LordPeter List
Literary Contest
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LordPeter List |
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Harriet is seated at a small table in the lounge, drinking coffee. Mrs. Weldon sits down at the table.
Mrs. W: How can you sit there, calmly drinking coffee when I am in this horrible trouble? You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.
Harriet: Well, I can't drink coffee in an agitated manner. I would probably burn my lips. One should always drink coffee calmly; it is the only way to drink it.
Mrs. W: It is heartless your drinking coffee at all, under the circumstances. Don't you understand, Mr. Alexis is missing!
Harriet: What you mean by missing is hardly the same thing as what I mean by missing, and so I might as well drink coffee.
Mrs. W: But Mr. Alexis - Paul - and I are engaged to be married!
Harriet: You and Mr. Alexis are engaged to be married, but you cannot be married, because he is missing. Peter Wimsey wants to be engaged to me, and he is never missing; in fact, here he is now!
Peter: Harriet! darling! angel!
Mrs. W: Lord Peter, Mr. Alexis is missing! Have you found him?
Peter: It pains me to tell you, Mrs. Weldon, that not only have I found Paul Alexis, but so have all the little crabs and lobsters at the bottom of the sea. I have also found that he was not in reality Paul Alexis, but the Prime Minister of Ruritania, and that his Christian name was --
Harriet: Antoine!
Peter: What? What's that?
Antoine (dancing by with a girl in pink): Yes, it is true. Alexis was christened Antoine, and I am truly Paul Alexis. I hid my real identity, because I was a foundling, left as a baby in one of the larger railway stations in London. And now the truth can be revealed, because it is important to be truthful. Mrs. Weldon -- will you marry me?
Mrs. W: Why, yes, I would be delighted. (They exit together.)
Peter: Harriet, we must either resign ourselves to passionate celibacy, or we must follow their example. Which shall it be? You know that I love you, will you marry me?
Harriet: How about a spot of tennis?
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