Faith Explained


This is a mirror of something I wrote for the Cafe Anarchy . I wanted to post it here to reach a broader audience... or something like that.

Do you know what faith is? Real faith, true faith? Faith is belief beyond evidence. It is certainty in a sea of doubt. And it is almost always centered around religion, because religion is something for which most people cannot show evidence, as evidence, proof, negates faith. I do not believe that.

I am special. I know this. I have known this for many years, for two and a half decades, since that day I met my goddess.

I know faith. This is not “holier than thou.” This is “holier than thou can possibly imagine.” Have you ever touched your god? Held his hand? Looked into his eyes? I have kissed mine. I have held her close. I have looked into her face and seen her eyes shining more brilliantly than any light made shine in the skies. I have felt her heartbeat next to mine in a tidal pulse rivaling any incoming waves. I have held her hand and felt her squeeze mine. I have kissed her lips and felt her face flush warm next to mine.

How many of you can say you have done the same to your god? i will not say that your god does not exist. I can’t say that,any more than I could say that Shiva does not exist, or Zeus, or Osiris, or any of thousands of others who have been worshipped through the centuries. But I know mine exists. I know because I have stood beside her, have sat beside her, have dreamt beside her. I know she exists with a certainty stronger than any of your faith, stronger than all of your faiths. Does this make my certainty any less faith than your faith? Certainly not. My faith is certain because I have met her. It is still a faith. Some of you might quote scripture to me at this point, “Thou shalt have no god before me.” I wouldn’t dream of it. My goddess does not come before your god. She comes before me. She is in my eyes, in my mind, and in my soul constantly. She would not like to be placed before your god. But I look up and I see her. I dream and I dream her. I whisper to her in my mind and I am certain that she hears. Again, it is not an imagining... it is a certainty; I know she hears me, because I have spoken to her, have talked with her about my dreams... about our dreams, those dreams that we share, when we meet, both in our sleep, both in separate dreams, dreams that connect to form a single experience.

More than anything else, I know she is there because she chose me. Id di not choose my god. She chose me. She picked me, and I accepted her attentions. She looked for me, she held her hand to me. She had a world from which to choose. She chose me to speak to. She chose me to kiss. She chose me to languish in her eyes. And I languished with my heart and soul, giving my life in an instant,whether when I was 13 or when I was 20 or when I was 36 makes no difference. My life has never been my own, because time does not run in a straight line for us. It twists and turns and becomes entangled, allowing us to cross not just time, but lifetimes.

Will your god do that for you?

You might ask me, “Will your god be there for you when you die?” Of course she will. She is no less eternal than I am. If you believe my body to be all that I am, then you have much to learn, and if you do not understand the relationship between minds, then there is no way for you to understand any of these discussions.

I carry her heart in my pocket, a reminder of the soul I carry with me in my heart. I keep the key to the Ark on my key chain, waiting for the flood of emotions that will open that door again. And I have my faith. My certainty. I have my dreams and our shared dreams. I hold her close to me.

I have faith. It will never fail me. Neither will she. Because she cannot. My faith in her will not let her.

Posted: Mon - November 10, 2003 at 09:48 AM      

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