Movie Review: Indiana Jones 4
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the
Crystal..
ohmydeargodthey'realiens!
OK... I was with them 10 years later in 1957.
Makes sense. I was with the bad guys being Russians. I was even hip to the
Russian chick being a paranormal investigator- I know Russia has been toying
with psychic powers since the early 1950s. No
problems.
I was with them on the search for the crystal skull because it has some sort of secret power. Let's face it, we've seen Indy take on the Koran with the Ark of the Covenant, the Hindi writings with the Shankara stones, and the Christian New Testament with the Holy Grail, so crystal skulls with ancient secret powers are cool with me. Besides, I saw it in The Phantom not too many years ago, with Billy Zane in there as the Ghost Who Walks. Anyway, I'm all down with crystal skulls.
I'm cool with the motorcycle kid..,. even with him being Indy's son by Marian Ravenwood... good way to bring back that character, and introduce a new one who can carry on the series, especially since Indy is getting... a little... old.
I'm cool with the humor... Indy making fun of how much easier it was in the old days. Shows that the writers know that they are dealing with characters that age as the actors do.
Writers. Wait. That term might be giving a little too much credit. I mean, maybe it wasn't writers. Maybe they got all those monkeys from the Tarzan scene (no, I am not making this up), put them in a room full of typewriters, and let them write this story. Would explain the Tarzan scene.
It's magnetic... to lead and gunpowder and gold and other non-magnetic stuff. But not all the time.
Oh! It's psychic! That explains the Russians! It's psychomegnetic! Like Magneto, only not so much.
Hive mind! Wow... the more I go to the movies, the more I realize that Hollywood really wants to make a movie out of Ender's Game, but just doesn't have the guts to do it well. They wanted to do that with the Star Trek Borg movie. They thought about it with Starship Troopers. They hinted at it in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And have yet to do it.
No! Not a hive mind! A conglomerate being from an alternate dimension! from the space between spaces! And, ohmydeargod! The whoe temple is built around a giant flying sauc....
"Howard, don;t you dare tell me it's a flying saucer!"
...flying saucer! "What happens when you get George Lucas and Steven Speilberg drunk on a bad night of adventure gaming? Indiana Jones meets Close Encounters in Star Wars with ET. I kept expecting Jones to turn to his son and say, "<insert metallic breathing sound here> I am your father," and then chop off his son's hand. No, wait, that was Anakin, not Han... OK, so he was safe.
I guess, in the end, the bottom line is this: I'll give it 8 crystal skulls out of 13, with 10 skulls out of 13 for doing a fourth movie, and another 10 skulls out of 13 for keeping the characters.
But, really, George... aliens?! That's almost as bad as "Ninjas. They had... ninjas."
I was with them on the search for the crystal skull because it has some sort of secret power. Let's face it, we've seen Indy take on the Koran with the Ark of the Covenant, the Hindi writings with the Shankara stones, and the Christian New Testament with the Holy Grail, so crystal skulls with ancient secret powers are cool with me. Besides, I saw it in The Phantom not too many years ago, with Billy Zane in there as the Ghost Who Walks. Anyway, I'm all down with crystal skulls.
I'm cool with the motorcycle kid..,. even with him being Indy's son by Marian Ravenwood... good way to bring back that character, and introduce a new one who can carry on the series, especially since Indy is getting... a little... old.
I'm cool with the humor... Indy making fun of how much easier it was in the old days. Shows that the writers know that they are dealing with characters that age as the actors do.
Writers. Wait. That term might be giving a little too much credit. I mean, maybe it wasn't writers. Maybe they got all those monkeys from the Tarzan scene (no, I am not making this up), put them in a room full of typewriters, and let them write this story. Would explain the Tarzan scene.
It's magnetic... to lead and gunpowder and gold and other non-magnetic stuff. But not all the time.
Oh! It's psychic! That explains the Russians! It's psychomegnetic! Like Magneto, only not so much.
Hive mind! Wow... the more I go to the movies, the more I realize that Hollywood really wants to make a movie out of Ender's Game, but just doesn't have the guts to do it well. They wanted to do that with the Star Trek Borg movie. They thought about it with Starship Troopers. They hinted at it in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And have yet to do it.
No! Not a hive mind! A conglomerate being from an alternate dimension! from the space between spaces! And, ohmydeargod! The whoe temple is built around a giant flying sauc....
"Howard, don;t you dare tell me it's a flying saucer!"
...flying saucer! "What happens when you get George Lucas and Steven Speilberg drunk on a bad night of adventure gaming? Indiana Jones meets Close Encounters in Star Wars with ET. I kept expecting Jones to turn to his son and say, "<insert metallic breathing sound here> I am your father," and then chop off his son's hand. No, wait, that was Anakin, not Han... OK, so he was safe.
I guess, in the end, the bottom line is this: I'll give it 8 crystal skulls out of 13, with 10 skulls out of 13 for doing a fourth movie, and another 10 skulls out of 13 for keeping the characters.
But, really, George... aliens?! That's almost as bad as "Ninjas. They had... ninjas."
Posted: Mon - May 26, 2008 at 12:41 AM
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Published On: May 26, 2008 12:41 AM
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Published On: May 26, 2008 12:41 AM