LordPeter List Literary Contest

Harriett walked away from the table. She was now just the right size to go through through small door. She walked into the large room that she had seen through the doorway. On a platform at one end was a most curious orchestra. The musicians were oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners. They were ornamented all over with spades. The conductor of the orchestra was shaped exactly like the musicians, but he was ornamented with only one large spade.

She sat down at one of the small tables that were arranged all round the sides of the room. On the floor a couple was dancing. The man was tall with a round face, large eyes, and a wide, melancholy mouth. "Why, he looks just like a sad frog," thought Harriet. She looked more closely at the girl. She was a beautiful flamingo pink, with a long, thin face, a slender neck which she occasionally wrapped around her partner, and rather thin arms and legs.

"Autres temps, autres moeurs," murmured Harriett, and wondered if that were quite the quotation she wanted; she had only just reached that level of French in her classes. "What's that? What did you say?" asked the rabbity-faced gentleman sitting at the table with her. Harriett did not remember him asking permission to sit at her table, so she ignored him and looked about the room.

The women all looked rather like the girl who was dancing, with thin necks and arms and legs, very bright eyes, and sharp mouths. They were dressed in bright, loud colors, with huge bustles and enormous trains. Their voices were loud and raucous. "Curiouser and curiouser," thought Harriett, "It almost looks as though their clothes are made of feathers." She looked down, and found to her surprise that she was wearing the same type of dress as they were.

The rabbity-faced gentleman pulled a watch out of his waistcoat pocket, "I'm late for my appointment with the Queen" he cried. "Oh, may I go, too?", asked Harriett. "Of course not," replied the rabbity-faced gentleman, "You can't get through the door."

"Don't talk nonsense," said Harriet, "you know perfectly well that one has only to remove the train and the bustle to get through the door. After all, it's only a game."

At these words, the assembled company set up a loud fuss, flapping their wings and cawing. "It's a game, it's a game", they all cackled together, "But she's not playing by the rules."

-- Miss Tarrant, a good Socialist

Parody of...

Back to the LordPeter Literary Contest page.