of my time as a student I was part of a small non-

denominational charismatic community church. I am grateful to that group for

teaching me much about community and shared life. I did not enjoy their heavily

bias pro-Isreal teaching and prayers, but that was a learning experience too.

After a few years in that church myself and my wife (married soon after college) felt

called to be part of what in the UK was nicknamed the Restoration movement

(charismatic churches led by an 'apostolic team'). I am grateful for my 11+ years in

that new church. I learnt a lot about spritual warfare, discipline, accountability and

praise & worship. But sadly in the end what had started as an emphasis on

'kingdom' became an exercise in professionalism and externalism. In the end the

church split over this which was even sadder (and I felt could have been avoided).

After the split my family were part of a new church with lots of good devoted brothers

& sisters. The leadership started well with a real emphasis on grace. But in the end

they did a 'pendulum swing' so far away from the pre-spilit church that it ended up

hyper-Calvinist. I had never before thought in these terms, but when presented with

Limited Atonement being preached I knew in my spirit that this was not the God I

loved. Going back to scripture and seeking the truth, I discovered my convictions

were very Arminian. We had to leave on this sadly, but I have been encouraged by

Wesley's writing from that time on (and read more theology).

We are now in a great little church that is very family & youth focussed. It has a very

gracious attitude but is very modern in its thinking. I have a warm friendship with the

pastor and leadership team but they are all convinced conservative charismatic

evangelicals who hold moderate calvinist views; which is ironic.

Anyway, I was ready to settle down. But it seems Father still has me on a journey.

Ever since I became convinced of Arminian thinking, I made contact with Ichthus.

They were a big help and introduced me to openness theology writers like Clark

Pinnock and Greg Boyd. I have loved their books and from that basis have ended

up reading and becoming convinced of a whole range of what I could more broadly

call 'progressive evangelical' views. These include Conditional Immortality, Thiest

Evolution (what a relief to me given my science degree background), Open Theism,

Infallibilist view of scripture, Christus Victor model of atonement etc....

What has been troubling me since then has been:

(a) I don't see a unifying theme/worldview/meta-narrative to these views. I feel that

open theism has opened my eyes (excuse the pun) to see God and the world

differently but I have no comprehensive model or frame of reference to

systematically review my other beliefs to fit in line. I guess if I'm honest as well I was

begining to think that God was not helping me to do this either - so maybe such a

neat system was not his aim?? (I am starting to love more narrative theology)

(b) Although I am passionate about some of these views and part of me wants to

argue with most of the rest of my local church on these matters - I know God has

called me to be part of this community and somehow both hold to truth as I see it

and be in loving fellowship with a church family who see things quite differently.

A challenge - but helped by the fact they are a great church family, talented and

kinder than me. I know I can learn much from them if I am humble enough to listen...