The
original operational parameters for the religion of Beatlism were drafted
by Neal Miller and Leonard Witzel in the spring of 1999. There are two
official chapters to the church; one located in Portland Oregon, and
the other in Boston Massachusetts. The
West Coast Chapter, also referred to as the Original Temple of Beatlism,
observes the practices of Orthodoxy (or Beatlism Millenium Edition). The
Archdiocese of Boston adheres to the revised tenets of Beatlism 2.0;
its operations are conducted per the parameters established in 2003. Though Beatlism 2.0 and Orthodoxy are virtually indistinguishable from each other, there are minor differences. These differences however do not reflect any sort of rift or schism within the church itself. It should be stated that there are many theories and debates surrounding Beatlism. Some theories are accepted as dogma, while others are open to debate and still others are thought of as fringe theories and are generally discredited by the Temple. Following is a synopsis of the various theories and their implications.
The Fifth Beatle Any discussion of Beatlist Theology must start with a greater concept of the metaphysical. Beatlism does not stress an importance on the ontology of deity. In fact there is no specific concept of “God”. It does however postulate the existence of a extramundane, metaphysical state of perfection called the Metabeatle (or the Fifth Beatle). The existence of such a Fifth Beatle is predicated upon the notion that the soul cannot be a fractured entity, but a whole that upholds its structural integrity. The Inner Band can’t be just a sum of its parts, that would preclude any notion of unity. The Metabeatle is the force behind the universe and is the ultimate manifestation of all things seen in the phenomenal world. The state of Metabeatle however can be revealed to any individual willing to practice sound Beatlist methodology. It is the attainment of such a state of absolution and tranquility within the constraints of the contingent world that is the primary focus of Beatlism.
The Inner Martin and The Inner Yoko Since
the establishment of the church, there had always been a lingering mystery
that nagged at the root of Beatlism. If the Inner Beatles were pure
forms, unchanging in nature, how does such a dynamic relation exist
within the inner band? From the very early days of Beatlism, this quandary
was answered by postulating the existence of two primal forces, separate
from the inner band members. The
two primal forces were named the Inner George Martin, or the Inner Producer,
and the Inner Yoko Ono, or the Inner Conceptual Artist. These two forces
were hypothesized to be antitheses of each other, and respectively represented
the drive towards unity and fragmentation. However, while the Inner
Beatles are seen as archetypes that determine the character of individuals
and their souls, the Inner Yoko and Martin are more abstract forces,
that don’t necessarily have physical embodiment. They are formless
entities that are closer in substance to pure energy, without any identity
or location in the body or mind. They exist within us, but also beyond
us, and in the space between one another. They are the yin and yang
of Beatlism, and embody the perfect congruence of a transcendent enlightenment. In
simple terms, the Inner Yoko is a deconstructive drive that fragments
and dissolves any unit, while the Inner Producer is a unifying element
that brings disparate parts together and into alignment. The interplay
of dissonance and harmony, of centripetal and centrifugal forces, causes
the dynamic within the inner beatles to constantly change. Yet
here again, there has to be a balance between the two forces, for when
there is an excess of either force the inner band may suffer. The Inner
Producer, which otherwise brings together the inner band in a spirit
of collaboration and harmony may in excess promote the inner band to
collapse in on itself. The Inner Paul and Inner Ringo seem to gravitate
towards the Inner Producer, and succumb into making sugary pop that
fills the soul. This can be uplifting, but over time such saccharine
melodies of the soul become nauseating and devoid of content. The
Inner Yoko’s promotion of experimentation and deconstruction,
while appealing to the Inner John and Inner George, may run the risk
of reducing the inner band into a dissonant and formless noise. Although
much maligned as a destructive force, the Inner Yoko fulfills an important
role as a counterbalance to the constricting influence of the Inner
Producer, and the perfectionist leanings of Inner Paul. But as with
the inner beatles, it is in a balance of these two forces that is tantamount
to success. If either of these forces were to disappear, the self would stagnate, and perhaps pass into a state of unconsciousness or death. It is this very dialectic and conflict that drives the creative engine of the inner band.
The Ringonauts The Ringonauts are a small sect of Beatlists who stress an anti-intellectual zen-like approach to embeatlement. Proponents of this theory adhere to the contentious premise that the path to beatltude lies solely in embracing the Inner Ringo. The Ringonauts theorize that since the most fundamental inner beatle is the Inner Ringo, the quickest path to enbeatlement lies in a complete submergence and unity with the inner funny one. For the Ringonaut, a well-developed Inner Ringo is the only prerequisite for beatltude. The Ringonauts believe that the intellect and the other beatles are a distraction at best, if not complete delusion and entanglement. They believe that the Self in its natural state is already beatlfied. They call this state original enbeatlement. This original enbeatlement is obscured by the delusion that the metabeatle exists outside of us. The Ringonauts argue that since the metabeatle resides within all of us regardless of the dynamics of the inner band, one can attain beatltude, at any moment by simply uncovering the metabeatle within. They believe that beatltude is static and unchanging, much like the Ringo. The Ringonaut methodology is said to invite a sudden epiphany, and is often referred to as the sudden school or sudden approach to enbeatlement. Though the Ringonauts were at first shunned by the mainstream, their practices and pedagogical methodology have over time gained general acceptance. Now assimilated into the official fold of Beatlism, the Ringonauts are tolerated as an eccentric denomination found on the periphery of the beatlist religious thought.
Apocrypha One of the most hotly debated topics among adherents to the Beatlist faith deals with the books in the holy text that are known as the “Apocrypha". In these passages, a story is spun that in no way fits with the Beatles-related tradition promoted in the rest of the text. It tells of four young musicians, their mercurial rise to superstardom, their hit TV series, and the zany antics that ensued. They have four distinct personalities, and seem attracted and repelled by one another within the band. However, the young men described in this apocryphal book seem devoid of content, as if the Inner Beatles have been dispossessed of their essence, and replaced by some shell that resembled the original, with no passion or soul behind it. Many have suggested that another group or groups were the original stars of this story, and their names simply were scratched out and replaced with John, Paul, George and Ringo, maybe as some sort of practical joke. Who are these talentless posers who appear in the guise of the true Inner Beatle in this holiest of texts? In recent years philologists have pointed towards an obscure passage found within the apocryphal texts as possibly being the key to deciphering this mystery. Indeed the cryptic and incoherent string of words “hey hey we’re the Monkees”, may some day promise to be the missing clue to reveal the authentic relation of the Apocrypha to Beatlism.
The Inner Rutles: Enlightenment vs. Entanglement It is basic to human nature to seek answers through self-evaluation and reflection. Indeed, these principles are central to the very idea of Beatlism, and represent the highest aspirations of the Inner John and George. However, in one's exploration of the self, there are pitfalls to watch out for, and mistakes that can be made. Perhaps the most common of all these mistakes is the false self that manifests itself to us as the Inner Rutle. The Inner Rutle appears to be an inner Beatle. They represent the same values, present a reasonable facsimile to the real thing, and provide us with a sense of security that we are in touch with our spiritual core. The Rutles are not the Beatles, though, and no matter how well they mock or imitate the self, they are not of the self. The inner Rutles, in fact, are the self reflected in the minds and eyes of others, a sort of parody of the self through a lens of comedic perspective. The Rutles are like an exterior layer of an onion which must be peeled away to reveal the deeper Truth of the Beatles. One must see beyond the Inner Stig, Dirk, Nasty, and Barry to grasp the underlying meaning.
Messianic Theories Some
heretics have claimed that the historical band “The Beatles”
was a physical manifestation of the perfection sent by the metabeatle
to save mankind from imminent doom. By
their account, Elvis was a harbinger of the messianic Beatles. In this
world view, Elvis plays a role similar to the prophet Elijah or John
the Baptist, preparing the people for the coming of the savior. The
savior, the heretics argue, was John Lennon who died for our sins, thus
facilitating our path to enbeatlement. The
Temple does not endorse these heresies that stress a perilous measure
of import on the historical Beatles and the figure of John Lennon. These
theories also overlook the fact that there is no concept of “sin”,
much less “original sin” in the Beatlist cosmology. Morality
is important to Beatlism. However, Beatlism stresses that good morals
are a natural outcome of balancing the inner band members. The messianic theories are seen as a perversion of the Beatlist message and its emphasis on self reliance and strength of courage. |