Wed - October 3, 2007

Klatsch Me If You Can

A show of hands for sweetness.

Illustration by Gimlet Rose. @2007 Nigel Enterprises

What's it like, to be a cookie jar?
Well, let me see ...
Do you want something sweet?
Then you must come to me.

So here I sit, and there you go ...
Scattering those crumbs to and fro.

Sometimes I meet up with a bunch of nuts;
Other times it's those with leaden butts.
From my perch, what so I see?
Lots of sweetness, yessiree.

And O the times the treats they are stolen.
Whoever opined that silence is golden
Knew nothing of the telltale krinkle of cellophane
Telling all of a snickerdoodle's fame.

A parade of creams, chews, assorted wafers and bars
Go by my nose at the pace of speeding cars.
But does no one ever stop to think
Of the cookie jar? I need a shrink!

All those cookies under my nose, guard and eye
And I get nothing...
Pillsbury Dough Boy, hear my cry!

--Gimlet

Posted at 08:41 AM      

Sat - December 18, 2004

What does it matter?

From soup to nuts ... we'll swallow anything.

Oh, it matters, all right ...
Soup.
We used to associate that with a comforting dinner at home and a grilled cheese sandwich.
Now we think of Dioxin and assassination attempts on Ukrainian opposition candidates .Dare Ukrainians think Orange? How Dorian Gray!

Speaking of poison, there are the folks at Sinclair Broadcasting , the people who own or operate 62 television stations that systematically produce "news" content of a partisan political nature.
What's wrong with that? Well, they lease, they do not own the airwaves, and they lease those airwaves on the condition that they give balanced play to opposing views.
Sinclair is a few crutons shy of this in the fare they offer.
They are so biased that we fear their honor has been stolen.

BUBBLE, BUBBLE
GIVE SINCLAIR TROUBLE
We are not buying Sinclair's brand of soup. In fact, we Doodles, two wire fox terriers and a large black cat, are not buying anything linked with Sinclair.
Mr. Doodle's Dog is joining in a boycott of Sinclair advertisers !
We found all the boycott ingredients at SinclairAction.com .
And we discovered the boycott through a very tasty site, Media Matters for America , headed by conservative tool turned liberal watchdog (we love watchdogs!) David Brock (not spelled like the candy).

'WAITER, THERE'S A LIE IN MY SOUP'
What began as a blurring of public relations and bad and biased journalism has now become wholesale disinformation.
OK, LIES.

This pot has been cooking on the stove long enough ... it's time we stop taking this swill and take action. Write advertisers, boycott, and make yourself heard in your own community of friends. Tell them you question information sources, you do not just partake of them without looking at their labels.

We're living in an Andy Warhol World (yes, we know... he was an artist and probably a liberal and blue and Pagan and ... whatever) ... we're living in a Warhol World where the message is the package and the package is art. We buy into spin and talking points and media, not just with a human bias, but with a right-leaning slant that shames the leaning tower of Pisa.
How long before the slant becomes intolerable and the Tower of Babbleheads comes tumbling down? (In an effort to reach evangelicals, we insert a Biblical refrerence there.)

Time to do a Paddy Chavefsky and stop taking it anymore.
We're off to write our e-mails to the Sinclair advertisers ...
--The Editors

Note: The Tomutto toy in our graphic illustration is available online at Barker and Meowsky .

Posted at 09:03 PM      

Sat - May 22, 2004

The cat does not have these tongues

If we had our druthers, and we do, we'd rather be wags.

The idea board ... where Nigel and Gimlet can always find a moment to muse.

How do we do it? And why doesn't anyone stop us?
Things catch our attention ... more often than we'd like, and usually when we are without something to write on.
We collect all manner of dog-related materials and we, pardon the expression, squirrel things away. Dogs and their two-leggers send things to us. We have correspondents in Maine, Finland and even ... The Great Green Beanie Beyond.
Eventually, it all turns up on The Dog.
It's our Jungian catch-all.
The two of us may toss an idea or concept around ... we may scrap a bit over the details ... but everything gets hashed out.
Once we post, it's toast. Done. Over. No regrets or retractions. Uh uh.
Joe the Cat is the last stop on the photo conga line. He's the one who decides what goes. And you don't want to mess with his rhumba.
We are purists when it comes to our illustrations and graphics.
We love web grabs and fonts... Fonts! P22 is the place to go for those! Love that original digital illustration, and the collages done by Terry Russell. Above all else, our motto is ... why not? who's going to stop us?
What we do not allow is ... tracing.... what kind of warped thought process sees traced photos and clip art as original inspiration? A hack is a hack is a hack, little dogs! You will not find such things on The Dog. We support art and artists, and have no time for soul-challenged technicians who've never dared to face a blank canvas.
Pfffttttt!!!!
You will find some blunt talk, some pointed chat. What do you expect from two wire fox terriers? It's not as though we were real journalists or artists ... or anything.

Posted at 09:48 PM      

Sun - March 28, 2004

Black eyes. Better to give than to receive?

Feeling a bit Churchillian, we interview his old companion.

Calumny is on the menu.
Blackguards have come to dine.
We have The Black Dog with us.
Yes, that one.
Churchill's companion . Samuel Johnson's mutt at our heels and at our disposal.
We are feeling blacksheepish, but never at a loss for words, even if they be woeful.
--Nigel

Nigel: I don't know that 'welcome' is in order, but ... it's the polite address. Welcome, Black Dog.
Black Dog: Thank you, Nigel.
Gimlet: Wooooooo.....
Black Dog: You can do better than that, Gimlet. Let me advise you.
Gimlet: No thanks, I like to keep a certain cheerfulness to my woooooos. And a certain distance from ... you.
Nigel: Gimlet.
Black Dog: Oh, not to worry. I'm accustomed to it. Gimlet, I understand you're from a small kennel. Nothing wrong with that, you know.
Gimlet: Thank you for your validation. I know there is nothing wrong with being from a small kennel. I am from a kennel where quality is the byword. And I'd like to say bye to you, but my breeding dictates I be polite. But not a fool.
Nigel: Gimlet ...
Black Dog: Oh, Nigel, you don't have to worry. I understand how she is ... those smalltown views. The insular thinking ... Your graciousness, however, is extraordinary. And to think that you are a rescue. Not to worry, I know your family loves you dearly.
Gimlet: See? He's working his mojo on you, Nigel.
Nigel: Black Dog, what was Winston Churchill like? How did you hook up with him?
Black Dog: He was an extraordinary man. Of course, I never told him so. We met up when he was just a lad, being largely ignored by his beautiful American mother, Lady Randolph Churchill .
Gimlet: What about his father? What was his role in all this?
Black Dog: Of course his father was Lord Randolph Churchill . He was a younger son of the Seventh Duke of Marlborough ... quite a politician. Contracted syphilis at an early age, though, and his mind turned to jelly. Died at 45, as I recall. Winston never got over it.
Gimlet: Hmmm. Ungoverned inbreeding if you ask me. Sounds as though Lord Randolph could have been from a large kennel.
Nigel: Those lords are leaping for a reason.
Gimlet: Black Dog, you have issues.
Black Dog: Now, look ...
Gimlet: You're a parasite. You hang around with good people and you bring them down. You give dogs a bad name. You're the very example of bad breeding ... you hurl your little asides and then act all defensive. I'm onto your game.
Black Dog: Nigel, as a rescue, you know firsthand the caprice of life.
Nigel: I think you misunderstand what a rescue dog is, Black Dog. We are not discards. We are chosen. I wear 'rescue' as a badge of honor. It means my life was worth saving.
Gimlet: Save your breath, Nigel. This one's a shill for bad news. No better than a puppymiller.
Nigel: Yes, anyone who would taunt Winston Churchill, who loved his dogs, is beyond redemption. Gimlet ...
Gimlet: Let me say it, OUT, OUT, DAMNED BLACK DOG!
Nigel: There are you, Black Dog. You are the first interview subject thrown off Mr. Doodle's Dog. A backhanded honor. Wear it well.

Posted at 09:53 AM      

Wed - February 11, 2004

Forty Winks

Gimlet has a laugh about behavior modification.

Self-portrait by Gimlet Rose

Aaahh.... aaaaarrrrrfffffff!!!
Phooey!!!!
Well ... over a week of the "canine behavior modification" program now .... I believe I am winning.
I remain myself. Unmodified. Unbelievably wiry. Fey. Rascally.
I've been sent to my crate quite a lot recently. Doesn't matter. I love my crate. I have a library and I've been doing some reading.
That which does not modify my behavior makes me stronger-willed. It is written.
I'm going to beat this behavior modification thing ... and I"ll be sharper and more devilish than ever.
Aaaarrrffffff...... woooooooo!!!
It's Joe the Cat with another book shipment from Amazon.com!
--- Gimlet

Posted at 09:29 AM      

Wed - January 21, 2004

Turning Heads

A evening walk downtown gives pause for thought.

Photo postcard by Alfred Manzer

The weather has been terrific the past two days.
Cool, dry ... mostly sunny. Rare weather in this part of tourist-heavy, invaded and really uninhabitable Florida.
Most evenings we walk downtown. Our little town of Dunedin is an oasis of small town quaintness in the Tampa Bay sprawl. We can walk on sidewalks all the way from our house to downtown and the city marina.
We're lucky.
So we took our walk last night.... It was quite chilly! ... Passed a restaurant or two, and some people heading for their cars.
There were a few gasps (yes, gasps!) of "Wire Fox Terriers!"
Always nice to be appreciated for just being ourselves.
A block down, we decided to detour around Wee Garth Park and then head home. A woman across the street kept smiling at us. A few minutes later we were headed home, and the same woman passed us in her car.
She was driving the wrong way on a one-way street, just to wave and get a better look at us.
Wooooo!
That was lovely. But as we neared home, we noticed an old friend was missing. An old oak tree had been removed on our path. It had been a huge tree, and at one time its beauty had persuaded the city to pour their sidewalk around it ... But now the sidewalk takes a turn for no apparent reason. We missed our tree, and the owls that usually perched on its branches. Where did they go?
Enjoy your walks if you're lucky enough to take them, and keep watch over your friends.

Posted at 08:56 AM      

Wed - January 7, 2004

Acting squirrelly

Gimlet ponders: why are people so nutty?

Photo by Joe the Cat
Gimlet sits in the back window and waits for a squirrel to climb the feeder.

People can be ... so squirrelly.
Oh, the insanity. Oh, the humanity.
Have dogs, and they don't walk them ... or spend much time with them.
Have cell phones, must yap on them ... and then complain when a dog yaps.
Don't get it.
Overspend and overeat during December, tighten belts and eating during January.
It's inevitable and predictable.
Have cats, declaw them. No, no, no.
Eat too many sweets, then watch your pet's weight.
Dare I mention Potts? There's a case for you!
(You probably have a Potts in your life. Unfortunately, most of us do.)
Oh, well. It's very pleasant here in my sunny window. I will hope for an afternoon walk, then a tasty, home-cooked meal, then a chilly evening's walk.
Delightful!
Things are already looking better.
--Gimlet

Posted at 08:52 AM      

Sun - December 28, 2003

Wrapped a tad too tight

What's a little dog to do when the holidays go out the door?

Holiday self-portrait by Gimlet Rose

Tell me oh oh what can I do?
Christmas is gone and I'm feeling blue.
Tell me oh what can I do

All things considered, I prefer being a dog.
This year we had a Christmas tree in the house. The first in my lifetime. Usually, it's a rosemary tree or maybe an assortment of baubles or some festive thing on a table .. .The table is the concept here. Everything had to be out of my reach, because I am a bit light-pawed.
But this year we all needed some cheer, and a tree seemed the ticket. It was, too. We have a beautiful little tree that continues to shine. It's loaded with animal ornaments, relics of Pier 1 Christmases gone by. I have yet to steal a thing.
The tree's here, but the holly jollies have gone south. There's no anticipation, no hustle or bustle. Our cool weather is reverting to its humid and sticky self.
I try and try to be a good dog. I proudly wear my new George collar, I run around with Nigel's new fetch toy (OK, I stole that) and I'm trying to act elfie.
It's a struggle.
Help me out here, people.
Let's remember that the spirit of the December holidays doesn't have to vanish. Let it linger. Enjoy.
Treat yourself and treat others who need help. Lend a paw.
Find out what a local animal shelter needs and make a donation. Fill their coffers.
Make a donation to your favorite breed rescue (being a WFT, Fox Terrier Rescue and the Fox Terrier Network are tops on my list. After all, Santa slipped me a few bucks this year).
Yes, all things considered, I prefer being a dog.
Dogs appreciate the little things ... we get what this season is all about. And once we've gotten a good grip on something, we don't like to give it up.
Do this little dog a favor and act a little doggy -- latch onto the Winter holidays for just a bit longer!
-- Gimlet Rose

Posted at 02:05 PM      

Fri - December 26, 2003

Holiday classics

St. Nick, Frank and Stanley drop in for a rousing Christmas

After delivering oodles of cookies to hungry Floridians, Nigel
returns home in time for Christmas.

What happened during our Christmas?
There were no tree incidents.
Nibbled on some tasty Brown Noses from our local K-9 bakery.
Received St. Francis of Assisi medallions from George .
Sipped some champagne while opening presents.

Listened to Christmas CDs by the Squirrel Nut Zippers, Britan Setzer and Mojo Nixon.


Enjoyed marrow bones.
Baked a batch of Geordie's Savoury Cheese Biscuits.
Dined on chicken livers in broth over kibble.
Dispatched some elves from the backyard.
Read some Dickens.
Napped.


Lights, lava lamps, Santas and Christmas cacti adorn a TV center.
Such is the modern hearth.

Watched a favorite Millennium episode from 1997: "Midnight of the Century."
Fell asleep during Stanley Kubrick's "Eyes Wide Shut." (no reflection on Stanley. We were tired.)
Counted our reasons for happiness.

Posted at 12:01 AM      

Tue - September 23, 2003

Celebrate

What better reason than our favorite season?

Yippeeee!
Fall!
Our favorite time of the year is here!

I'm enjoying some Good Boy dog chocolates.
Dig up something tasty and start your own celebration.
Fall!

Posted at 08:50 AM      

Tue - September 2, 2003

Something to chew on

The cafe is open.

Someone named Plato wrote this in his "Republic." It's not a new book or on Oprah's Book-of-the-Month Club, but we think this passage is interesting:

"About which is also to be found in dogs, and a remarkable characteristic it is, too.
What is it?
The fact that a dog will be fierce with a stranger, though the stranger has never harmed him, while he will be gentle with one he knows, whether he has received any kindness from him or not. Has that never struck you as quite marvelous?
I must say, I never thought much about it, but it is evident that dogs do behave in this way.
Surely this is an admirable trait in the dog's nature. Indeed, it is this trait that makes the dog a philosopher.
A what?
A lover of wisdom. Do you not see that knowing and not knowing are the sole criteria the dog uses to distinguish friend from enemy? Does it not follow that any animal that verifies his likes and dislikes by the test of knowledge and ignorance must be a lover of learning?"

Posted at 11:54 PM