Thu - December 20, 2007

Martha Stewart Wonderland

You say shortbread.
I say: "fav'rite cookie."
You say it's Christmas.
I say "oh, goodie!"
Shortbread. Cookie.
Christmas. Oh, Goodie.
It's Gimlet in a cookie bake-off...

BABY, It's
Cole Porter
Inside

Don't have sugarplums, but we have the cocoa.
Gots the motivation, but do we have the mojo?
Confectioner's powder all over the place.
Make them in the Cuisinart. There won't be a trace.

We're baking more shortbread to fill our sleigh.
There'll be no humdrums on this day.

What's that you say?

Shortbread! Chocolate. Best cookies ever.
It will be that way till the Twelfth of Never.

On Butter! On Flour! Aforementioned sugar...
Did we mention the rolling can be a booger?
Dash of vanilla (the good kind, ok?) and a dash of salt.
The other batch disappeared. Is that our fault?


Oh, Gimlet's in the kitchen.
She's baking chocolate Falas.
Could they be for some White House gala?

Never! Santa's not stopping at Pennsylvania 1600. Not this year.
That little man has been naughty, we hear.
What else we heard? Barney's run away.
He caught himself the first taxi-sleigh.

Gimlet's in the kitchen.
She's method-baking.
She's an Alton Brownie, and she's not faking.
There's a little Stuart Davis in her rolling pin action.
Gimlet has that Daddy-O traction.
Her wooden pin glides all over that chocolate cookie dough.
The cookies are perfect, well, wouldn't you know?



Gimlet's nod to the shock of the new:
Notice the Silpats. They number two.
Both Made in France and not "in China."
As far as Gimlet's concerned, nothin' could be finer.

And now the kitchen smells like five pounds of dark chocolate fudge.
Is that good? You be the judge.
Oh, Gimlet's in the kitchen on a cool December day.
Visions from Martha above her head sway.


Sugarplums? No. As we said, we don't have them.
We have the cocoa, the butter, the action....
We have all it takes to make shortbread, my sweet.
On, Gimlet! On, Fala! On, Barney (poor soul)!
There's a fresh batch of cookies
For the Man from the Pole.

Posted at 08:33 PM      

Mon - December 17, 2007

Are we nuts?

We're in fine literary form and it's the holidays.
Why not take advantage of it?
Take the haifru challenge.

Taking a nod from Jeff Houck, food writer and interactive reporter (well!) at The Tampa Tribune, we offer a twisted seasonal treat and friendly adventure.
A literary fruitcake competition gone to the dogs.

Take the haiku:
a form of Japanese poetry comprising a pattern of 5, 7 and 5 syllables in 3 lines. Use commas and hyphens at your discretion.
Take the fruitcake:
a form of cake. Use fruit and nuts at your discretion.
Take the dog.
But only for walks and rides!
You have the haiku/fruitcake, known forevermore as the
haifru.
Let's try:

Red sugar orbs cry
Out for more green gooey glaze.
Cake is left behind.

Another (this is catching!):

Not a biscuit. No.
What kind of dog would eat this?
Fruit. Nuts. Batter up!

More?

Bowl full of brown cake.
Faithful Fido shakes his head.
No! Not this! Rats, please?

Create some haifrus and you take the cake! No, not really. But you do get this badge of honor for your blog or desktop...


We are sending this along to several clever dogs, and we hope they'll pass it along to their clever dog friends.
The world, you see, is full of clever dogs, and so many of them are more than just plain nutty.

Posted at 09:49 PM      

Sun - December 16, 2007

LONG AND SHORT OF IT

Chocolate shortbread cookies.
It's what's on our Yuletide training table.

Photo by Joe the Cat (who needs a new camera)
Gimlet gets all her ingredients together to make another round of her
world-famous, not-made-in-China, globally gobbled, chocolate
shortbread cookies.

Short 'n' Sweet
It's the middle of December, and as long as we can remember, it's the best time to bake cookies.
--wire fox terrier adage

The butter was waiting, unsalted in the fridge.
Cocoa in the cabinet. Use Dutch process, kids.
Confectioner's sugar, all fluffy and white.
A bit of Madagascar vanilla, to give it flight.
A dash of salt from the cabinet, and you're just about there.
Flour, flour, and more flour... that all-purpose fare.
On, Cuisinart food processor! Shake for all you're worth.
Don't forget that last bit of something ... a wee bit of mirth!
Some rolls of the pin, a few stamps of the cutter ...
Time spent in the oven... forget all the clutter.
Chocolate shortbread cookies, all over your plate.
If we just smiled, it was something we ate.
--Gimlet Rose


Ritual, thy name is cookie.
We found our chair and hauled it into the kitchen. I like to see what I'm doing.

The kitchen decorations were out. This year's theme: "Wireween Christmas." Don't worry: the orange tree is made in India.

Use the food processor method with these cookies and it does most of the work for you. Julia Child loved to use food processors whenever she could, and we're not ones to disagree with her.
Once the Cuisinart did most of our work, we discussed the perfect rolling method; 1/2-inch thickness was our goal. No longer a novelty, Silpat lines our cookie sheets. There's no scorching, but shortbread is a capricious thing. Butter, butter and more butter, you know. Butter burns, so use your timer.
Religiously!

We had some time, so we discussed politics. Where's an FDR when you need one? Come to think of it, where's a Fala when you need one? He at least could appreciate a fine chocolate Scotch shortbread cookie.


We put the cookies into a 300 degree oven to bake 25 to 30 minutes. That's as difficult as this recipe gets. We had to move the chair and the cookies across the kitchen to the oven. We used all sorts of dog magic to accomplish this.


The trick to perfect shortbread is watching.
The trick to perfect chocolate shortbread is more watching.
Will anyone but our Doggie Dad get to sample these cookies?
Not on our watch.

Posted at 07:30 PM      

Sun - January 16, 2005

It's Good Eats!

She got the cake.

Photo by Joe the Cat (who could barely control himself).

Alton Brown (he's cool, find out about AB here ) is coming to Tampa tomorrow. (With a short stop at the newspaper where some people we know work.)
In his honor, and because he just loves to use his cast iron skillets, Doggie Dad made one of Alton's recipes.
Pineapple Upside-Down Cornmeal Cake.
No kidding.
Go here for the recipe and find out what good eats is all about.

Posted at 07:29 PM      

Sun - January 11, 2004

Treat Yourself

More legs than Emeril, more hair than Jamie Oliver, he's Geordie the Scaly Scot.
His Savoury Cheese Biscuits are meant for a savage feast.

Illustration by Gimlet

Having read of his exploits for years, we're delighted to have made the acquaintance of Geordie, North America's most famous Scottish Terrier. Geordie the Scaly Scot, as he's known to his friends, lives in the prairie province of Saskatchewan in Canada.
Geordie is as famous for his wit as he is for his biscuits, and we hope to catch up with him soon for an in-depth interview. But for now, we are pleased that he's graciously given us the recipe for his Savoury Cheese Biscuits.
Although these are "dog" biscuits, everyone in our family enjoys them.

These can be made with a mixer, with paddle or dough hook; a food processor, with a steel blade; or a bread machine on the "dough" setting.
This very flexible recipe can be embellished with a variety of cheeses.

2 cups all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
4 tablespoons Cheez Whiz
1 to 1 ½ cups grated cheddar cheese
Good terrier shake of black pepper
¼ cup vegetable oil
3 tablespoons wheat germ (toasted in the oven)
⅓ cup dry milk powder
1 to 1 ½ cups water


Photo by Joe the Cat
Gimlet inspects a batch of nicely-browned cheese biscuits.

You can omit the Cheez Whiz but it makes the batter nice and smooth and a quarter cup won't kill anybody.
Mix everything up. Adjust if the dough seems too soft or stiff by adding more flour or water.
You want a soft but firm, and not sticky dough ... something very close to a bread dough.
Refrigerate for at least three hours, covered with plastic wrap.

Divide dough in two pieces. Roll out the dough using no extra flour until it's quite thin. Cut into pieces and bake at 325° for about 25 minutes on greased cookie sheets. You can turn them over once during baking to ensure even browning and crispness.
You want these dry and crisp, quite dark in color but not burnt.
(If you use a Silpat sheet on your baking sheet, they will not get too brown, however.)
Cool.
These store well covered for 2 weeks in a refrigerator.
Hoist a toast to Geordie the Scaly Scot while you're munching.

Posted at 07:51 PM      

Thu - January 1, 2004

Grateful for Latkes!

Should old New Year's traditions be forgot (Guy Lombardo, Dick Clark) and ne'er brought to mind,
We'lll fry a batch of potato pancakes yet, for we're getting tired of Hoppin' John and its kind.
Take that Robert Burns!

Gimlet fries up another batch of everyone's favorite holiday food.

Ah, the simple potato pancake.
It is the best of all possible foods.
Dollops of grated potatoes, eggs, flour, salt and pepper fried in oil.
Nothing could be finer.
There are as many variations of the latke as there are stars in the heavens, but the standard ingredients are as life-sustaining and delicious as a crisp dog biscuit on a lazy morning.
Latkes!



Cast iron skillets are the pan of choice for latkes. The pancakes
will stay crisper if they're drained on a baker's rack rather than placed on
paper towels. Even Brawny paper towels.

Latkes are a great way to begin, continue, endure, enjoy, survive and end a year. Fry up a batch. Your
people will love you.

--The Kitchen Doodles

Posted at 07:58 PM      

Thu - December 25, 2003

One Smart Cookie Dog

Who does all the baking during the Winter holiday season? You'd be surprised.

Gimlet checks on the dough for another batch of her signature chocolate
shortbread cookies. Joe the Cat offers his opinion from the catbird seat in the window.

Joyeux Noël to everyone! Ho Ho Ho and all that jazz!

We've been busily baking cookies for weeks and weeks. Every dog we know has been practically chained to their kitchen stove and counter, trying to fill cookie orders for the holiday season.
Now ... we can rest.
Nigel arrived home at two minutes before midnight. He'd been on a whirlwind trip to Tallahassee, where he delivered boxes and boxes of chocolate shortbread and praline cookies. It's Christmas morning, and he's sleeping in. I don't blame him, he's exhausted, but I'm itching to begin our annual Christmas morning celebration. We open a bottle of Champers, find the most decadent sweets in the house, and open presents.
Wake up, Nigel!



I like the holidays, I really do. But far too much attention is paid to that big guy in the red suit, that Santa Guy. Never seen him. Never have caught a whiff. And I think, with my credentials, that I would be able to spot a fat, ill-dressed burglar breaking into the house.
OK, so lots of people give Santa Claus credit for delivering presents on Christmas. A lot has been written about him over the years. I won't go into it. But why hasn't anyone given credit to all the dogs who bake cookies for the holidays? We bake all of them. Every cookie crumb that passes your lips has been touched by a dog paw.
I don't know why we've never received any credit for all this baking. Not even the Food Network has corrected this culinary oversight.
The Smoking Gun needs to look into this.


Stringent quality controls assure that each praline cookie is sweet and
delicious. Gimlet checks a batch before it's boxed and sent out for rush delivery.

Kinda funny that lots of dogs will be receiving "dog" cookies as presents. We're baking the world's holiday sweets and we're rewarded with wheat germ, soy and carob confections .... Oh, well. I know we'll sneak a few cookies during the next few days.
By the way ... latkes? Dogs make those, too.
Happy holidays to all! Enjoy those cookies!

Wake up, Nigel!

-- Gimlet Rose

Posted at 09:07 AM