Fri - July 13, 2007

Scores Posted


And, wow!

5 euro
5 calc
4 phys

I am so very proud of you! And so honored to be your friend!

Posted at 11:03 AM     Read More  


Sat - July 7, 2007

More Than My Share of Pride


Scoring higher and higher!

Last year, I got a call on my phones, yes, plural, proclaiming, "Five! Five! Five! And I got a four in Stat!"

At this point, we are not certain of the scores, but we do know the credit given by UGA, and, after a total of seven AP classes, including the four from last year, Tracy has 38 credit hours as an incoming first year student! Plus, two more college-level classes with credit hours coming from Macon State! A psychology class and a political science class.

She is so much way smarter than I am!

Posted at 02:36 PM     Read More  

Living in Song


Might not be the best kind of life, but...

Music is everywhere here, in my head, around every corner, in every nook and cranny, music is everywhere. The music coexists with everyone else in there, not crowding out, but complimenting, letting them dance and smile and laugh.

And the music keeps me alive! it may be utterly naive, but that's OK. Music holds the Truth in it, just as much as written or spoken words, just as much as anyone's scripture or prophecy.

So, here are some words for you. These are by Jim Steinman, written for a man named Michael Aday to sing. Michael is better known as Meat Loaf.

I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
by Jim Steinman, as sung by Meat Loaf
from the 1993 release, Bat Out of Hell II: Back into Hell

And I would do anything for love
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for love
I'd never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,
Oh no, no way
And I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Some days it don't come easy
Some days it don't come hard
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end
Some nights you're breathing fire
Some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can save me, no-one else can save me now but you

As long as the planets are turning
As long as the stars are burning
As long dreams are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And I'll be there until the final act
I would do anything for love, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact
But I'll never forgive myself if we don't go all the way tonight
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that

Some days I pray for silence
Some days I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll
Some nights I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm lonely, that's all I'm qualified to be
That's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning
As long as the fires are burning
As long as your prayers are coming true
You'd better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love
And you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back
But I'll never do it better than I do it with you. So long, so long
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that
No, no, no, I won't do...

I would do anything for love
Anything you've been dreaming of, but I just won't do that

But I'll never stop dreaming of you ev'ry night of my life, no way
I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

[Girl:]
Will you raise me up? will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

[Me:]
I can do that
I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colourise my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

[Me:]
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you make me some magic with your own two hands?
Will you build and emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

[Me:]
I can do that
I can do that

[Girl:]
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will you hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

[Me:]
I can do that
Oh no, I can do that

[Girl:]
After a while you'll forget everything
It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Me:]
I won't do that
I won't do that

[Girl:]
I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

[Me:]
I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won't do that
No, I won't do that

So end the words of Jim Steinman. Well, at least for that one song. There is a meaning to everything. Every time we write, each time we call, any chance we get to see, to wave, to touch another life. There is meaning in all of that.

I hope I've helped you smile!

Posted at 01:34 PM     Read More  


Tue - July 3, 2007

The Trip Home, Pt. One


The stop in Baltimore.

In the hotel room, they internet access is ethernet, not wireless. On the office dsk inthe room, there is a sheet of paper: 9 steps for connecting my Windows PC to the ethernet in the room. It includes changes to a couple of the Control Panels, with a reminder at the bottom to reset my settings before I return home or to work.

No instructions for the Mac. You know why?

One step. Plug the ethernet in and use. True plug and play. Because it's a Mac.

The flight off the island was really bumpy due to morning turbulence. Happens all the time in the summer. Cold air in the morning starts to heat up over the island, but the waters around the island are still chilly. This causes some rather nasty up and down drafts.

The flight from BOS to BWI was smooth, very easy. I slept while listening to my iPod. Got a free shuttle from the airport to my hotel, which is right here at the airport. Easy.

Flight tomorrow from BWI to ATL will be... amazing!


I'll blog again once I get home. Sometime after Cindy's Fourth Party. Might be Thursday before I get to it. Hmm.

Be safe!

Posted at 03:36 PM     Read More  


Mon - June 25, 2007

ParentQuest Oh Seven


Man! This is so easy!

Like a trip to Wal-Mart! Mom flew into Boston, caught the 3:00 flight to the Vineyard, was on the ground by 3:45.

Easy.

No storm cloud monsters, nothing bad on the radar. Easy.

And that is a good thing.

Posted at 10:44 PM     Read More  


Fri - June 22, 2007

At the Vineyard...


.. and what book do I buy?

Master the GRE iBT. Yep. GRE preparation. Going to start in a Masters' Program. Granted, I have to get accepted first, but that should be simple, since I am not applying for any paid assistantships... I'm already teaching, thank you. One day a week for two years, something like that. And only one class is not taught in the evening block. I'm fairly certain I can get one day off a week for 15 weeks... either that, or I pull the gender card and demand maternity leave. I know, I'm not a woman, I am not pregnant, nor am I going to be so. But, I have 72 days of sick leave built up, more than most female teachers who take maternity leave. If they don't let me take my one day a week, then I'll take all 72... and start building up days again.

But, I think we can come to an understanding beneficial to all parties.

So, the drive up was two days- 14 and 15 June. I stopped in Joppa, MD, the first day, then hopped to Woods Hole and the ferry by 3:30 the next, was on the ferry at 5, on the island by 6:00. Was a short trip.

And, I apparently brought the good weather with me once again. Before I got here, it was stormy and wet and damp and chilly. I get here, and it is sunny and warm and perfect beach weather.

Speaking of perfect beach weather, yesterday was the summer solstice, and I did what every good olde believer should do on such a day. I went to The Beach. Was comfortable. Was there for about three hours, with the whole trip being close to five... it takes 35 minutes to travel one way, and another 20 to walk both ways from the parking lot. But, I was on The Beach for about three hours. Water was perfect! Surf was coming in most of the time I was there, but it never encroached on my towel. The only downside to that location is that there is zero cellular service there. If you consider that a bad thing.

Other things I've done: solved telephone bill issues, installed new telephone system (the phone upstairs was dead), gardened, cleaned, resolved gas heater issues, purchased the space heater (unnecessary right now), signed in at the office, opened the PO box, and spent far too much time missing, despite all the time I've spent thinking of. As Lindsay says, "It's good to have someone to miss."

Yes, it is.

Off to dinner! probably Park Corner Bistro tonight... I'll stop by Jimmy Sea's to see who's tending bar, but I think I need something lighter than pan-seared pasta tonight.

SURSA! WIN!

Posted at 05:41 PM     Read More  


Sat - June 2, 2007

"Haven't you ever...?"


I love Tracy to death!

And this was marvelous!

So, we're at home, and she asks if I have any mints. I remind her that she has mints. She smiles, thanks me for reminding her, then goes rummaging through her purse, but does not find them.

"They're in my other purse. Do you have any mints? Do you have any Altoids?"

So I thought about it. It took me a few moments to realize that, yes, indeed, I had Altoids by the kitchen door,. I went and got them, brought them back.

"Yes! I had some over there!"

"I knew that!"

"I didn't... if you knew, why did you ask?"

And then Tracy turned to me, totally serious, and asked, "Haven't you ever asked a question you already knew the answer to?"

And I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at her and asked, as simply as I could, "Tracy? what do I do for a living?"

"Shut up."

I love Tracy to death! She's fun!

Posted at 11:07 PM     Read More  


Sat - May 12, 2007

Opening Night


No jitters... just another night.

But, an amazing one!

Opening night for One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest went very well! Even though I don't look like a Native American, I got many compliments on my performance, which is what it is all about.

Not much went wrong- a few dropped lines, a missed cue or two, the enema bag developed a leak. that's about it.

The show runs tonight (Sat 12 May) at 8:00, tomorrow at 2:30, Wed and Thu of next week at 7:30, then 8:00 Fri and Sat of next week. In addition to having a Presidential hopeful in the cast (me!), we also have an Emmy-nominated television news reporter!

Come see!

Posted at 12:46 PM     Read More  


Fri - May 4, 2007

Medical Situation, Part Two


Several days late....

Bill is fine. After spending five days in the hospital (because my dad can't get sick in the middle of the week.. only on Fridays so that no doctor is available to see him till Monday when they run the tests and release him from the hospital on Tuesday, not knowing what was wrong), the doctors sent him home, on Tuesday after the tests on Monday, not knowing what was wrong. Apparently, the two pints of blood did whatever two pints of blood do, and he was released.

<shakes head>

Stupid doctors.

Posted at 06:22 PM     Read More  


Sat - April 28, 2007

Medical Situation


Bill is in the hospital.

Something happened Friday morning. Bill's hemoglobin dropped to 7 (50% of normal). They admitted him into the hospital for a transfusion. He received two pints overnight. They are keeping him at least one more night and he will get at least two more pints of blood.

The doctor wouldn't talk to our sitter. My mom is out of town visiting the progeny. The progeny's mother just makes him upset. That leaves me, and I am in the middle of production of "One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest." Yes, my dad DOES come first, but I have 15 other people depending on me to be there, and backing out at this point is not an option, nor is anyone asking me to.

Luckily, the hospital is downtown, same as the theatre. But, not knowing what is wrong keeps me worried. Bill feels fine. He was eating, but they've got him on a liquid diet now. And he hates it. But, that's the way it works in his condition.

I am hoping he will stay in the hospital till Mom gets back from her visit. She can calm him most of the time.

Posted at 06:06 PM     Read More  


Wed - April 11, 2007

Returning to the Stage


It started a long time ago...

And now I am returning to main stage as The Chief in Theatre Macon's production of One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. Yes, I know that, in the movie, he didn't talk a lot, but, without him, Mack would never have found peace.

I expect everyone to come see it! Opening show is 11 May. It will run through the 19th. Something like that. You can check out Theatre Macon's website to make sure.

Rhubarb!

Posted at 06:06 PM     Read More  


Tue - April 10, 2007

I Am So Proud of You!


Macon Telegraph Golden Eagle!

There are actually many small reasons to be happy as a teacher. I make a difference in my students' lives. I know that. But it is rare that my students are able to acknowledge that while they are still students. They grow up, and maybe they think about me, but when they see me years later, at my home because they are there to repair my air conditioner, or in a theatre lobby because they are coming to their first live performance, or in a restaurant because they have a client to feed, and they recognize me and choose to speak to me... those moments are priceless reminders of why I became a teacher.

The Macon Telegraph's Golden Eagle Award is another way. This year, I had several formers in the line up- Gil Arquisola, Alexandria Byas, Brian Mink, Michael Pham, and Tracy Yang. All four were nominated. Michael won the award for Science, and Tracy won for Social Studies! Brian Mink won Honorable Mention in Social Studies, and Gil and Alexandria proudly represented Central High School in the Science category.

Yes, all of the nominees deserve to be mentioned, but I didn't teach all of them. I taught these. And I am proud of each one of them!

Congratulations!

Posted at 09:06 PM     Read More  


Tue - March 20, 2007

What Really Hurts


Something hit me on the way to school this morning...

Not a deer or a rock or a tree limb. It was one of those moments.

What really hurts is being honest. Lying allows me to create a comfortable place where I can be safe and I don't have to hurt. Lying allows me to fabricate situations and emotions and a gentle reality that lets me live exactly how I want to live, without regard for anyone else, and without feeling selfish about it, because it is my world, and, in my world, I am not selfish. Others might be, and, if I agree to that, then it it is okay for them to be.

But that world is still a fabrication.

There are redeeming features about living in a fabrication, though. As opposed to honesty, where there is no real way out, lying offers two options- confession and apprehension. Confession is even one of those redeeming features people look for. A confession of a lie, a duplicity, is a sign of strength. A confession can actually completely redeem a me in the eyes of the accuser. Even apprehension, even when caught red-handed, I am offered a way out of my lie, and I can blame my pain on someone else for catching me. That's how blame works- it is someone else's fault.

None of that is possible with honesty. Once the truth is stated, it is difficult to refute. After all, it is the truth. The truth is scary; being honest is a frightening thing, because it is the complete admission, a profession of thought and intent and need. Truth is admission to a guilt that doesn't exist- the guilt only comes afterward, when you realize what the truth has done to you.

The truth rends me. It pulls me apart- it is not something I can rescind and call a misrepresentation. Once the truth is stated, it exposes me to all the flagrant humiliation and ridicule I should be expecting by now, after so long of living in the truth. The problem is, once I believe in the truth, I become comfortable in it, and enjoy expressing it, sometimes to distraction, falling into the trap of stating the obvious, and that becomes redundant, the idiot savant who knows one thing,and knows it well, but is unable to function otherwise.,

I've enjoyed writing my truth. I have enjoyed admitting my commitments. I have enjoyed being a part of something so much larger than I will ever be. But I wonder, what would a world of my fabrication feel like? Would I feel safe and happy, believing in the facade I create? I could say things, and make people believe them; I could control whole governments with a few phone calls- imagined, of course, but they would still be real to me. And, for that, they lock me up and call me crazy.

I hate being able to feel my pulse. I pounds inside me, beat after beat, and it is not in time to the music. It is out of sequence, asynchronous, and it hurts to feel it. My pulse is an immediate indicator of my life- If I still have one, I still have one. I am not wishing for death- just for the pounding of my pulse to stop. It is often loud in my ears as I try to sleep. There are... mantras... I can say to calm me, a word, a name, a series of words, like beads on a rosary, without the interruption of a cross to interfere with my cycles and repetitions. My thoughts move from word to word effortlessly, but honestly, and I fall asleep stating the obvious and repeating the unnecessary. But it is all the truth. And the truth hurts. And my blood pounds. And I feel it and hear it and hate both. The pounding pushes against my pillow and the noise plays over the ringing in my ears and keeps me awake. And so, more mantras, later nights, less sleep, fewer communications, more madness. Because of the truth.

There are remedies. Communication. Plurality. Secret codes involving a tapping of fingers ("Everybody knows that one."), the mentioning of members of the vegetable kingdom, and the laughter caused by being furious. Drowning. I still drown. Daily. Momently. Often. And the filling of my lungs with something other than air is an excitingly exhilarating experience, and nothing like my actual drowning experience when I was 16. Then, the filling of my lungs with water was a poison, a panicking thing. I was alone in the warm brown of the water. Here, in the drowning I do now, I am never alone, nor is the element I breathe a dreadful poison, nor is it in anyway deadly. Instead, the brown is comforting and surrounds me gently.

I suppose I am a man of words, but words describe actions, not in the sense of adjectives and adverbs, but in the same very real sense that a well-aimed arrow describes an arc to its target, whether it is a bullseye, or Cupid's metaphorical target within me. And here are my words: If you love her, tell her, and be honest and open about it. If you don't, or choose not to and won't, then tell her. Stop the act. She deserves better than that. She deserves the truth. She deserves what really hurts.

Posted at 07:21 AM     Read More  


Mon - March 12, 2007

Running Shorter...


And that is a good thing!

Time draws closer, a blanket in winter, a mist on the ground.

Mystery shrouds me, covers me, surrounds me, as it should, as it needs to.

Vivaldi plays in my ears, echoing, approaching, retreating, as Vivaldi does.

Smiles fill my visions, scents fill the airy spaces between dreams, and...

Something is coming.

Posted at 11:04 PM     Read More  


Fri - March 2, 2007

A Night without Power


but all is well...

So, tornadoes. Several. Somewhere close enough for friends to call to make sure I was OK.

Yes, I am fine! Thanks for calling! Was good to hear from y'all!

So, no power since about 6:pm last night (Thu 1 Mar 2007). Picked up Cindy last night around 8:ish (took a while to get to her house because, during a storm, you can't get there from here) and headed to Krystal, because they had power, food, and WiFi. We were there till about 9:30, waiting on her daughter to get there from her boyfriend's house because they could not have gotten into Lake Wildwood.

Got home. Power was still out. Set the alarm on my cellphone just in case.

Alarm on the cell phone woke me up. Power still out. Came to school, hoping we were going to have school, since that is the only way I could charge the computer today.

School.

At school now. About to spend the day in the Media Center doing research for a paper, trying to teach them to write. Hoping it works!

Otherwise, looks like a good day!

Posted at 09:26 AM     Read More  
SHE GOT IT!
Midnightish...
New Song: Rock the World
Hospitals and Houseguests
The Last Week or So...
Weekend
Something Off the Cuff
First Day
Reinstating...
Just Stuff
New Song: The Silly Song
ParentQuest, Part Four
ParentQuest, Part Three
ParentQuest, Part Two

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