A Big Deal


FDR's canine companion Fala checks in with observations on what makes a perfect president.


Gimlet: It's dark in here with just the candles.
Nigel: Dogs see better in low light. People probably do, too, but they just don't realize it.
Gimlet: The board is moving all over the place ..... Hello, Fala!
Nigel: Hello, sir. Good of you to come and speak with us.
Fala: Oh, it's good to be here. Nice of you to have me on your dog blog.
Gimlet: How is President Roosevelt? You were buried at his feet, weren't you, since you were his closest companion?
Fala: Franklin is fine. He's not happy at the way things are being handled right now, but he says things will get better.
Nigel: When?
Fala: Next November, with any luck.
Gimlet: Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Nigel: It's funny, but it's sad, too. All at once.
Fala: No kidding. I feel for that poor Barney.
Gimlet: We have to remind our readers that Barney is the Scottish Terrier who lives with President Bush.
Nigel: I'm not sure he's really the President.
Fala: He's not.
Nigel: You mean Al Gore really won the election? How do you know?
Fala: I'm a Scottish Terrier and I'm dead ... I know everything.
Gimlet: Grrrrrrr. Let's nip him and drag him out of the place!
Nigel: Oh, he'll be going soon enough ... Fala, what was it like to live with President Roosevelt?
Fala: Franklin was just the best. Still is. We went everywhere together, he took me for rides ... car, train, airplane, ship ... you name it, we rode in it.
Gimlet: Did he drive a car? I thought his legs were paralyzed by polio.
Fala: Sure he drove his own car! He had special hand controls and brakes. I bet he was a better driver than Laura Bush.
Nigel: What do you mean?
Fala: Well, she has a little something in her driving past ... Can you say vehicular homicide? She was 17 and driving her car in her little Texas town when she ran a stop sign. She ran over and killed a person ... turned out to be her ex-boyfriend.
Gimlet: Oh my Dog!
Fala: It's not a secret, but the records have been a trifle ... expunged. It's not something the press brings up much.
Nigel: Watch out, Barney!
Gimlet: Maybe President Bush could take Barney for a ride.
Fala: Uh, I don't know about the wisdom of that.
Nigel: Oh yeah. The DUI and the alcoholism. Yeah, Barney would be better off taking the bus.
Fala: Poor Barney. I had it so good.
Gimlet: But President Roosevelt drank cocktails, didn't he?
Fala: President Roosevelt knew how to handle his liquor, the country, and just about everything else. He had to. The fate of the world depended on it.
Nigel: True. And he did all of those things, plus was a great human to you.
Fala: He was, and is, the best.
Gimlet: Will there ever be another president like him?
Fala: Only if people pay attention and learn to think for themselves. We're terriers, we know all about that, but lots of people don't. It's your duty to show them how.
Nigel: You're talking about basic obedience for humans ... Good idea!
Gimlet: Wooooooooo!!!
Fala: I have to be going, Franklin likes me to stay at his side.
Nigel: What advice would you give to Barney, to help make his White House tenure as wonderful as yours?
Fala: Just this: Barney, the next time you see an open door, make a run for it. Don't look back!
Gimlet: Thanks, Fala! Nice talking with you.
Nigel: Cheers, sir!
Fala: Until next time!










Posted: Mon - August 18, 2003 at 10:25 PM          

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